Condom came off

[abcd1234]

Hi, Im going to try and be as delicate as i can in explaining this, but...

Me and my girlfriend were having sex last night. After climaxing i pulled out and to my horror i realised the condom had come off.

The condom was still inside her vagina, with the little rolled edge still outside her body. It obviously came off as i pulled out. She stood up in a panic and took it out.

I dont think any semen would have made contact with her vagina but just to be safe im going to go and get her an over-the-counter morning after pill.

We talked about her menstrual cycle and she said she had just finished her period. But we both know pregnancy can occur at any time.

I have a few questions for you all...

What are the chances of pregnancy given that we are pretty sure no semen touched her and that she will be taking the morning after pill about 20 hours later?

She has just got off her period, what does this mean for her chances of getting pregnant?

IMPORTANTLY: Will i (her boyfriend) be able to buy the morning-after pill over the counter on her behalf? She is unable to do so today because she is on a day-trip with her family and by the time she gets home the pharmacy will have closed. Also, we want to take ASAP, as it is apparently more effective?

Please reply ASAP, im going to the pharmacy ina few hours to get the pill if i can. In the UK, i think what i am asking for is a "post-coital pill" called "Levonelle one step".

Thanks, abc

[eliza]

Well, the chances seem very low from what you've described, but it's for the best if you get her to take the pill anyway. No, there shouldn't be a problem with a man buying a morning after pill, the pharmasists will know how urgent it is. If there is a problem, call NHS 24 (08454 242424) and they can get a nurse to get it for you - usually for free, but this will take longer, and the pharmacies may be closed by the time you've went through all that. But do this only if you can't get it over the counter. Yes, it's Levonelle something from what I remember (I had to take it once.Lol).. and anyway, you can just ask the pharmasist if you're not sure about anything.

[arwen]

If she has taken the MA pill, the chance is close to zero. Things like this can happen, remember that condoms are not the safest contraceptive. Would it be an idea for her to go on the pill or have an IUD?

Arwen

[abcd1234]

Ive been to two pharmacies and they wont supply me with the morning-after pill, it has to be the female because they need to ask her questions about her mesnstrual cycle, allergies, etc.

Ive also spoken to her, she is out all day today and doesnt know what time she will be home so she may not get back before the pharmacy closes.

She seems quite confused about the whole thing. She text me saying "should we just get a pregnancy test instead and if its positive then go to the doctors?". Ive said ill get one if she wants it.

What is the most effective time for a girl to take a pregnancy test? How many hours/days after having sex? Time of day, etc.??

Ive told her ill support her no matter what she wants to do as its up to her. Im going to go with her to the pharmacy, doctors, hospital, ect. Thats the kind of thing i should be saying right?? She seems quite distant, i think she is worried and understandably so, im worrying my butt off.

More replies would be appreciated. I need advice as i feel so lost, and i also feel like im losing her...

abc

[sophie274]

There is no point getting a pregnancy test now. It takes about 2 weeks after conception for a positive to show up on a test, and conception could happen a few days after you have sex. Basically, you should wait until her period is due to come - if she is late, take a test.

You really need to get the MAP. Can't she get out of her family obligation? Even if she has to tell her parents, it could be worth it. This is potentially the rest of her life she is talking about. Can you not put her on the phone with the pharmacy rep? While the MAP is effective up to 72 hrs after intercourse, it is most effective ASAP.

She also sounds a bit fuzzy on issues of conception/birth control/menstrual cycle/pregnancy. I suggest the both of you read up a bit on the realities of the female reproductive cycle, and on BC options available to you. And I recommend using two methods of birth control together!

[abcd1234]

It turns out that she was worried about having to take a whole course of tablets, shes really not very good at taking them and seeks alternatives wherever possible. Now that she knows its only 1 or 2 tablets she is onboard with the idea.

If she cant get out of her family obligaton before the pharmacy closes then we will have to get it ASAP tomorrow morning (about 33-35 hours after sex). If she can get out of it then we will have to race across to the pharmacy tonight to get the pill (about 21 hours after sex).

Ive suggested that we should probably go to a doctor anyway and see if she can be put on the contraceptive pill, as well as continuing to use condoms, that should render us fairly safe against this ever happening again. She may not like pills but im sure she would rather take them then go through all of this ever again.

To be honest im looking at it from a positive light. Im confident that the semen was contained in the condom whilst it was still inside her. Taking the morning-after pill as a precaution and then seeing a doctor should provide us with safety. I think also as another precaution she should take a pregnancy test in a few weeks (after her period is due) just to be extra, extra, extra sure.

If anyone knows anything about the menstrual cycle and when a woman is most likely to get pregnant then i would really appreciate some information.

Thanks everyone

[sophie274]

Technically, a woman ovulates 14 days before the start of her next period, which is smack dab in the middle of a 28 day cycle. However, many women do not have a 28 day cycle, or ovulate exactly on the 14th day before the period is due to start. That is why gambling on someone's cycle is a very risky business!
Keep in mind that sperm can live up to 5 days (reportedly) in a woman's reproductive system, so the window for which sex could result in conception is significantly larger than the 24 hr lifetime of an egg.

You can go on Wikipedia and look up "menstrual cycle". There is a very long and detailed entry, I think.

I think it would be a good idea for you and your girlfriend to read up on women's reproductive cycles and health and to investigate methods of birth control. If your girlfriend does not want to take pills every day, there are many other options available: hormonal methods such as the Depo shot, the Ortho-Evra patch or the NuvaRing are some examples, as well as the Mirena IUD implant, and non-hormonal methods such as copper IUD, diaphragm, female condom. Some of these are more effective than others (diaphragm for instance is not as effective as the others), and they come at different prices, so ask your doc for information. He should be able to provide detailed info with the pros and cons of different methods of BC. Planned Parenthood (just google) also has a website with a lot of info on BC methods.

[arwen]

Ive been to two pharmacies and they wont supply me with the morning-after pill, it has to be the female because they need to ask her questions about her mesnstrual cycle, allergies, etc.

Ive also spoken to her, she is out all day today and doesnt know what time she will be home so she may not get back before the pharmacy closes.

She seems quite confused about the whole thing. She text me saying "should we just get a pregnancy test instead and if its positive then go to the doctors?". Ive said ill get one if she wants it.

What is the most effective time for a girl to take a pregnancy test? How many hours/days after having sex? Time of day, etc.??

Ive told her ill support her no matter what she wants to do as its up to her. Im going to go with her to the pharmacy, doctors, hospital, ect. Thats the kind of thing i should be saying right?? She seems quite distant, i think she is worried and understandably so, im worrying my butt off.

More replies would be appreciated. I need advice as i feel so lost, and i also feel like im losing her...

abc

Hey abc,

I think this is a bit of odd behaviour on her part. If this would happen to me, and pregnancy would really NOT be wanted at this point in life/relationship, I'd drop whatever I have on my schedule and run to the pharmacy/doctor first thing. I have had this happen to me, not with condoms, but I have forgotten the pill two times when I was still on oral contraceptives. We didn't use condoms (first sexual partners of each other), and we went to the doctor and pharmacy directly.

A few things come to mind about what you write.

1. is it at ALL possible that she would like to get pregnant? It's a wild guess but I am just trying to figure out what she's up to.
2. does she deep down blame you for the situation the two of you (not just her) is in now? If so, why doesn't she do the 'arwen-like' speed run to the pharmacy and get it herself? I mean nowadays a girl can get the MAP over the counter (at the time it happened to me I first needed the doctor and a prescription, etc).

The earlier she takes a round of MAP (it's a couple of pills usually), the BETTER.

Arwen

[abcd1234]

We are both 18 and obviously a little "cautious" around our parents. Our parents obviosly know that we are having sex, simply because that is what people in a relationship do, and our parents are not stupid.

The reason she hasnt dropped everything is because she cant. Her mum is very controlling and puts a lot of pressure on her. Today she had a family "get together" to go to and it would be very unusual for her to say she cant go. If she were to try and make an excuse her mum would say no and then want to know the real reason for her trying to skip this family occasion.

She doesnt want to get pregnant, she has enough of a struggle with life, and i think that pregnancy would be a terrible thing for her right now given our ages and state of mind.

Ive been on the internet and it seems that our local hospital actually does an "out of hours" emergency contraceptive service. It operates after 7pm (its 8:30pm now) so if i see her tonight and we can make an excuse to get out of her house without her mum growing suspicious, then we may be able to go there and get the pill tonight. Thats obviously better than waiting until the morning.

[arwen]

Hey abcd,

I had no idea of the age, it doesn't show in your profile. That certainly changes things (lol, I had the impression you guys were around my age, hope you are not offended ).

Just to reassure you a bit:

1. a woman can get pregnant at any stage of her cycle, but some stages are more likely (this not being one of them).
2. Within 72 hours (three days) after intercourse, the MAP will work.

Still, at 18 I think it should be possible for her to get on the pill, that is, in Holland you wouldn't need parents consent for that at that age.

Arwen