Worried about GF/friend

Demonblade · 03-29-2007, 07:35 PM

In one of my classes I had a guest speaker and he started talking about pot and the stuff he was saying made me worry. He said that 1 joint is equal to 4 cigarettes, and a that it causes cancer, etc. I already knew it caused cancer and a couple other things about it but he informed me about things I didn't know that made me worry (more). My GF (who also is my best friend) smokes pot (almost daily), she claims she smokes it responsibly and always makes sure she still can get high without damage. It worried me a little when I first heard she smoked pot, but now I'm VERY worried. I don't know, maybe my main thing is that I don't want her to die from cancer or something. I just want to let her know that it worries me without sounding like her father or overprotective or something. I want her to know that, while it is still her choice, I care about her safety and health. Please, any suggestions on how to bring this up and talk to her about it?

**caro33** · 03-29-2007, 08:00 PM

I had serious pot-smoking friends and housemates some years ago, when I was 19-21. Of the five who smoked a lot:
- Two had what looked to be serious short term memory problems. Memories like dementia patients. This persevered for at least a year or two after they gave up (we then stopped hanging out, I have no idea if it was permanent). Both also had depressive episodes that seemed strongly linked to their bong smoking.
- One had his marijuana use apparently trigger schizophrenia (as I understand it he always had it in him, but when he started smoking dope he went from star althete and scholar to medicated in-patient).
- One was fine and stayed fine for the next ten years I knew him. Who knows what might have happened after that.
- Another was fine except for panic inducing random flashbacks and he wasn't sure of the cause. Probably his LSD use though.

I have a friend now who smoked joints every night for some years, and she's fine. For now. Cancer can take time.

My point is that marijuana can do more than cause cancer, although that would be bad enough. The dope of today is often hydroponically grown and as I understand it is far more powerful than what the hippies smoked years ago and declared to be safe. I remember reading recently that a pro-legalisation body that fought hard in the UK for marijuana to be make legal for some decades has just decided it's not right after all, and has come out on the side of prohibition because of negative health effects.

You have every right to be concerned about her but it's her choice. Lots of people smoke and are fine, she may choose to believe she will be too, and reject your advice. But I suggest collecting facts and literature, printing key pages, and then finding a quiet time to talk about your concerns...

Here are some sites I found from random googling.

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

Demonblade · 03-29-2007, 08:38 PM

I know it's her choice, I already said that. Is it wrong to let her know that the chances worry me? I just don't want her to be a statistic. Can I let her know AND let her know that I'm not trying to dictate her decisions? That I know it is up to her to keep smoking or quit and that I have no say in it.

nosoul · 03-29-2007, 08:38 PM

hey my boyfriend also use to smoke pot, i had an uncle who had drugs take over his life, so to me drugs are a huge no no. any way i told my boyfriend, how i didnt like them becuase of what happend to my uncle and told him if he did them again i would dump him, becuase i didnt want to be labeled as doin them as well. and plus i care about him, and we have been dating for 1 year and 10 months and he hasnt done it since the nice we went out. if she cares about u mayb she'll stop or atleast slow it down a lttle hope i helped!! also im in high school and its like everyone does it, and both us dont so its huge accomplishment, becuase of how easily it is to get.

**caro33** · 03-29-2007, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonblade

I know it's her choice, I already said that. Is it wrong to let her know that the chances worry me? I just don't want her to be a statistic. Can I let her know AND let her know that I'm not trying to dictate her decisions? That I know it is up to her to keep smoking or quit and that I have no say in it.

Hmm you're welcome. No it's not wrong for you to let her know how you feel. Like I suggested, why not do some research and take it to discuss with her. Then it looks like you have some facts on your side and it's not just you saying you don't like it. This does not have to look like you are dictating if you are gentle and not dogmatic about it. Just say the stuff you said here even.

By the way, ultimately you do have some say in it and you might want to think about that for down the track in case she keeps smoking. But that say is exercised by you telling her you cannot date a dope smoker. It's then up to her what she does. But that's perhaps some way off and trying to talk about it with her first - as you are wanting to do - would seem reasonable.

Demonblade · 03-30-2007, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caro33

Hmm you're welcome. No it's not wrong for you to let her know how you feel. Like I suggested, why not do some research and take it to discuss with her. Then it looks like you have some facts on your side and it's not just you saying you don't like it. This does not have to look like you are dictating if you are gentle and not dogmatic about it. Just say the stuff you said here even.

By the way, ultimately you do have some say in it and you might want to think about that for down the track in case she keeps smoking. But that say is exercised by you telling her you cannot date a dope smoker. It's then up to her what she does. But that's perhaps some way off and trying to talk about it with her first - as you are wanting to do - would seem reasonable.

It's not that I can't date a pot smoker. I don't care if she smokes pot, it's just the consequences that bother and scare me. Yes, I'll do the research and everything.

I don't and didn't mean to sound ungrateful for your advice, because I really am. I apologize if I sound(ed) ungrateful.

03-29-2007, 07:35 PM	#1
Demonblade Offline Member Join Date: May 2005 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 224	Worried about GF/friend In one of my classes I had a guest speaker and he started talking about pot and the stuff he was saying made me worry. He said that 1 joint is equal to 4 cigarettes, and a that it causes cancer, etc. I already knew it caused cancer and a couple other things about it but he informed me about things I didn't know that made me worry (more). My GF (who also is my best friend) smokes pot (almost daily), she claims she smokes it responsibly and always makes sure she still can get high without damage. It worried me a little when I first heard she smoked pot, but now I'm VERY worried. I don't know, maybe my main thing is that I don't want her to die from cancer or something. I just want to let her know that it worries me without sounding like her father or overprotective or something. I want her to know that, while it is still her choice, I care about her safety and health. Please, any suggestions on how to bring this up and talk to her about it?

03-29-2007, 08:38 PM	#4
nosoul Offline Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: -CaNaDa-`ThE bEsT pLaCe EvEr!` Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 206	hey my boyfriend also use to smoke pot, i had an uncle who had drugs take over his life, so to me drugs are a huge no no. any way i told my boyfriend, how i didnt like them becuase of what happend to my uncle and told him if he did them again i would dump him, becuase i didnt want to be labeled as doin them as well. and plus i care about him, and we have been dating for 1 year and 10 months and he hasnt done it since the nice we went out. if she cares about u mayb she'll stop or atleast slow it down a lttle hope i helped!! also im in high school and its like everyone does it, and both us dont so its huge accomplishment, becuase of how easily it is to get. __________________ .'.^<`>'.,/-friendlY nosouL-/,.'<'>^.'. "Alot of people can say they're pretty only some can say they're pretty on the inside"-Me

03-29-2007, 08:00 PM	#2
caro33 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,569	I had serious pot-smoking friends and housemates some years ago, when I was 19-21. Of the five who smoked a lot: - Two had what looked to be serious short term memory problems. Memories like dementia patients. This persevered for at least a year or two after they gave up (we then stopped hanging out, I have no idea if it was permanent). Both also had depressive episodes that seemed strongly linked to their bong smoking. - One had his marijuana use apparently trigger schizophrenia (as I understand it he always had it in him, but when he started smoking dope he went from star althete and scholar to medicated in-patient). - One was fine and stayed fine for the next ten years I knew him. Who knows what might have happened after that. - Another was fine except for panic inducing random flashbacks and he wasn't sure of the cause. Probably his LSD use though. I have a friend now who smoked joints every night for some years, and she's fine. For now. Cancer can take time. My point is that marijuana can do more than cause cancer, although that would be bad enough. The dope of today is often hydroponically grown and as I understand it is far more powerful than what the hippies smoked years ago and declared to be safe. I remember reading recently that a pro-legalisation body that fought hard in the UK for marijuana to be make legal for some decades has just decided it's not right after all, and has come out on the side of prohibition because of negative health effects. You have every right to be concerned about her but it's her choice. Lots of people smoke and are fine, she may choose to believe she will be too, and reject your advice. But I suggest collecting facts and literature, printing key pages, and then finding a quiet time to talk about your concerns... Here are some sites I found from random googling. [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]