11 years on abuse

lonelyguamgirl · 03-12-2007, 02:49 AM

hi i am from the island guam. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 11 years now. his behavior started off as threating. Back then we were still in high school i was not allowed to date. whenever i would make him mad he would threaten to call my parents and tell them where i was at. as the years go by off course that excuse wouldn't cut it anymore. so he would start punching me and beating. he wouldn't let me leave his house until he was satisfied with whatever we were arguing about. he would punch my head, he would kick me on my legs, he would punch my face. the other week i can't remember what had happened but he got on top of me and started to choke me. he's given me big bumps on the top of my head. scratches on my face, bruises on my chest. i forget a lot and i think a little slower than most people. my memory isn't as bad as my reflexes. sometimes when i'm with friends when they raise their arm my first instinct is to cover my face or my head. i've cried and cried. he says he hits me cause he thinks i'm immune to it now.. and that i know what to say and not to say

to get hit. there has been a short period of time where he actually did stop hitting me. but not after long it started all over again. i want to leave him.... but he won't leave my house. i have repeatedly asked him to leave me and my house but he won't !! he comes up with things to blackmail me with. i've been thinking of leaving the island and moving with my other brother in the states but i can't leave my brother here alone. i don't know what to do.... i'm fed up and tired.....

tomb · 03-12-2007, 02:57 AM

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE CALL ONE OF THESE ORGANIZATIONS... RIGHT NOW

Guam's 24 Hour Hotline
(671) 647-8833

Alee Shelter
(671) 637-2533
Hotline: 472-6709
Catholic Social Services: Established to help victims of domestic violence and spouse abuse or neglect. Women and their children may receive short term shelter, in a safe and comfortable environment, as well as guidance and counseling toward future planning of their lives.

Crisis Intervention Hotline Service
(671) 646-4455
Catholic Social Services: Reports of alleged abuse will be investigated by a social worker and services to the elderly or abused adult will be coordinated with other agencies when necessary.

Erica's House
(671) 642-4020
A support service for parents and children in need of visitation and exchange services. Services include a safe place to pick up and drop off children for exchange between parents; on-site staff or Child Protective Service (CPS) supervised visitation for families; and parenting classes will be offered for Court and CPS referred parents.

Guma Sagrada I & II
(671) 649-8881
Catholic Social Services: Provides emergency shelter, protective care and services to abused individuals (60 and over) and persons with disabilities (18 and older).

Guma San Jose I & II
(671) 637-2957
Catholic Social Services: Provides shelter to families for 30 -90 days. Included in the program are meal provisions and a caseworker to assist the family in resolving their problems which prevent their independent living arrangements.

Healing Hearts Rape Crisis Center
(671) 647-5351/ 647-5412
Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse
Provides support, information, and referrals for all survivors of sexual assault.

Inafa'Maolek Conciliation
(671) 475-1977
Trained mediators assist in troubled marriages and family conflicts, small claims disputes, work-related conflicts, and victim-offender mediation involving delinquent and criminal behavior.

Sanctuary
(671) 475-7101
Provides a 24 hour accessibility to youths between the ages of 12 to 18 years who are experiencing family problem/ conflict. This includes counseling via Sanctuary Hotline, face-to-face emergency counseling, referral services, and temporary emergency shelter.

Crime Victim's Response Unit
Office of the Attorney General- Prosecution Division
(671) 475-3132
Provides direct services to victims of crime. Services may include case information, referrals, emotional support, or court accompaniment (if needed).

Victim Advocates Reaching Out (VARO)
24 Hour Hotline: (671) 477-5552/ 647-8833
Trained volunteers respond to victims of violent crimes and their families to provide crisis intervention, information, follow-up and referral.

steff · 03-12-2007, 06:00 AM

you know he is abusing you, and you know that no one deserves this treatment, he has no right to do this to you.

what ever choice you make it will be a major choice and it will be a big deal to you, however it is your right to be treated with respect, and you are not getting it from him.

i am almost 100% sure that everyone would agree with me when i say leave him. and im sure that everyone that replies to ur post will say leave him. however we can only hope that you do leave him for your sake, and that we are always here for you as someone to talk too.

please take care of yourself, and think about ur safety.

crys81 · 03-13-2007, 03:41 AM

Get out of there now. Have you ever called the cops when he's done these things? What is making you feel like you have to stay with him??

Sometimes you need to think about yourself girlfriend. I know you think you are abandoning your family member there but you are not in a healthy situation right now. You must be a saint to have put up with that madness for 11 years.

Gracelove · 03-21-2007, 12:08 AM

I'm so sorry!
Stay strong.
Get out.

Miriverwoman · 03-28-2007, 01:53 AM

Don't they have police there? In the USA there is a domestic violence law. If you call, one of you HAS to get arrested. If he has been drinking.. he will be the one even if he says he HAS NOT hurt you. If you call, you will usually have visible signs of abuse or someone else got involved & called for you & or someone saw it happen & called for you. Yes, you have to go. He is really abusive & won't think twice about killing you. Let him kill someone else. He needs to get hit for a change. In jail, maybe he won't be such a "big " guy. You let him go too far. It sounds like you have no kids. Hopefully. You have to think of yourself & like the previous replys.. there is MUCH help out there... call now. Whose house is it? If it is your brother's.. then why isn't he sticking up for you? If it is not.. you two both leave & hurry & don't look back & do NOT EVER contact him again. Leave no trace. Start packing.. if you think he will get angry.. then get a cop to watch you do it & .........if you have more time.. get a restraining order against him first. It sounds like you have wasted much time. You need to get educated & go back to school & far away from him. There is so much help available to protect you. Please call one of those numbers that was given.. & ask... talk talk talk...go .. get ready now.

03-12-2007, 02:49 AM	#1
lonelyguamgirl Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 3	11 years on abuse hi i am from the island guam. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 11 years now. his behavior started off as threating. Back then we were still in high school i was not allowed to date. whenever i would make him mad he would threaten to call my parents and tell them where i was at. as the years go by off course that excuse wouldn't cut it anymore. so he would start punching me and beating. he wouldn't let me leave his house until he was satisfied with whatever we were arguing about. he would punch my head, he would kick me on my legs, he would punch my face. the other week i can't remember what had happened but he got on top of me and started to choke me. he's given me big bumps on the top of my head. scratches on my face, bruises on my chest. i forget a lot and i think a little slower than most people. my memory isn't as bad as my reflexes. sometimes when i'm with friends when they raise their arm my first instinct is to cover my face or my head. i've cried and cried. he says he hits me cause he thinks i'm immune to it now.. and that i know what to say and not to say to get hit. there has been a short period of time where he actually did stop hitting me. but not after long it started all over again. i want to leave him.... but he won't leave my house. i have repeatedly asked him to leave me and my house but he won't !! he comes up with things to blackmail me with. i've been thinking of leaving the island and moving with my other brother in the states but i can't leave my brother here alone. i don't know what to do.... i'm fed up and tired..... Last edited by lonelyguamgirl; 03-12-2007 at 07:17 AM.

03-12-2007, 02:57 AM	#2
tomb Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Honolulu, Hawaii Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 56	PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE CALL ONE OF THESE ORGANIZATIONS... RIGHT NOW Guam's 24 Hour Hotline (671) 647-8833 Alee Shelter (671) 637-2533 Hotline: 472-6709 Catholic Social Services: Established to help victims of domestic violence and spouse abuse or neglect. Women and their children may receive short term shelter, in a safe and comfortable environment, as well as guidance and counseling toward future planning of their lives. Crisis Intervention Hotline Service (671) 646-4455 Catholic Social Services: Reports of alleged abuse will be investigated by a social worker and services to the elderly or abused adult will be coordinated with other agencies when necessary. Erica's House (671) 642-4020 A support service for parents and children in need of visitation and exchange services. Services include a safe place to pick up and drop off children for exchange between parents; on-site staff or Child Protective Service (CPS) supervised visitation for families; and parenting classes will be offered for Court and CPS referred parents. Guma Sagrada I & II (671) 649-8881 Catholic Social Services: Provides emergency shelter, protective care and services to abused individuals (60 and over) and persons with disabilities (18 and older). Guma San Jose I & II (671) 637-2957 Catholic Social Services: Provides shelter to families for 30 -90 days. Included in the program are meal provisions and a caseworker to assist the family in resolving their problems which prevent their independent living arrangements. Healing Hearts Rape Crisis Center (671) 647-5351/ 647-5412 Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Provides support, information, and referrals for all survivors of sexual assault. Inafa'Maolek Conciliation (671) 475-1977 Trained mediators assist in troubled marriages and family conflicts, small claims disputes, work-related conflicts, and victim-offender mediation involving delinquent and criminal behavior. Sanctuary (671) 475-7101 Provides a 24 hour accessibility to youths between the ages of 12 to 18 years who are experiencing family problem/ conflict. This includes counseling via Sanctuary Hotline, face-to-face emergency counseling, referral services, and temporary emergency shelter. Crime Victim's Response Unit Office of the Attorney General- Prosecution Division (671) 475-3132 Provides direct services to victims of crime. Services may include case information, referrals, emotional support, or court accompaniment (if needed). Victim Advocates Reaching Out (VARO) 24 Hour Hotline: (671) 477-5552/ 647-8833 Trained volunteers respond to victims of violent crimes and their families to provide crisis intervention, information, follow-up and referral. __________________ "And why is it so many guys don't take a risk? Fear of rejection. Here's a little secret: everyone gets rejected. We're still breathing; still walking around" - Ian Coburn "Do, or do not. There is no try." - Yoda Last edited by tomb; 03-12-2007 at 03:11 AM.

03-12-2007, 06:00 AM	#3
steff Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: melbourne Australia Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 192	you know he is abusing you, and you know that no one deserves this treatment, he has no right to do this to you. what ever choice you make it will be a major choice and it will be a big deal to you, however it is your right to be treated with respect, and you are not getting it from him. i am almost 100% sure that everyone would agree with me when i say leave him. and im sure that everyone that replies to ur post will say leave him. however we can only hope that you do leave him for your sake, and that we are always here for you as someone to talk too. please take care of yourself, and think about ur safety.

03-13-2007, 03:41 AM	#4
crys81 Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 4	Get out of there now. Have you ever called the cops when he's done these things? What is making you feel like you have to stay with him?? Sometimes you need to think about yourself girlfriend. I know you think you are abandoning your family member there but you are not in a healthy situation right now. You must be a saint to have put up with that madness for 11 years.

03-21-2007, 12:08 AM	#5
Gracelove Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 1,444	I'm so sorry! Stay strong. Get out.

03-28-2007, 01:53 AM	#6
Miriverwoman Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: West Michigan Gender: Female Posts: 3	Don't they have police there? In the USA there is a domestic violence law. If you call, one of you HAS to get arrested. If he has been drinking.. he will be the one even if he says he HAS NOT hurt you. If you call, you will usually have visible signs of abuse or someone else got involved & called for you & or someone saw it happen & called for you. Yes, you have to go. He is really abusive & won't think twice about killing you. Let him kill someone else. He needs to get hit for a change. In jail, maybe he won't be such a "big " guy. You let him go too far. It sounds like you have no kids. Hopefully. You have to think of yourself & like the previous replys.. there is MUCH help out there... call now. Whose house is it? If it is your brother's.. then why isn't he sticking up for you? If it is not.. you two both leave & hurry & don't look back & do NOT EVER contact him again. Leave no trace. Start packing.. if you think he will get angry.. then get a cop to watch you do it & .........if you have more time.. get a restraining order against him first. It sounds like you have wasted much time. You need to get educated & go back to school & far away from him. There is so much help available to protect you. Please call one of those numbers that was given.. & ask... talk talk talk...go .. get ready now.