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  1. #1
    Member Hannahleh's Avatar
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    Question How long should you wait before sleeping with someone?

    Do you have any sort of rule that you follow?
    I realize it's different for everyone, but do you have a minimum time before you have sex or do you just do it when it feels right?

    I've been with guys, but I've only slept with one guy that I was actually in relationship with... Now I'm dating again, and I actually like him, so even though I wouldn't mind having sex with him now I feel like I should wait for awhile because I don't want to seem easy or anything... I'm just not sure how long.

    ....

    Also, this is off topic but I wasn't sure where it would go. Has anyone used the depo shot? If so, how did it work for you? I don't really want to go back on the pill and I like the idea of the shot if the side effects aren't too intense.
    What a wicked thing to do
    To make me dream of you
    What a wicked thing to say...
    I've never felt this way.

    And I've, never fallen in love.
    And I, wanna fall in love--
    With you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
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    I think it would be wise to wait at least a month or two before sleeping with someone. Also, it is also wise to wait till you are in a relationship before sleeping with someone, because I've learned, if you give it up too early, guys tend to not respect you and consider you to be "relationship" material.

    It's a double standard, but its out there.
    <---- sleepy Jasper

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    sleep with them whenever it feels right

    and with depo, yeah I was on it, for a few years, then I started bleedin and it wouldnt stop
    its not the greatest... talk to your doctor about it.
    Dont let the self-rightous dictate your own mind to you...

  4. #4

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    I agree with RW... the reason why I've never had sex before was because I actually haven't been in many relationships...like maybe 1 serious, and he left for a different country before we got too serious, then broke up soon after (long distance didn't work), and since then....just dated guys who i soon broke up with. There might have been sexual/physical chemistry but I knew it wouldn't last as a relationship. Should I still have had sex? Some people (many people) would have...after a few dates, would feel comfortable having it. It's a personal decision. I didn't because I wanted to be in a relationship, esp. since it's my first time....

    If it weren't my first time, I would probably have one-night stands... I know that sounds easy, but for me it's either "one night stand" or "relationship", dating doesn't so much work for me because after only a few (maybe 2 dates) I know it won't work (or it will, which is rare.) So either I'll have it based on pure sexual chemistry alone for just that, or I will wait until I'm in a steady relationship and it feels right (prob. at least a month as RW said.)

    If I just know the guy and things are 'alright', comfortable but not hot, I won't have it. This is prob. why i'm still a virgin.....so many guys fit in this category.. i just can't find any guys who are relationship material i'll prob. end up just giving it to a one-night stand when i get fed up at around 24.
    Last edited by Lily04; 03-02-2007 at 12:44 AM.

  5. #5
    Member run_little_rabbit's Avatar
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    I've been on depo for 4 years, off and on because it depletes bone mass so you can't be on for too long at a time. I love it because you only go every 3 months, I don't have a period, and I've never had any problems with it. But I've heard other people say that instead of not bleeding for 3 months, they would continually bleed until the shot wore off. It really just depends on the person so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
    "Pain is only a pulse if you just stop feeling it."

  6. #6
    Platinum Member renaissancewoman101's Avatar
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    I've learned through some past experiences as well as watching friends, that the best way to protect your heart and emotions is to WAIT before you sleep with someone and also be in a relationship before you sleep with someone, because no matter how much guys want to deny it, they do have a double standard for women and if you give it up too quickly and too soon to a guy, they WON'T see you as relationship material.

    Trust me.
    <---- sleepy Jasper

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by run_little_rabbit View Post
    I've been on depo for 4 years, off and on because it depletes bone mass so you can't be on for too long at a time. I love it because you only go every 3 months, I don't have a period, and I've never had any problems with it. But I've heard other people say that instead of not bleeding for 3 months, they would continually bleed until the shot wore off. It really just depends on the person so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
    mine was fine for 2 years... then went haywire -sigh-
    PLUS the nz health board didnt release the bone density thing for AGGGGES, which sucked for me becase I have to be carefull with that

    it is GREAT when it works, but if it doesnt go well then you ahve to wait so long!! plus, a lot of people gain a lot of weight on it.
    Dont let the self-rightous dictate your own mind to you...

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101 View Post
    I've learned through some past experiences as well as watching friends, that the best way to protect your heart and emotions is to WAIT before you sleep with someone and also be in a relationship before you sleep with someone, because no matter how much guys want to deny it, they do have a double standard for women and if you give it up too quickly and too soon to a guy, they WON'T see you as relationship material.

    Trust me.
    except if you're not looking for a relationship. If you just want a one-night stand, then go right ahead. depends what you're looking for.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Meow18's Avatar
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    My boyfriend and I waited 1 1/2 years.

    I think it's wise to wait at least a few months. You never know who the "real" person you are dating might be, which I don't believe you really know in the first couple of months, but it's still better than only waiting a week.

    But having sex has too many consequences to just be doing it a person that you don't really know yet. At least in my opinion.

    I have a friend who's girlfriend got pregnant after 3 months of being together. Let's just say, she isn't the person he thought he knew and lied to him throughout the whole pregnancy, and now lies in court.. and now he only gets to see his baby once a week for 2 hours due to visitation rights because she refuses to let him see his child any other time.. and that kills him.

    And building good communication before sex is important too in my opinion because you want to be able to be open and honest about it.
    *Committing your love to someone means losing the chance to experience another person's love. So just be sure the person you are committed to deserves your love or else itís not worth the sacrifice.

    *Forget who hurt you yesterday, but don't forget who loves you today.

  10. #10
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    If she's hot, and I got condoms ready, that's reason enough for me to have sex with her on the first date.

    But I'm a stereotypical horny male........don't listen to me

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