Women go for personality over looks ?

onlineguy · 02-23-2007, 07:37 AM

Hi guys.

I read somewhere that unlike guys who are very visual and go for looks, then personality. Women on the other hand are more atracted to a guys personality than his looks ?

So a question for the femails out there, is this true ?

Also we all like to be found atractive by the opposite sex, it makes us feel good. But we want to be desired / attactive to someone who is of value to us.

In the case of guys a good looking girl with a good friendly nice personality.

But in the case of women, what traits are considered to be of value to a girl, so that she will want the guy to find her attractive and see him as a boyfriend prospect. As opposed to just a nice guy ?

What makes him more of value to her than anyone else ?

blue-eyedspacemonkey · 02-23-2007, 07:50 AM

See, I go for personality over looks all the time. There are people I've fallen for and, if I just passed them in the street, I wouldn't give them a second glance, but, because I've got to know them and they have a great personality I'm like, 'yeah, you're quite atrractive to me now'

I think all women are different in terms of what floats their boat. In my case it's (in no particular order):
Intelligence, with the ability to hold a good convo
The ability to make me laugh with him, not as much at him
Kindness/generosity
things like that.

Hope this helps!

lizziebee · 02-23-2007, 08:28 AM

Personality is what will get me every time....AND VIP a fantastic sense of humor! The best looking guy in the world could saunter over, open his mouth to speak and all I hear is white noise....Communication is sexy, the how the why and the way you do it is what attracts people and keeps them interested. I have seriously dated fat guys, bald guys, old guys and all of them were funny and witty, in tune with what was going on in the world, loving and sweet, and in short, they were interesting. The best way to meet the person you think you seek is to not put a "face" on them before you meet them...

**annie24** · 02-23-2007, 08:35 AM

i don't think that you can generalize 50% of the population. everyone is different. I'd say that I still go for looks first, then personality. i mean, both are very important, but if i don't like the way a guy looks, there is no shot at a romance. even if he is the greatest guy ever.

Batya33 · 02-23-2007, 08:39 AM

I agree with the others - personality enhances looks or detracts from it. In addition to a man of character and integrity (and compassion) I also go for extremely bright (socially, academically, emotionally, common sense-wise, the package), witty (a sense of humor compatible with mine - we "get" each other), reasonably confident/assertive, someone who likes banter, someone cultured, sophisticated, and someone with a bit of a "dares to be different" streak.

"nice" and "friendly" sounds a bit too much to me like a warm puppy. I like someone who keeps me on my toes a bit and who wants me to keep him on his toes.

As far as the "above all others" that is all about the click - chemistry in your personalities - as opposed to "hmm, he is brighter/funnier/friendlier than the other guys" - that can be difficult to quantify - or impossible -- and really it's irrelevant.

RogerRamjet · 02-23-2007, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annie24

i don't think that you can generalize 50% of the population. everyone is different. I'd say that I still go for looks first, then personality. i mean, both are very important, but if i don't like the way a guy looks, there is no shot at a romance. even if he is the greatest guy ever.

Which is why, if a girl does not immediately show signs of interest in you, she never will. I mean she might, but to get to that point will be pushing **** up hill.

The world never rewards hard work it will reward smart work. Be smart !!!

**arwen** · 02-23-2007, 09:07 AM

Intelligence, humor, committed, passionate... looks are also important but it's so subjective. I would never have even kissed one man that chased me for a while in the past, while most girls would almost faint when seeing him

Arwen

RayKay · 02-23-2007, 09:18 AM

I have to be attracted to him - but what "look" attracts me will not be what attracts another. I don't go for "model-types" at all for example. I actually prefer men with some quirk about them that makes them unique physically for example.

But, yes, personality is #1 for me. Whatever a man looks like, his personality is what enhances of detracts the attractiveness. Intelligence, humour, respect, positivity, these are all things that go towards attraction for me plus many more! I like people with their own mind, opinions, curiousity and so on.

If someone is ugly on the inside in how they treat others, or just someone whom drags you down when around....it won't work. Even if they are supposedly physically attractive.

Daligal83 · 02-23-2007, 09:50 AM

I think the thing with a lot of women is that our attraction to a guy can change..or maybe that's just me. Everyone has an immediate level of attraction when you first meet, but at least for me that level can change depending on the guy's personality. Like some other posters said, you can find a guy really attractive right off the bat, but if as soon as he speaks he's a jerk or not very intelligent or too full of himself, he definitely won't be as attractive. It works the other way too.

Northalius · 02-23-2007, 09:54 AM

If this is true, then I truly must be a rare breed of straight male. lol

I was just watching a video on a forum of this girl who was really humorous, acted cute, and other traits I like in a woman; but physically, she was not on the same level as the personality, at least compared to what most who watched the video said. They actually said she was ugly; she had these weird 1950s styled glasses on (I can see past glasses...), and they said she had a bigger nose than usual, etc. etc.

But, I didn't say she was ugly. I thought they were ignorant for saying such a thing. Now, obviously, I'll be totally honest, she wasn't a Jennifer Aniston, but her personality made me really like her a lot. She wasn't ugly, but maybe a bit below average. Still, again, her personality is what made her shine, and I'd have not minded going out on a date with her at all, if there was the chance to.

It's all in how you word it, as well. If statistics truly do show that a majority of men will pick looks over personality, then instead of bluntly stating "Men go for looks, women go for personality.", it'd be better to say "According to a pole, the majority of men choose looks over personality; whereas women look more for personality, over looks. Keep in mind, not all women and men! But just a majority! And just because a majority, doesn't have to mean overwhelming majority! It could be 55% or 60%; thus, 40-45% of 2-3 billion is still a lot of men and women that say differently!"

A physically very attractive woman with a snobby, stuckup, mean attitude, will make me turn the other way in a heartbeat. It literally makes her look ugly to me, if her personality is ugly. That's just how I am.

02-23-2007, 07:50 AM	#2
blue-eyedspacemonkey Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Aberystwyth, Wales, UK Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 87	See, I go for personality over looks all the time. There are people I've fallen for and, if I just passed them in the street, I wouldn't give them a second glance, but, because I've got to know them and they have a great personality I'm like, 'yeah, you're quite atrractive to me now' I think all women are different in terms of what floats their boat. In my case it's (in no particular order): Intelligence, with the ability to hold a good convo The ability to make me laugh with him, not as much at him Kindness/generosity things like that. Hope this helps! __________________ Love must not entreat, or demand. Love must have the strength to become certain within itself. Then, it ceases merely to be attracted and begins to attract. Hermann Hesse

02-23-2007, 08:28 AM	#3
lizziebee Offline Silver Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: manageable limbo Gender: Female Posts: 356	Personality is what will get me every time....AND VIP a fantastic sense of humor! The best looking guy in the world could saunter over, open his mouth to speak and all I hear is white noise....Communication is sexy, the how the why and the way you do it is what attracts people and keeps them interested. I have seriously dated fat guys, bald guys, old guys and all of them were funny and witty, in tune with what was going on in the world, loving and sweet, and in short, they were interesting. The best way to meet the person you think you seek is to not put a "face" on them before you meet them... __________________ "Some's don't know better might mistake me for being on the outside, looking in. Then you got your idle snatch readin' scripture. And know there's still hope." "I ain't pissed off. I'm in wonderment. I'm waiting to be kept happy by another fairytale."

02-23-2007, 08:39 AM	#5
Batya33 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,059	I agree with the others - personality enhances looks or detracts from it. In addition to a man of character and integrity (and compassion) I also go for extremely bright (socially, academically, emotionally, common sense-wise, the package), witty (a sense of humor compatible with mine - we "get" each other), reasonably confident/assertive, someone who likes banter, someone cultured, sophisticated, and someone with a bit of a "dares to be different" streak. "nice" and "friendly" sounds a bit too much to me like a warm puppy. I like someone who keeps me on my toes a bit and who wants me to keep him on his toes. As far as the "above all others" that is all about the click - chemistry in your personalities - as opposed to "hmm, he is brighter/funnier/friendlier than the other guys" - that can be difficult to quantify - or impossible -- and really it's irrelevant. Last edited by Batya33; 02-23-2007 at 08:43 AM.

02-23-2007, 09:07 AM	#7
arwen Online Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The Netherlands Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 5,396	Intelligence, humor, committed, passionate... looks are also important but it's so subjective. I would never have even kissed one man that chased me for a while in the past, while most girls would almost faint when seeing him Arwen __________________ You always* have a choice.* 11 February 2010: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]* is due!* Please see the forum rules for posting on enotalone.com

02-23-2007, 09:18 AM	#8
RayKay Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Middle of Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 13,270	I have to be attracted to him - but what "look" attracts me will not be what attracts another. I don't go for "model-types" at all for example. I actually prefer men with some quirk about them that makes them unique physically for example. But, yes, personality is #1 for me. Whatever a man looks like, his personality is what enhances of detracts the attractiveness. Intelligence, humour, respect, positivity, these are all things that go towards attraction for me plus many more! I like people with their own mind, opinions, curiousity and so on. If someone is ugly on the inside in how they treat others, or just someone whom drags you down when around....it won't work. Even if they are supposedly physically attractive. __________________ [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]<--- [COLOR=sienna]Carbun the Super-Bunny[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#556b2f][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of... [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- My Biggest Hero and Mentor: My Mum.[/SIZE][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=orange][B]Il faut d'abord durer [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- Ernest Hemingway[/SIZE][/I]

02-23-2007, 07:37 AM	#1
onlineguy Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 108	Women go for personality over looks ? Hi guys. I read somewhere that unlike guys who are very visual and go for looks, then personality. Women on the other hand are more atracted to a guys personality than his looks ? So a question for the femails out there, is this true ? Also we all like to be found atractive by the opposite sex, it makes us feel good. But we want to be desired / attactive to someone who is of value to us. In the case of guys a good looking girl with a good friendly nice personality. But in the case of women, what traits are considered to be of value to a girl, so that she will want the guy to find her attractive and see him as a boyfriend prospect. As opposed to just a nice guy ? What makes him more of value to her than anyone else ? Last edited by onlineguy; 02-23-2007 at 07:40 AM.

02-23-2007, 08:35 AM	#4
annie24 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	i don't think that you can generalize 50% of the population. everyone is different. I'd say that I still go for looks first, then personality. i mean, both are very important, but if i don't like the way a guy looks, there is no shot at a romance. even if he is the greatest guy ever.

02-23-2007, 09:50 AM	#9
Daligal83 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 3,031	I think the thing with a lot of women is that our attraction to a guy can change..or maybe that's just me. Everyone has an immediate level of attraction when you first meet, but at least for me that level can change depending on the guy's personality. Like some other posters said, you can find a guy really attractive right off the bat, but if as soon as he speaks he's a jerk or not very intelligent or too full of himself, he definitely won't be as attractive. It works the other way too. __________________ Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it. ~Salvador Dali~ "If you can't trust, then you can't be trusted" -Ben Folds

02-23-2007, 09:54 AM	#10
Northalius Offline Silver Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia, United States Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 345	If this is true, then I truly must be a rare breed of straight male. lol I was just watching a video on a forum of this girl who was really humorous, acted cute, and other traits I like in a woman; but physically, she was not on the same level as the personality, at least compared to what most who watched the video said. They actually said she was ugly; she had these weird 1950s styled glasses on (I can see past glasses...), and they said she had a bigger nose than usual, etc. etc. But, I didn't say she was ugly. I thought they were ignorant for saying such a thing. Now, obviously, I'll be totally honest, she wasn't a Jennifer Aniston, but her personality made me really like her a lot. She wasn't ugly, but maybe a bit below average. Still, again, her personality is what made her shine, and I'd have not minded going out on a date with her at all, if there was the chance to. It's all in how you word it, as well. If statistics truly do show that a majority of men will pick looks over personality, then instead of bluntly stating "Men go for looks, women go for personality.", it'd be better to say "According to a pole, the majority of men choose looks over personality; whereas women look more for personality, over looks. Keep in mind, not all women and men! But just a majority! And just because a majority, doesn't have to mean overwhelming majority! It could be 55% or 60%; thus, 40-45% of 2-3 billion is still a lot of men and women that say differently!" A physically very attractive woman with a snobby, stuckup, mean attitude, will make me turn the other way in a heartbeat. It literally makes her look ugly to me, if her personality is ugly. That's just how I am.