Replacing Mother

Hubbys_glitter_is_gold · 02-22-2007, 02:08 PM

I just want to know if im alone in this or are there any other people out there who feels the same way?!

I think in a commited long term relationship that the women/wife is sort of replacing the mother or taking on her position in the mans life. If you havent noticed that in ALL GOOD women, they do the cleaning, the cooking, give him the love, care, and affection that he acquires, they do the worrying and concerning about there man.. Just like the mother use to do when he was growing up. Me, myself feel that women suppose to take on these responsibilities. Im not saying that a womans place is always constantly in a home but the domestic housework should be a priority. I feel that men should be somewhat lazy around the house but at the same time help out. some things should be 50/50. I mean if a couple days out of the week he wants to do something special by doing the work for you while you relax then thats fine too, i wont argue with that. But a happy man is a faithful man. I havent completely had the chance to do all these things with my b/f yet because of LDR but i will and he's already loving the idea of it.

If you feel that you have something to say on this subject say it, anything, men and women.....voice your opinions and lets have a worldwide discussion on it.....

Scout · 02-22-2007, 02:23 PM

Hmmm...I have found the kinds of guys who actually appreciate it when you do things like that are the ones that don't necessarily assume or expect it's a woman's place to. It's the ones who will tell you your place is in the kitchen who won't ever thank you for a nicely cooked meal!

So, while I like taking care of my boyfriend in terms of cooking, I wouldn't do it if he was a neanderthal who expected me to. I only enjoy playing some traditional roles if it's not required of me to do so.

But that's because I never liked being told I'm "supposed" to do or be something.

agent · 02-22-2007, 02:29 PM

I feel that if a man is mature enough to be in a committed relationship, it's with someone who is his equal and not another mother.

I don't believe in traditional domestic roles, I believe that housework be split 50/50. Two people live in it, two people take care of it.

I'mThatGirl · 02-22-2007, 02:30 PM

I respect your opinion Hubbys but have a couple points to make.

I would love to do everything for my husband (if I ever get one.)

But in today's world, it's not 100% feasible. Back in the day when women got to stay home to tend to the house and children, yes, I'd definitely agree with you.
However, women now have to work. Work 40 hours a week plus lunch hour and drive and then take care of children and then do EVERYTHING around the house while a guy sits his bum on the couch for the evening. Nope. .

I need a guy that will allow me to do things for him and around the house. A guy that shows his appreciation in little ways rather than just expecting it. A guy that will dig in and help me with things so we can relax "together."

Just my opinion... I don't want a guy to do everything or even 50/50 all the time but I won't be a girl that can sit comfy with a guy rarely helping.

Hubbys_glitter_is_gold · 02-22-2007, 03:07 PM

yea.. i shouldve been a little more specific. I do mean a man that is worth the trouble of doing all that for. I hate being told what to do but it feels good to do it for a MAN that appreciates it and notices it and if you ask him to do something he is more than happy to get off his tush and do it for you. I work and all i didnt mean not work at all just be completely at the house, not at all.. But i think that GOOD men are meant and deserve to be spoiled. i absolutely enjoy doing that for deserving ppl and ppl that completely appreciates you and what you do and does little special things for you and you two can relax together, eat together and other things like that.. Im talking about having everything done and did by the time he gets home, if you dont work during the day or on that particular day. Like my guy i mean were not married but when i go visit him, i stay in his dorm with him and before he gets out of class his little room is cleaned for him and he greatly appreciates that and let it be known.. IF he ever just bark a command at me then ill tell him he can get it himself.lol.. thats when you say.. what i look like the maid..

Hubbys_glitter_is_gold · 02-22-2007, 03:24 PM

im glad im not the only one. My moms raised me old fashioned too and being from south Carolina we are built on southern hospitality you know and we are taught to..lack of a better word.. cater to ppl.. im not all that wrapped around that because some ppl dont deserve it but even though me and my guy have been through alot over a period of 5 years he definately deserves the treatment i give him and will be giving him when i transfer from my school to his school next spring or this summer either/or. But glasses up to all the REAL men that deserve such treatment, and glasses up to the REAL women who gives it to them..

Hubbys_glitter_is_gold · 02-22-2007, 07:11 PM

I guess no one else agrees with this.. Not even the men are speaking on the subject. this sucks..

southerngirl · 02-22-2007, 09:51 PM

I want to be my husbands partner, his equal, his bestfriend, his lover.... definately not his mother.

Hubbys_glitter_is_gold · 02-23-2007, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southerngirl

I want to be my husbands partner, his equal, his bestfriend, his lover.... definately not his mother.

Its not really being his mother, its taking on motherly responsibilities. Like i explained in almost all my posts..

the empty drawer · 02-24-2007, 12:17 AM

Actually I always thought that was what both people in a relationship did for each other no matter what gender a person was, you do for their partner (to a point of course) the things they have not done for themselves but have had done for them. And its that equally beneficial give and take that can help make a strong relationship. If its not equally beneficial than its not fair, thus past the "to a point" I just said. Way easier to say than to do, but thats my hope of what to get out of a relationship because I know there are some things I have not and will not do and would expect my man to do for me so in turn I would love to bestow whatever I can give to him.

02-22-2007, 02:08 PM	#1
Hubbys_glitter_is_gold Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: SC Gender: Female Posts: 74	MEN AND WOMEN INPUT..I know we're not the only ones. I just want to know if im alone in this or are there any other people out there who feels the same way?! I think in a commited long term relationship that the women/wife is sort of replacing the mother or taking on her position in the mans life. If you havent noticed that in ALL GOOD women, they do the cleaning, the cooking, give him the love, care, and affection that he acquires, they do the worrying and concerning about there man.. Just like the mother use to do when he was growing up. Me, myself feel that women suppose to take on these responsibilities. Im not saying that a womans place is always constantly in a home but the domestic housework should be a priority. I feel that men should be somewhat lazy around the house but at the same time help out. some things should be 50/50. I mean if a couple days out of the week he wants to do something special by doing the work for you while you relax then thats fine too, i wont argue with that. But a happy man is a faithful man. I havent completely had the chance to do all these things with my b/f yet because of LDR but i will and he's already loving the idea of it. If you feel that you have something to say on this subject say it, anything, men and women.....voice your opinions and lets have a worldwide discussion on it..... __________________ "Its better to have love and lost than to not have loved at all" "The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing" Last edited by Hubbys_glitter_is_gold; 02-22-2007 at 07:04 PM. Reason: title wasnt catching attention

02-22-2007, 02:23 PM	#2
Scout Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Colorado Gender: Female Age: 40 Posts: 7,288	Hmmm...I have found the kinds of guys who actually appreciate it when you do things like that are the ones that don't necessarily assume or expect it's a woman's place to. It's the ones who will tell you your place is in the kitchen who won't ever thank you for a nicely cooked meal! So, while I like taking care of my boyfriend in terms of cooking, I wouldn't do it if he was a neanderthal who expected me to. I only enjoy playing some traditional roles if it's not required of me to do so. But that's because I never liked being told I'm "supposed" to do or be something. __________________ If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise. * * * One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie * * * Bob Ross rules! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOpF_ZGD4Ps

02-22-2007, 02:29 PM	#3
agent Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 3,891	I feel that if a man is mature enough to be in a committed relationship, it's with someone who is his equal and not another mother. I don't believe in traditional domestic roles, I believe that housework be split 50/50. Two people live in it, two people take care of it. __________________ "You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too." - Anais Nin "Come now, don't make such a funeral face. It isn't dying that's sad; it's living when you're not happy." -Octave Mirbeau "Don't be sad, don't be angry, if life deceives you! Submit to your grief; your time for joy will come, believe me." -Aleksandr Pushkin

02-22-2007, 02:30 PM	#4
I'mThatGirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Somewhere Out There Gender: Female Age: 31 Posts: 4,873	I respect your opinion Hubbys but have a couple points to make. I would love to do everything for my husband (if I ever get one.) But in today's world, it's not 100% feasible. Back in the day when women got to stay home to tend to the house and children, yes, I'd definitely agree with you. However, women now have to work. Work 40 hours a week plus lunch hour and drive and then take care of children and then do EVERYTHING around the house while a guy sits his bum on the couch for the evening. Nope. . I need a guy that will allow me to do things for him and around the house. A guy that shows his appreciation in little ways rather than just expecting it. A guy that will dig in and help me with things so we can relax "together." Just my opinion... I don't want a guy to do everything or even 50/50 all the time but I won't be a girl that can sit comfy with a guy rarely helping. __________________ Never make someone your priority when they only make you their option. Never waste time on someone not willing to waste or share time with you. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein Wonder of these days.... how do they sleep at night? How? Is there something I'm missing? In search of. . . . understanding I guess.

02-22-2007, 03:07 PM	#5
Hubbys_glitter_is_gold Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: SC Gender: Female Posts: 74	yea.. i shouldve been a little more specific. I do mean a man that is worth the trouble of doing all that for. I hate being told what to do but it feels good to do it for a MAN that appreciates it and notices it and if you ask him to do something he is more than happy to get off his tush and do it for you. I work and all i didnt mean not work at all just be completely at the house, not at all.. But i think that GOOD men are meant and deserve to be spoiled. i absolutely enjoy doing that for deserving ppl and ppl that completely appreciates you and what you do and does little special things for you and you two can relax together, eat together and other things like that.. Im talking about having everything done and did by the time he gets home, if you dont work during the day or on that particular day. Like my guy i mean were not married but when i go visit him, i stay in his dorm with him and before he gets out of class his little room is cleaned for him and he greatly appreciates that and let it be known.. IF he ever just bark a command at me then ill tell him he can get it himself.lol.. thats when you say.. what i look like the maid.. __________________ "Its better to have love and lost than to not have loved at all" "The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing"

02-22-2007, 03:24 PM	#6
Hubbys_glitter_is_gold Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: SC Gender: Female Posts: 74	im glad im not the only one. My moms raised me old fashioned too and being from south Carolina we are built on southern hospitality you know and we are taught to..lack of a better word.. cater to ppl.. im not all that wrapped around that because some ppl dont deserve it but even though me and my guy have been through alot over a period of 5 years he definately deserves the treatment i give him and will be giving him when i transfer from my school to his school next spring or this summer either/or. But glasses up to all the REAL men that deserve such treatment, and glasses up to the REAL women who gives it to them.. __________________ "Its better to have love and lost than to not have loved at all" "The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing"

02-22-2007, 07:11 PM	#7
Hubbys_glitter_is_gold Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: SC Gender: Female Posts: 74	I guess no one else agrees with this.. Not even the men are speaking on the subject. this sucks.. __________________ "Its better to have love and lost than to not have loved at all" "The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing"

02-22-2007, 09:51 PM	#8
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,030	I want to be my husbands partner, his equal, his bestfriend, his lover.... definately not his mother. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

02-24-2007, 12:17 AM	#10
the empty drawer Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 58	Actually I always thought that was what both people in a relationship did for each other no matter what gender a person was, you do for their partner (to a point of course) the things they have not done for themselves but have had done for them. And its that equally beneficial give and take that can help make a strong relationship. If its not equally beneficial than its not fair, thus past the "to a point" I just said. Way easier to say than to do, but thats my hope of what to get out of a relationship because I know there are some things I have not and will not do and would expect my man to do for me so in turn I would love to bestow whatever I can give to him.