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  1. #1
    Member greg vs greg's Avatar
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    Good looking shy guys

    I don't mean to be big headed but i'm a good looking guy. I'm 22, over 6' in height, athletic build and a decent face. On the other hand i'm a virgin, have little confidence, terrified of confrontation and prone to bouts of depression thanks to my total lack of a social life (something i'm trying to remedy). I'm a wimp basically. I hide it as best i can and most people probably see me as a 'nice guy'. I've never said a bad word to anyone in my entire life.

    So do looks really count for anything when confidence is low? There are so many guys out there doing fun and interesting things like going on holidays, going to parties, playing musical instruments etc. What chance does the boring guy have?

  2. #2
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    Hi Greg

    I have to say, from my own perspective, that looks count for very little. Intelligence and a sense of humour are my big turn ons!

    However, just because your confidence is low does not mean that you dont have all of the above - and good looks are a bonus lol

    As for your reference to yourself being boring - NO human being is boring!!

    Dont judge yourself by what you see in the mirror!

    Take Care
    Crystal

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    yeah, looks count to a certain extent
    once people get to know you, do you open up? if not, you will be deemed as boring and it wont matter what you look like...

    LOVE the avatar, btw
    Dont let the self-rightous dictate your own mind to you...

  4. #4
    Member greg vs greg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eva:Gina View Post
    once people get to know you, do you open up?
    I suppose i do come to think of it, but it takes a while lol.

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  6. #5

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    well....i'd say you are ahead of the game myself. It sure beats being ugly and unattractive. Most people are genuinely nice to attractive people, with you having the definite advantage over the average guy/girl.
    Why don't you take advantage of your assets? Why don't you take up a hobby that interests you? You could certainly learn to play an instrument, there are music stores in most cities that would gladly teach you...
    Or where do you interests lie?
    Geez... I'd give my eye teeth to be thought of as attractive. Most guys just ignore me.......and I have a really nice, sweet personality...
    It doesn't seem to matter how nice you are in this day and age... Everyone seems to go for the "good-looking" people.
    You can also get away with all kinds of stuff that most average people cannot!
    You can be a total jerk to a girl, and she will lots of times still forgive you, just cuz you are good-looking.
    Must be nice.....

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by greg vs greg View Post
    I don't mean to be big headed but i'm a good looking guy. I'm 22, over 6' in height, athletic build and a decent face. On the other hand i'm a virgin, have little confidence, terrified of confrontation and prone to bouts of depression thanks to my total lack of a social life (something i'm trying to remedy). I'm a wimp basically. I hide it as best i can and most people probably see me as a 'nice guy'. I've never said a bad word to anyone in my entire life.

    So do looks really count for anything when confidence is low? There are so many guys out there doing fun and interesting things like going on holidays, going to parties, playing musical instruments etc. What chance does the boring guy have?
    These traits actually quite often go with good looks. It's a physcological thing that has a few layers to it. Good looks are as often as not a curse as well as a blessing.

    Thought about martial arts for the confidence thing? After a year, you'll feel like it's magic.
    Also, confidence comes from hard work and experience and practise. So get busy. The confident guys were probably shy once, they're just a bit ahead of you that's all.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member pianoguy's Avatar
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    Hi Greg,

    Looks do count for something, I think, not everything, but something. Feel free to sample any random thread here to see literally hundreds of guys and girls complaining that no one dates them because they're ugly. It's a bit funny really- these people say that they have these great personalities and nobody dates them because they look bad, and you say that you look great but nobody dates you because of your personality... who knows.

    Do you really think of yourself as boring? Very few people are truly boring, except some of the people in my dorm. Can you tell me something about you that you think makes you interesting, or that you find interesting?

    Can you tell me specifically why you think you're a wimp and what would remedy that? Again, I think you're rushing to conclusions here when you think that people perceive you in a certain way, especially if you're tall and athletic I doubt people look at you as wimpy. Tall quiet guy = gentle giant = teddy bear = hot.
    "A productive and happy life is not something you find. It is something you make." Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    "Be kind. Everyone you meet is engaged in a great struggle." -Plato

    "I have sad misgivings that I shall never find any consolation in life save in music" - Bela Bartok

  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by greg vs greg View Post
    So do looks really count for anything when confidence is low? There are so many guys out there doing fun and interesting things like going on holidays, going to parties, playing musical instruments etc. What chance does the boring guy have?
    I would say to not worry about whether you do something like playing a musical instrument, because it does not get you anywhere with the ladies, regardless of what common folklore suggests. The musical guys who are seen getting together with lots of women would still be successful with women if they did not play an instrument. And an unattractive, shy guy who is a terrific musician will sit in the corner alone with his instrument, while a good-looking and personable guy who plays an instrument poorly or not at all will be smothered in women.

    af
    http://www.aloneforever.net

  10. #9
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    Just because you're shy doesn't mean youre boring or a wimp. try doing something you enjoy - you might meet people there who have the same interests as you which would definitely help.

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by greg vs greg View Post
    I don't mean to be big headed but i'm a good looking guy. I'm 22, over 6' in height, athletic build and a decent face. On the other hand i'm a virgin, have little confidence, terrified of confrontation and prone to bouts of depression thanks to my total lack of a social life (something i'm trying to remedy). I'm a wimp basically. I hide it as best i can and most people probably see me as a 'nice guy'. I've never said a bad word to anyone in my entire life.

    So do looks really count for anything when confidence is low? There are so many guys out there doing fun and interesting things like going on holidays, going to parties, playing musical instruments etc. What chance does the boring guy have?
    You're not boring. I don't even know you, but I say that with confidence. I used to be a shy guy too, and I've gotten over that, I'm more friendly now. I'm still not good at approaching women, but I've improved a bit. I know how it feels. Just because you're quiet or shy does not make you an uninteresting person. I don't think that this is a good perception to have. Being shy is not such a bad thing. I think that, when you meet someone, it's going to be someone that is genuinely interested in you and hopefully it turns out well. While it would be great if you could improve your shyness as I did, not everyone can, and you don't have to, if it's who you are. Just because you can't play the guitar and you don't party five nights a week doesn't make you boring, it just makes you different, and I think different is good.

    I guess I see in you the opposite of what I see in myself. I feel like I have a great personality and no physical attractiveness. Now, I don't know if either of those are true, but I just noticed that you seem to be in an opposing situation, and I can feel your pain. Go on what you've got, and try to improve your self image just as I am trying to improve mine. I think you're going to end up happy.

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