Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25
  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    33

    Arranged Wedding - The First Night Being Together

    Just wondering what you would do.

    Scenario:

    You are getting married to a lady who you have only seen pictures of and heard stories about from family members. You are getting warm to her. You have had a prior relationship and it did not work out and so you know this will be the best, both religion, culture and personal self. She is nice, warm hearted and you know she is safe (i.e. trustworthy). You both have not met (yet) but you ache to meet her.

    On comes the wedding, which is done in a foreign country as that is where she is based (after marriage you will arrange for her to come back to the UK). Anyway, You both sit next to each other for the first time in the wedding reception (due to religion, culture etc). You both are happy, but at the same time nervous. Moving quickly on. Now comes the time when everyone else leaves, the wedding music dies down, the last conversations of the day end with relatives and you two (bride and groom) are sent to your decorated room (large bed, flowers, warm etc etc). It is THE WEDDING NIGHT, the "honey moon" so to speak. You don't know each other etc.

    What would you do? You have waited for this time for a long time. You know that the first time you have sex you want it to be special but you also dont know this lady fully, you dont know what she expects but you know that she is shy and that she will not say "lets have sex, or why didnt we have sex etc". You know that she will be a virgin too, due to religion, culture etc. So she may not be fully sexually aware as you are. You also dont want to upset her, do dissapoint her -you dont know if she would be expecting to have sex tonight (wedding night). You want her to be happy. You want her to have everything you would want. She is afterall now your wife.

    What would you do? Again, would you wait, just talk and get to know each other and once you go on a "true" honey moon somewhere have great sex?

    Again lol what would you do.
    Last edited by mysteryman22; 01-21-2007 at 11:22 AM.

  2. #2
    zerohalo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    312
    Gender
    Male
    That is a really unusual question. If I had just met my uh... wife... I would most definitely not want to have sex on that first night. I can't even believe the amount of stress I would be feeling, not to mention what she would be feeling. I'd probably want to talk to her a little bit, find out what her favorite food/drink is and get that from room service just to make her feel more comfortable, then keep getting to know her.

    I really don't think sex would be on my plate for a while, I might not even like this woman. I've gotta know, why do you ask? Are you in this situation or are we talking hypothetical?

  3. #3
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    759
    I don't think that the other party would want/expect sex. If it were me, I'd stay up all night drinking and talking to her to really get to know her. If things started moving, I'd make a move... otherwise I'd go "im tired, i'm out"

  4. #4
    HellFrost666's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Planet Marclar
    Posts
    2,055
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by zerohalo View Post
    That is a really unusual question. If I had just met my uh... wife... I would most definitely not want to have sex on that first night. I can't even believe the amount of stress I would be feeling, not to mention what she would be feeling. I'd probably want to talk to her a little bit, find out what her favorite food/drink is and get that from room service just to make her feel more comfortable, then keep getting to know her.

    I really don't think sex would be on my plate for a while, I might not even like this woman. I've gotta know, why do you ask? Are you in this situation or are we talking hypothetical?
    I tought the saem thing exactly... There should be some conection first before you go jumping in the sack.

    My girlfriend works with a guy from India who just went over there to be married to a stranger.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    1,029
    Hi,

    Well it looks like the hardest compatibility battles are done:

    both religion, culture and personal self
    But since you don't know her, I'd say make a connection and build a relationship first, but if you guys really hit it off on day 1 then why not?

  6. #6
    Bronze Member gfein347's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    A state of confusion and indecision
    Posts
    175
    Gender
    Male
    Well, if it were me, I'd do everything I could to avoid being in this situation to begin with. However, if it somehow happened, sex wouldn't be on my mind for awhile. I don't think there's anyway I could have sex with someone I barely know.

    Also, I was thinking the same thing as Halo: is this hypothetical, or are you facing a situation like the one in your question?
    Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
    Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    finally moving from Ca. Yes!!!
    Posts
    1,275
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by gfein347 View Post

    Also, I was thinking the same thing as Halo: is this hypothetical, or are you facing a situation like the one in your question?

    Is this a real life situation?

  8. 01-21-2007, 03:10 PM

  9. #8

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Northwestern USA
    Age
    46
    Posts
    946
    Gender
    Male
    Not sure. I might want to date my new wife for a while first. You don't have to do it the first night. There's no rule that says so.

    One of my Cambodian friends had an arranged marriage and both he and his wife were virgins and they were both freaked out and scared about the wedding night. They were acquaintances at least. Not total strangers. It seems like a frightening scenario and all to real for millions of people around the world.

    They got through it somehow. Their first night? I don't know. I never asked and I never will.

    My cousins are so proper that they probably all had to deal with something similar to this on their wedding night. i.e. - never touched each other before, well not beyond holding hands or a hug. Some of them picked their marriage partners, but others were picked by their father (a preacher). Yipes. However, they did at least know each other well before getting married and they all had veto power to the marriage, and some used it too.
    Last edited by charley; 01-21-2007 at 04:24 PM.

  10. #9

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    finally moving from Ca. Yes!!!
    Posts
    1,275
    Gender
    Female
    Wow, it's hard to believe arrange marriage are still around.

  11. #10
    zerohalo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    312
    Gender
    Male
    I know what you mean, grl. I recently became aware that they still exist and I was very surprised.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
One of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life are failed relationships. Making a relationship work is one of the most important life ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It has been universally acknowledged that having a long distance relationship is not such a good idea, especially if there is no known end-date to ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
Call
$1.99/minute
25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE. Restore the joy of your relationship by alleviating sexual dissatisfaction, dysfunction and a wide variety of sexual challenges."generously affordable"
Online
Chat
$3.49/minute
A lot of people have trouble in their sex lives but almost all these problems can be solved. Talk with a friendly non-judgemental Therapist about it and improve your life!
Online
CallChat
$2.67/minute
Licensed MSW LCSW, Trained and mentored by Internationally known Sex Expert. 30 yrs experience. Open, safe and non-judgmental.
Online
Call
$2.2/minute
There are wide variety of sexual related issues. Ask, talk about anything;I'm very open and have helped people with large range of concerns from sexual techniques to emotional
Online
Chat
$2.39/minute
We are taught such precious little about sex and the relationship between our body and our mind. yet we are sexual beings, in physical bodies. Contact me. I can help.