Depressed + Lonely

Hey enotaloners, over the past few months I've slowly became depressed and lonely.

This is my current lifestyle:

Wake up at 5pm. Eat. Surf internet/play games. Eat. More boring stuff. Eat. Sleep at 6am.

I never thought I was the type to think about suicide but I'm beginning to understand people think about it. Sometimes when I'm driving I think about just speeding right into a lamppost etc. (Not that I would ever do it, I just think about it.)

I only have one friend and we're not real close. I hardly ever go out and socialize with people apart from when I go to work - I just talk to people the minimum amount to get by. It's been 3 months since I've felt any real connection with anyone. I feel so lonely and disconnected from everyone.

I can't remember the last time I stepped outside in the daytime apart from to go to work.

I'm so scared that I'm wasting my life. I see all these other people doing great things with their lives and it breaks my heart that I'm not one of them. I see people travelling and having fun and I feel depressed that I'm missing out. In school they always said that I had so much potential and that makes me feel even worse about myself because I know I'm not living the life I should be.

The worst part is that I have no motivation to do anything while I feel this way. I think about doing things but I don't feel like socializing etc while I'm depressed because it just makes me feel worse.

I'd love it if you could give me advice people, and maybe make me feel a little better.

Thanks

eviljedi

What makes anyone great? Money? Intellect? Beauty? No. What sets the successful and unsuccessful apart is Motivation. You find that, then you have found a purpose in life.

It's a chicken or egg situation.

Which causes what?

You live a boring life because you aren't motivated because you live a boring life...

Do you need someone to say go out and live a better life, walk, talk do something fun even if you have to fake it?

Ever notice how being depressed makes tou withdrw into yourself? That's exactly the wrong thing to do.

Get out and talk to people, ask them what they're doing. Get outside yourself.

I'm actually in a pretty similar situation. Not depressed (usually), but lonely. What I've done is set long-term goals for myself, and focused on those. For example, I'm currently taking classes at a university, and I'm working towards grad school. I'm going to try changing where I live, and I'm also going to put effort into other goals that I've always thought about doing (but never actually did).

If you keep doing the same things over and over again, you'll get the same results. Just try changing things a little at a time.. do you have a dream job that you've always wanted? What about taking classes at a university? Do you have any talents or hobbies? If you think about.. if this is your low point.. then you can only go up from here. Everyone has to have a low point at some time in their lives. Yours is just coming sooner than later. Just find something that you want to achieve, and go for it.

I've been living that way for such a long time... but I say if you think you're so low, why not try something new? Perhaps try going outside, or simply trying a new hobby besides video games? I kick the hacky sack around every now and then to make sure my legs are alive; but perhaps learning a new instrument might help as well? Guitar doesn't make my life perfect, but it's helped me through some rough points where I've been at my lowest.

It's not so much a matter of scheduling a structured activity; quite the opposite. I say be completely impulsive and instead of jerkin off around the house, go out and do or maybe buy something that you wouldn't have ever imagined in your right mind.

I know that don't work for everybody, but it's helped me at times.

"Wake up at 5pm. Eat. Surf internet/play games. Eat. More boring stuff. Eat. Sleep at 6am."

Your sleep schedule's turned around, for starters. The weird thing about this is, turning your schedule around will briefly give your brain an endorphin boost -- a quick fix for a mild depression is to stay up all night one night -- but over the long term, your body will re-adjust, and you will get even more depressed, because not only are you now completely out of step with the world, but you aren't getting any sunlight, which alone will make people quite depressed and lethargic.

Sometimes I see people sitting in the corner hitting themselves on the head with a hammer, and then asking why they have a headache. Well.....

Your life seems very unstructured and undisciplined. This used to happen to me alot when I was younger, because I have a very intense inner life that kind of sucks me in if I'll let it. However, I know that people who are out having lives are doing that because they are making them happen. They don't feel like doing alot of what they're doing, sometimes, but they are working on a long-term goal that has prioritized everything else in their lives. In your case, I would suggest a long-term goal of getting your physical health in better shape. Depression is no joke, and you're teetering on the edge. So just focus on what your physical health needs for a few weeks: More sunlight, either by direct sun exposure or through a tanning salon, exercise, a normal sleep cycle, and decent food, including a multi-vitamin. This might mean joining a gym, or renting an exercise video to use at home, or getting a friend to go play tennis or go walking with you. It might mean learning how to cook, building up some healthy recipes, looking at nutritional information.

It shouldn't take long, and then you'll be ready to introduce more discipline, and get yourself off to either more education, a job, or both. I'm at this point, and after a year of getting my life re-organized basically from the ground up, I'm going for "the" job interview tomorrow. Maybe I took longer to get to this point than you will, but certainly, if you continue to sit in the dark in your house, you are not going to have any kind of life at all. We end up where we decide to go, one way or the other.