Overpossesive, ill mother

Doctor Smurf · 12-29-2006, 10:59 AM

Good afternoon all... This problem of being so restricted in my going out has been gnawing away at me for some months, and has come to a head over Christmas. When I was thirteen my mother collapsed in a gym and was in hospital for several weeks, suffering slight [permanent] brain damage. She's still by all impressions a normal mother - and not a bad one, I might add - but she can't cope with things the way a typical person would. The additional stress to this is two months ago my cousin, who had just got his driving license was killed in a car crash.

I'm a lucky guy, I've already qualified as a pilot [big plus that I'm trusted on my own in an aircraft] and a few weeks ago I paid for myself to do a skydive - my father said my mother had remarked "I'd rather trust him doing things like this than on an evening out with my friends". Whenever I have gone out I've not done anything stupid - I've never shown myself to be irresponsible, but just recently my mother has clamped down on me doing anything. I've tried to talk to her about it, but I've been shut out completely, so I tried my Dad. He's been very nice about it, but he won't say a word against her - all he'll say is that this is being a particularly hard Christmas for us, and that it’s not my fault. He's even gone as far as to say I haven't done anything wrong - which makes me feel so unjust, but I don't seem to be able to do anything about it.

Apart from all that I'll be seventeen and able to learn to drive myself in six weeks - I needn't explain how they feel about that. But my Dad is putting up slight resistance, he won't help me out with writing cheques and things to apply for my provisional, and I don't really want to go behind him and do things other ways.

I guess this is just a vent - and I do feel a prat taking up space when I know other kids suffer far worse than my insignificant worries - I just wanted it out.

Many thanks for time and comments! Doc

Axel<3'sRoxas · 12-31-2006, 07:24 AM

Parents can be very restricting at times, but it's honestly just because they love you so much. Perhaps your mother thinks your friends are a bad influence or something like that? Or maybe its just because of your young age. Being sixteen is an age where most parents think their children will start taking drugs and losing their ambitions.
Just treat your mum really nice over this period and try to understand where she's coming from. Naturally, she's going to be worried about you starting to drive, from what happened to your cousin, but all you can do is assure her that you'll be very careful, reminding her that you'll be with a qualified driving instructor.
Parents can be suffocating sometimes, but you really should be grateful for their little quirks and ways.

12-29-2006, 10:59 AM	#1
Doctor Smurf Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Wales, UK Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 209	Overpossesive, ill mother Good afternoon all... This problem of being so restricted in my going out has been gnawing away at me for some months, and has come to a head over Christmas. When I was thirteen my mother collapsed in a gym and was in hospital for several weeks, suffering slight [permanent] brain damage. She's still by all impressions a normal mother - and not a bad one, I might add - but she can't cope with things the way a typical person would. The additional stress to this is two months ago my cousin, who had just got his driving license was killed in a car crash. I'm a lucky guy, I've already qualified as a pilot [big plus that I'm trusted on my own in an aircraft] and a few weeks ago I paid for myself to do a skydive - my father said my mother had remarked "I'd rather trust him doing things like this than on an evening out with my friends". Whenever I have gone out I've not done anything stupid - I've never shown myself to be irresponsible, but just recently my mother has clamped down on me doing anything. I've tried to talk to her about it, but I've been shut out completely, so I tried my Dad. He's been very nice about it, but he won't say a word against her - all he'll say is that this is being a particularly hard Christmas for us, and that it’s not my fault. He's even gone as far as to say I haven't done anything wrong - which makes me feel so unjust, but I don't seem to be able to do anything about it. Apart from all that I'll be seventeen and able to learn to drive myself in six weeks - I needn't explain how they feel about that. But my Dad is putting up slight resistance, he won't help me out with writing cheques and things to apply for my provisional, and I don't really want to go behind him and do things other ways. I guess this is just a vent - and I do feel a prat taking up space when I know other kids suffer far worse than my insignificant worries - I just wanted it out. Many thanks for time and comments! Doc __________________ An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind - Mahatma Gandhi

12-31-2006, 07:24 AM	#2
Axel<3'sRoxas Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: U.K Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 100	Parents can be very restricting at times, but it's honestly just because they love you so much. Perhaps your mother thinks your friends are a bad influence or something like that? Or maybe its just because of your young age. Being sixteen is an age where most parents think their children will start taking drugs and losing their ambitions. Just treat your mum really nice over this period and try to understand where she's coming from. Naturally, she's going to be worried about you starting to drive, from what happened to your cousin, but all you can do is assure her that you'll be very careful, reminding her that you'll be with a qualified driving instructor. Parents can be suffocating sometimes, but you really should be grateful for their little quirks and ways.