Any book recomendations on dealing with childhood abuse?

[Janel]

My Ex-boyfriend and I are discussing getting back together, however I told him the only way we can is if he seeks help with dealing with his past. I can't personally handle going though another breakup. We love each other, that we both know, but his fear of really letting someone get close prevents us from getting to the next level. He was adobted when he was 5 years old, his adopted parents used to beat him regularly and he has scars all over his body because of it. He began living on his own and taking care of himself when he turned 15. I guess basically the issue is, no one his entire life has ever loved him. He doesn't know how to deal with it. I can't imagine growing up without ever knowing any sort of love. In short, he has broken up with me twice now all around serious issues, such as moving in together and going to my family reunion. He gets scared by this new emotion, and I know we will only continue to break up if he does not get the help he needs. I asked him to see someone about it and start slow by reading some self-help books, however I can't seem to find any that fit this area, any suggestions??

[sweetheart21]

He probably has some serious issues that you may not even realise. Does he suffer from depression? Often children that get physically abused grow up thinking that they are not worthy of happiness (because thats what everyone has said to them their whole life). And because of this they have extremely low self esteem. So you could try some books on self esteem & assertiveness training. Although he may also be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. If he is still reliving it, (nightmares, thinking about it constantly, etc) then books on anxiety & PTS may be more helpful. And then there is always books on depression, but I've found they only seem to explain what depression is rather then how to get better.
I know this is a personal question but I'm really curious what they did to him that left scars!?
Hope some of this helps

[FortunateOne]

I was in the same physical and sexual abuse position as your ex-boyfriend when I was a child. Please don't give up on him and hold off on getting back together until he's emotionally healthy enought to love.

It took me three years to over come my issues with depression and move on with a positively healthy life during my early thirties. I wasted a lot of good years wollowing in self pity and destructive behaviour. Sweetheart21 is right about feeling unworthy of love and to this day I still deal with it on a daily basis in a healthy manner.

The best book I've read on this is Dr. Laura's book "Bad Childhood – Good Life". It summed up all I did in three years to take charge and start to love people and myself. I also suggest he seeks therapy to sort through his emotions and assist in changing the paradigm shift he will undertake.