Gender roles: any useful purpose to them?

[Scout]

Hi, folks...this is "Part 3" of my recent threads trying to help us guys and gals better understand our similarities, and overcome limiting stereotypes.

In one of my last threads, the topic of "Gender Roles" came up. One poster felt that certain behaviors and tasks are just naturally "male" things to do. At the same time, the poster thought the same could be said about "female" behaviors and tasks. The poster also said there might not be any real purpose to gender roles, but some things just seem to fall under "male" or "female" categories.

All right, so that sparked my idea for this thread, and the following questions for my fellow eNoters...

1) Can you think of any authentic gender roles other than reproductive ones?

2) If so, what purpose do they serve in today's world?

3) Do you ever feel something is expected of you - some behavior or task or chore - simply because of your gender? And how does that make you feel?

BEFORE YOU ANSWER, PLEASE READ: I well realize this topic and its subsequent responses has the potential to offend. It could, if we're not respectful and open-minded to hearing people's honest opinions, deteroriate into another battle of the sexes. Folks, please let's not go there. Let's be open to hearing what people really think, and respecting their willingness to trust us enough to do so. If we have an opposing view, let's express it respectfully.

[Scout]

I'll start with my own answers:

1) Can you think of any authentic gender roles other than reproductive ones? I honestly can't. BUT - up until recently, I thought that being able to "fix stuff" was naturally a guy's province. In fact, I always said I wanted a guy who was handy around the house. That was a requirement. I remember even being shocked when a male friend of mine couldn't figure out how to hang a curtain rod back up that had fallen down. Never mind that I couldn't figure it out, either...I actually had the nerve to say to him, "I can't believe you can't figure this out." I should also add I have some of the handiest female friends in the world. Go figure that I held onto that steretype for so long.

2) If so, what purpose do they serve in today's world? Since I can't think of any authentic roles, I would say no authentic purpose. But psychologically, it seems like many of us want to feel "feminine" or "masculine." At the same time, it seems in this day and age there are more women out there proud of being able to fix a car and do their own remodeling, and just as many men proud of their cooking and home-making skills.

3) Do you ever feel something is expected of you - some behavior or task or chore - simply because of your gender? Yes, and it's mostly self-imposed. For example, I think as a woman I should know how to sew and am ashamed I don't even know how to attach a button to a coat! Is it wrong of me to feel as a woman I should know how to sew? Probably. But I still do.

[itsallgrand]

Okay, I'll give this an honest stab.

Can you think of any authentic gender roles other than reproductive ones?

Grunt work for men.
Yes, there are exceptions.
Still, the physical make-up of a man tends towards better at grunt work.

I've done my share of physical labour and I did work twice as hard, even though I am fit n' strong for my size.

But, I just couldn't do what most of the men could do. I needed lighter work.

In my province, firefighters even have allowance for the women - they don't have to do as much lifting in their tests. It is 'scaled' for women.

I believe even with equal opportunity for all and no discrimation based on sex in work - there will be natural groupings in certain areas. Whether a person prefers to live within stricter or less strict gender roles is a choice, that's all.

Women - child raising.
Yes, there are exceptions.

But the bulk of women are equipped biologically to form that indestructible mother-child bond. Is there anything else like it in nature? It has been argued that it is the strongest bond in nature.

This does not mean men are not suited to raising children. But I do think the role is differerent by nature. To a certain degree or another.

If so, what purpose do they serve in today's world?

I'll think about that. That's a very complicated q!

Do you ever feel something is expected of you - some behavior or task or chore - simply because of your gender? And how does that make you feel?

Yes. I have felt I was expected to enjoy catering to others needs before my own.

It made me feel angry.

I feel that I am expected to be pretty and put up with more than a fair share of objectifying with good humour.

It has made me feel angry, sometimes still does. Breasts will be oogled more freely than penii. More young girls are sold into prostitution than boys.

I have felt that I am expected to bear children, and to underplay my own intelligence in order to support others.

It has made me feel angry.

I have felt like anger in a woman is less acceptable than shown from a man. Women being more expected to be 'sunshine, giggles, and bubblegum' more often, not hard and angry. (even when appropriate)

In short, I've felt that being born a woman had stamped me as 'softer' 'more caring about others' - when I didn't necessarily want to be that way, nor necessarily am.

Is it self imposed? Some has been. Other expectations are other-imposed, and usually rejected.

...........

Egads, are my traditional ribs showing?

[Dako]

1) Can you think of any authentic gender roles other than reproductive ones?

As much as I believe in gender equality, I think men have long been the disposable gender. We are often the first to lose our lives in risky jobs.

2) If so, what purpose do they serve in today's world?
Men do hazardous jobs more often, and pay a price in stress and injury.

3) Do you ever feel something is expected of you - some behavior or task or chore - simply because of your gender? And how does that make you feel?
I was 1A in the draft during Vietnam, but didn't get called.
I expected to go, but was relieved. I was a laborer at the time.
---------------------------------------------------

Men often push each other to be a real man. I've seen too many exceptions to the gender straghtjacket to believe we're all preordained to play specific roles.

[Batya33]

[QUOTE=Scout;1313159]
3) Do you ever feel something is expected of you - some behavior or task or chore - simply because of your gender? And how does that make you feel?
As a woman I am expected to get married more quickly than a man - if a man is single that is typically seen as more positive than a single woman. I do not like that "stigma" (I am single).
I am typically expected to do the house cleaning - since my bf and I don't live together, I don't mind and I am not sure if I would feel differently if we did. My guess is we would hire someone so we wouldn't have to deal with that issue head on! No big deal.
I do not like the expectation that I will have children before it's too late. Certain people seem to ignore (1) that women of all ages have fertility issues - so why presume that I can have children; and (2) certain people ignore the adoption option which does not have the same bio clock limit of course.

I also wanted to add that I do not like the role of "career woman" - there is no analogous role of "career man" where the man is labeled as a "career man" rather than - what? a "stay at home father?"

[Scout]

Good points. I forgot to mention, yeah, I'm tired of the assumption that because I haven't had children, I'm "lacking" somewhere...that I'm not fully living up to my expectations. This may not necessarily be a gender thing, though...I don't know if any single males in their thirties and forties also get the same negative feedback and questions about not having kids, as well. They probably do.

[Day_Walker]

I prefer to focus on the second question. I dont believe that gender roles have to be anything bad. I think that gender roles become stereotypes when there is societal pressure to conform to your gender role. I feel that each and every person has the choice to decide how they want to live life with respect to fitting into a gender role or not. When the individual actually makes a conscious choice then I dont have a problem but when the pressure if from society I have issues with it. I give people credit for choosing not to let their gender limit their activities that they perform.

[Scout]

Originally Posted by Day_Walker

I think that gender roles become stereotypes when there is societal pressure to conform to your gender role.

Have you had any instances you can recall where you felt pressured by society to conform to a gender role? Just curious.

[doyathink]

1) Can you think of any authentic gender roles other than reproductive ones?

A.There has never been a woman president.
B. In war men are drafted, women are not.

2) If so, what purpose do they serve in today's world?

A. Equality
B. Equality, If my son can be made to go to war, my daughter should also.

3) Do you ever feel something is expected of you - some behavior or task or chore - simply because of your gender? And how does that make you feel?

There are the obvious things, but nothing worth mentioning. Around here it's pretty much a two way street.

[Day_Walker]

Originally Posted by Scout

Have you had any instances you can recall where you felt pressured by society to conform to a gender role? Just curious.

I dont know if I would call it pressure but I have a significant number of friends that prefer to drive large trucks with 4 wheel drive, the huge tires and all of that. I have been in situations where they look at me funny when I roll up in my ford focus. I am happy with my car but as far as the group is concerned I am the one that is different because I dont conform to their norm.
I can also recall that when I want to see certain movies I know that none of my male friends will be interested in going. They would be movies that "men" dont typically see. I feel that I do not have to fit into my gender roll but I am sure that for certain things I fit into my gender roll perfectly.
There have been other situations where according to my beliefs or actions that I do not fit into the norm of my friends but I dont view that as a bad thing I just know that they arent into it.