Soooo Lost & Confused!!! Need Everyones Help!!!

All4U · 10-31-2006, 06:13 PM

Hi everybody,

My name's Jason and I'm new to the forums. I've been having A LOT of problems with my girlfriend and I need some advice. I'll try and keep it short so not to bore everyone.

Ok, well we've been dating for approximately 7 months now, it was a long distance relationship to start with. We broke up around our 4 months and now we're back together, but only this time I'm living with her and her family ( I know 7 months and I'm already living with her). But it was because she ran away to see me after we broke up and she didn't want to go home without me so we went back together. We live in different states.

While we were broken up she did another guy. We broke up because she said I was too jealous and overprotective, because she met this guy through a friend and I got suspicious because they were getting really close and she was spending lot of time talking to him and she's not the type to have many guy friends and she even told me I dont think guys and girls can be friends then she's telling me I have a new best friend and she's talking about him. So I started asking questions about him and she said I was too overprotective and jealous. So while we break up she ends up going out with this guy like a week later and they do it. I asked myself, if she didn't like him while we were together she wouldn't have done anything with him right? So anyways, she tells me she did it because she wanted to get over me (i don't know). So while she was living with me for about 2 weeks before we moved in with her family back home, it was great she wasn't talking to him or anything. Make a long story short, I've been living with her for about little over 2 months and things aren't going so well for me. Firstly, she's talking to her ex (guy she got with while we were broken up) every night on the phone. Couple nights ago they were talking and I was lying next to her in bed trying to sleep and she was talking about threesomes with him, wanting to meet up, watching a movie with him and his cousin, etc. Before this they've been fighting and making up fighting and making up. And they even met up once to go to a public swimming pool, without me of course, and they got into a fight so I picked her up and brought her home. Thing is, she doesn't want to tell him we're going out again because she says she's embarrased, which really hurts me because I feel like she's hiding me. Also, when I'm at work or College she goes into chatrooms and chats with other guys. How do I know this? because she tells me and she has photos of the guys she talks to. And when we go out places, 100% guaranteed, she will always check out other guys. OMG, he's HOT!!! OMG, he's *-<removed by moderator> HOT!!! And when we're walking in the opposite direction as someone attractive, she'll turn around and check him out infront of me. Then we were at a store once and the assistant comes up and says hi like they normally do and so I say hello and she turns around and says 'your hot' and walks off out the store but says it quietly so I'm not sure if he heard it cus she said it as she was walking out. And she has this guy on her MSN who lives in another country, who tries to cyber with her. He talks about doing it with her, being quiet so I won't here them, making her give him stuff and wanting to lick her out. When i was there I was blown away I was like <removed by moderator> is going on. But I kept calm because I didn't want her to think i was getting 'jealous and overprotective'. She doesn't respond back, she just puts LOL and ignores it or tells him to not talk about it but everytime i see her chatting with him it's sexual. And when she told him my bf is next to me he started speaking in another language and she started to. I'm confused because she acts like this, then she talks about our future, how much I mean to her and how attached she is to me. She says to me I can't sleep if you're not in the bed next to me and how she wants us to do so much during christmas and new years.

Is this behaviour normal guys? ladies? My parents and friends are missing me so much at home, and recently I've been crying so much because I miss them. Her behaviour hurts me but I do love her and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about going home but I'm not sure because she really does mean alot to me but I'm getting tired of this. I'm just afraid if i move back home I'm going to regret it and miss her. HELP!!!!

ILovePasta · 10-31-2006, 06:23 PM

Hi there,

No offense, but you should really re-read your post... I don't know why you'd need advice given her blatant, unacceptable behavior.

Talking to her ex in front of you, about those kinds of subjects? Insensitive and completely WRONG! The other things were bad as well, but this one stood out in my mind as the worst.

And she has the audacity to call you "jealous"? She really needs to get a clue!

Kick this one to the curb, although the darker side of me would suggest you even up the score first! She sounds like complete trash.

PrincessJOA · 10-31-2006, 06:27 PM

you know what All4U, I suggest you read back what you wrote and tell me what you think of the situation you are in. Sounds like your girlfriend doesnt respect you at all and that shes taking you for granted. In fact, I dont even think she's serious about the relationship. It hurts to say that but its my sincere opinion. Action speaks louder than words and in this case, I guess you must be pretty deaf now. If she loves and cares about you like she said she does, she wont go around and check out other guys or talk to some guy that she screwed a couple months back in front of you.

You really should talk to her about her attitude. You dont like it one bit and she should know how you feel. If shes still like that, well you're better off without her anyway...and yeah. concentrate on your studies

All4U · 10-31-2006, 06:36 PM

Thanks for the replys. They're really helping. I just need other people's opinion because I want to know that what I'm feeling isn't just me and is normal. I'm trying to work the courage up to leave but it's just hard because I'm afraid I'm going to regret it.

I've taken so much of it and accepted it because I didn't want to come across as jealous and overprotective but i think she's taking advantage of that now PrincessJOA. I know if i were to look at someone else in this position I would tell them to leave and I would look at the girl and be in awe, knowing anyone could do that. I've tried telling her I don't like it, she's even seen me get upset because I get so frustrated and hurt it's hard to hide my feelings and she just tells me to get over it or that she's joking, i dont know her well enough. I know if i did check out other girls she would flip out. One time she checked out this girl and she told me to check her out and i was like no, what for. she told me again, just look so I did and she was very attractive and then i looked away. She was like 'OMG, you checked her out, you thought she was HOT, admit it' But i didn't want to because I know how she would be so i said yeah, she's alright then told her she was better.

PrincessJOA · 10-31-2006, 07:05 PM

you told her about something you felt strongly about and she made a mockery out of it? Is that what you want? It seems like she's patronizing you and relationship doesnt work that way... Why do you have to suppress how you feel and make yourself feel miserable just so she would be able to get what she wants? Thats selfish act. You know you deserve someone who treats you right... You gave up so much for her, and the least she could do is respect you in any way she can... but I dont think that seems to show. You decide

10-31-2006, 06:13 PM	#1
All4U Offline Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 2	Soooo Lost & Confused!!! Need Everyones Help!!! Hi everybody, My name's Jason and I'm new to the forums. I've been having A LOT of problems with my girlfriend and I need some advice. I'll try and keep it short so not to bore everyone. Ok, well we've been dating for approximately 7 months now, it was a long distance relationship to start with. We broke up around our 4 months and now we're back together, but only this time I'm living with her and her family ( I know 7 months and I'm already living with her). But it was because she ran away to see me after we broke up and she didn't want to go home without me so we went back together. We live in different states. While we were broken up she did another guy. We broke up because she said I was too jealous and overprotective, because she met this guy through a friend and I got suspicious because they were getting really close and she was spending lot of time talking to him and she's not the type to have many guy friends and she even told me I dont think guys and girls can be friends then she's telling me I have a new best friend and she's talking about him. So I started asking questions about him and she said I was too overprotective and jealous. So while we break up she ends up going out with this guy like a week later and they do it. I asked myself, if she didn't like him while we were together she wouldn't have done anything with him right? So anyways, she tells me she did it because she wanted to get over me (i don't know). So while she was living with me for about 2 weeks before we moved in with her family back home, it was great she wasn't talking to him or anything. Make a long story short, I've been living with her for about little over 2 months and things aren't going so well for me. Firstly, she's talking to her ex (guy she got with while we were broken up) every night on the phone. Couple nights ago they were talking and I was lying next to her in bed trying to sleep and she was talking about threesomes with him, wanting to meet up, watching a movie with him and his cousin, etc. Before this they've been fighting and making up fighting and making up. And they even met up once to go to a public swimming pool, without me of course, and they got into a fight so I picked her up and brought her home. Thing is, she doesn't want to tell him we're going out again because she says she's embarrased, which really hurts me because I feel like she's hiding me. Also, when I'm at work or College she goes into chatrooms and chats with other guys. How do I know this? because she tells me and she has photos of the guys she talks to. And when we go out places, 100% guaranteed, she will always check out other guys. OMG, he's HOT!!! OMG, he's -<removed by moderator> HOT!!! And when we're walking in the opposite direction as someone attractive, she'll turn around and check him out infront of me. Then we were at a store once and the assistant comes up and says hi like they normally do and so I say hello and she turns around and says 'your hot' and walks off out the store but says it quietly so I'm not sure if he heard it cus she said it as she was walking out. And she has this guy on her MSN who lives in another country, who tries to cyber with her. He talks about doing it with her, being quiet so I won't here them, making her give him stuff and wanting to lick her out. When i was there I was blown away I was like <removed by moderator> is going on. But I kept calm because I didn't want her to think i was getting 'jealous and overprotective'. She doesn't respond back, she just puts LOL and ignores it or tells him to not talk about it but everytime i see her chatting with him it's sexual. And when she told him my bf is next to me he started speaking in another language and she started to. I'm confused because she acts like this, then she talks about our future, how much I mean to her and how attached she is to me. She says to me I can't sleep if you're not in the bed next to me and how she wants us to do so much during christmas and new years. Is this behaviour normal guys? ladies? My parents and friends are missing me so much at home, and recently I've been crying so much because I miss them. Her behaviour hurts me but I do love her and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about going home but I'm not sure because she really does mean alot to me but I'm getting tired of this. I'm just afraid if i move back home I'm going to regret it and miss her. HELP!!!! Last edited by DN; 10-31-2006 at 06:37 PM. Reason: language*

10-31-2006, 06:27 PM	#3
PrincessJOA Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 221	you know what All4U, I suggest you read back what you wrote and tell me what you think of the situation you are in. Sounds like your girlfriend doesnt respect you at all and that shes taking you for granted. In fact, I dont even think she's serious about the relationship. It hurts to say that but its my sincere opinion. Action speaks louder than words and in this case, I guess you must be pretty deaf now. If she loves and cares about you like she said she does, she wont go around and check out other guys or talk to some guy that she screwed a couple months back in front of you. You really should talk to her about her attitude. You dont like it one bit and she should know how you feel. If shes still like that, well you're better off without her anyway...and yeah. concentrate on your studies __________________ PrincessJOA

10-31-2006, 07:05 PM	#5
PrincessJOA Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 221	you told her about something you felt strongly about and she made a mockery out of it? Is that what you want? It seems like she's patronizing you and relationship doesnt work that way... Why do you have to suppress how you feel and make yourself feel miserable just so she would be able to get what she wants? Thats selfish act. You know you deserve someone who treats you right... You gave up so much for her, and the least she could do is respect you in any way she can... but I dont think that seems to show. You decide __________________ PrincessJOA

10-31-2006, 06:23 PM	#2
ILovePasta Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Hawaii Gender: Male Posts: 102	Hi there, No offense, but you should really re-read your post... I don't know why you'd need advice given her blatant, unacceptable behavior. Talking to her ex in front of you, about those kinds of subjects? Insensitive and completely WRONG! The other things were bad as well, but this one stood out in my mind as the worst. And she has the audacity to call you "jealous"? She really needs to get a clue! Kick this one to the curb, although the darker side of me would suggest you even up the score first! She sounds like complete trash.

10-31-2006, 06:36 PM	#4
All4U Offline Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 2	Thanks for the replys. They're really helping. I just need other people's opinion because I want to know that what I'm feeling isn't just me and is normal. I'm trying to work the courage up to leave but it's just hard because I'm afraid I'm going to regret it. I've taken so much of it and accepted it because I didn't want to come across as jealous and overprotective but i think she's taking advantage of that now PrincessJOA. I know if i were to look at someone else in this position I would tell them to leave and I would look at the girl and be in awe, knowing anyone could do that. I've tried telling her I don't like it, she's even seen me get upset because I get so frustrated and hurt it's hard to hide my feelings and she just tells me to get over it or that she's joking, i dont know her well enough. I know if i did check out other girls she would flip out. One time she checked out this girl and she told me to check her out and i was like no, what for. she told me again, just look so I did and she was very attractive and then i looked away. She was like 'OMG, you checked her out, you thought she was HOT, admit it' But i didn't want to because I know how she would be so i said yeah, she's alright then told her she was better.