Help! My toddler is bitting! Part 2

savigota · 10-30-2006, 01:44 PM

Hi Guys:

Ok I'm back with the same issue as before... After almost 2-3 weeks of working with my baby(2yrs) in order to stop him from bitting and pulling his classmates hair, we had another incident today.

He has been doing really well and has responded positively to time-out and the "take him away from we're he misbehaved" thing. But today, I go to pick him up at his preschool and the fist thing i see is my baby crying unconsolable. I ask the teacher what happened and she says that he was repremended for bitting a girl and pulling another girl's hair (for no reason). I had to sign an incident sheetand they said that I have to control this situation. They are well aware of my proactivity towards this issue and it shows since the baby hadn't done it for 2 weeks since we started paying attention to this problem.

I did tell the teacher that I do find it very strange that this conduct only appears in school. He never attempts this in the park when he is with many other kids or even in play-dates. Last week alone we had 3 of about 4-8 kids at the same time. Not once did my baby try to bite, pull or any other aggresion. So its not a matter of him being jealous or attention-needy like the teacher told me.

I am worried though about how I picked him up today crying. He NEVER cries here in the house when I scold him. Today his eyes were red , i guess from crying for a while and when i held him, he still wouldn't stop crying and was whimpering and feeling miserable. It lasted well after we got home. He doesn't talk yet so Itsnnot like i can ask him what happened. I don't think they hit him but if so, I don;t find any marks that would show that this happened.

Any input.... I'm worried! Why only in school? why was he crying so bad?

southerngirl · 10-30-2006, 01:58 PM

Have you checked into other pre-schools?

That is what I personally would do. I would switch his schools faster than you could blink.

The way he is acting out could be very well a sign that he isnt being treated very well at that school.

savigota · 10-30-2006, 02:04 PM

i started looking for other schools last month when this all started but then stopped because my baby seems happy here. he gets there and is smiling and running in.. it seems that he enjoys himself there. That is why his attitude was so strange.

southerngirl · 10-30-2006, 02:08 PM

When she repremanded him, what did that involve?

Also was another kid doing something to him to provoke it, u know? Then he gets punished that could really hurt his feelings!

It reminds me of when my oldest son was about that age there was another kid at the school that hit him, he hti back and my son got in trouble.

But when it happened again THIS time the teacher saw what really went down and it was discovered that there was another kid causing the problems.

**BellaDonna** · 10-30-2006, 02:44 PM

Some resources for the biting:

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

I think you should casually ask him "what happened" and see what he says. Be careful about your tone of voice. Dont let him pick up on any ideas or emotion you may have about what happened. Be very neutral. Perhaps ask during a time when you 2 are relaxed and having fun (i.e. putting a puzzle together, etc.)

It's very possible that NO foul play occurred at the preschool, but his pride was just very hurt. Remember, at age 2 the sense of self really begins to develop and it's a time when toddlers become aware of social judgement. They can develop a lot of embarassment at that age. If he likes his teacher, and he was reprimanded, in theory it could be enough to send him into tears due to embarassment and shame. His ego was probably hurt. Many toddlers will fall down and cry, not because they got physically hurt, but because their pride got hurt.

BellaDonna

colors · 10-30-2006, 02:49 PM

bitting & pulling hair for NO REASON??? that seems odd. I work with children on a daily basis & next to never does that happen for 'no reason.' There is always something that sets it off. ie. taking a toy, getting in the way, not sharing, being mean in some way...ect.
It seems odd that they would say for NO REASON. ???
how old is he? my son is 4, I noticed he does cry more when he is scolded by others, rather than just me again.
but I also tend to agree with southerngirl
"Also was another kid doing something to him to provoke it, u know? Then he gets punished that could really hurt his feelings!"

savigota · 10-30-2006, 03:25 PM

his teacher told me that they were all coloring in the art tables and that for no reason he pulled his neighbor's hair. That the girl was coloring, as was he, and the=at he just went for it....

**BellaDonna** · 10-30-2006, 03:27 PM

Maybe she had a crayon he wanted.

Try asking him.... be very nonchalant about it when you do.

BellaDonna

savigota · 10-30-2006, 03:31 PM

he doesn't talk yet... At home I could easily interpret what he wanted when he was bitting but in school I just have to go with what his teacher tells me.. she says he bit the girl with no reason... O also, thanks for the links. I'm reading them right now!

**BellaDonna** · 10-30-2006, 03:40 PM

Quote:

he doesn't talk yet...

This could be another reason for the behavior. Perhaps he wanted to communicate something and became frustrated. There may have been nothing that outwardly provoked the behavior, but we don't know what he was thinking in his mind:

"I want that crayon!"

"I'm mad today."

etc.

He has time to still develop his vocabulary, so don't worry too much about that. Though it's often recommended to get a hearing test, just to be sure:

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

BellaDonna

10-30-2006, 01:44 PM	#1
savigota Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 43	Help! My toddler is bitting! Part 2 Hi Guys: Ok I'm back with the same issue as before... After almost 2-3 weeks of working with my baby(2yrs) in order to stop him from bitting and pulling his classmates hair, we had another incident today. He has been doing really well and has responded positively to time-out and the "take him away from we're he misbehaved" thing. But today, I go to pick him up at his preschool and the fist thing i see is my baby crying unconsolable. I ask the teacher what happened and she says that he was repremended for bitting a girl and pulling another girl's hair (for no reason). I had to sign an incident sheetand they said that I have to control this situation. They are well aware of my proactivity towards this issue and it shows since the baby hadn't done it for 2 weeks since we started paying attention to this problem. I did tell the teacher that I do find it very strange that this conduct only appears in school. He never attempts this in the park when he is with many other kids or even in play-dates. Last week alone we had 3 of about 4-8 kids at the same time. Not once did my baby try to bite, pull or any other aggresion. So its not a matter of him being jealous or attention-needy like the teacher told me. I am worried though about how I picked him up today crying. He NEVER cries here in the house when I scold him. Today his eyes were red , i guess from crying for a while and when i held him, he still wouldn't stop crying and was whimpering and feeling miserable. It lasted well after we got home. He doesn't talk yet so Itsnnot like i can ask him what happened. I don't think they hit him but if so, I don;t find any marks that would show that this happened. Any input.... I'm worried! Why only in school? why was he crying so bad?

10-30-2006, 01:58 PM	#2
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	Have you checked into other pre-schools? That is what I personally would do. I would switch his schools faster than you could blink. The way he is acting out could be very well a sign that he isnt being treated very well at that school. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

10-30-2006, 02:08 PM	#4
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	When she repremanded him, what did that involve? Also was another kid doing something to him to provoke it, u know? Then he gets punished that could really hurt his feelings! It reminds me of when my oldest son was about that age there was another kid at the school that hit him, he hti back and my son got in trouble. But when it happened again THIS time the teacher saw what really went down and it was discovered that there was another kid causing the problems. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

10-30-2006, 02:44 PM	#5
BellaDonna Online Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: U.S. Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 6,585	Some resources for the biting: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] I think you should casually ask him "what happened" and see what he says. Be careful about your tone of voice. Dont let him pick up on any ideas or emotion you may have about what happened. Be very neutral. Perhaps ask during a time when you 2 are relaxed and having fun (i.e. putting a puzzle together, etc.) It's very possible that NO foul play occurred at the preschool, but his pride was just very hurt. Remember, at age 2 the sense of self really begins to develop and it's a time when toddlers become aware of social judgement. They can develop a lot of embarassment at that age. If he likes his teacher, and he was reprimanded, in theory it could be enough to send him into tears due to embarassment and shame. His ego was probably hurt. Many toddlers will fall down and cry, not because they got physically hurt, but because their pride got hurt. BellaDonna __________________ "Well behaved women rarely make history." "Friendship should be a refuge, not an ordeal." Please see the forum rules for posting on enotalone:http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php

10-30-2006, 03:27 PM	#8
BellaDonna Online Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: U.S. Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 6,585	Maybe she had a crayon he wanted. Try asking him.... be very nonchalant about it when you do. BellaDonna __________________ "Well behaved women rarely make history." "Friendship should be a refuge, not an ordeal." Please see the forum rules for posting on enotalone:http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php

10-30-2006, 02:04 PM	#3
savigota Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 43	i started looking for other schools last month when this all started but then stopped because my baby seems happy here. he gets there and is smiling and running in.. it seems that he enjoys himself there. That is why his attitude was so strange.

10-30-2006, 02:49 PM	#6
colors Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Age: 27 Posts: 230	bitting & pulling hair for NO REASON??? that seems odd. I work with children on a daily basis & next to never does that happen for 'no reason.' There is always something that sets it off. ie. taking a toy, getting in the way, not sharing, being mean in some way...ect. It seems odd that they would say for NO REASON. ??? how old is he? my son is 4, I noticed he does cry more when he is scolded by others, rather than just me again. but I also tend to agree with southerngirl "Also was another kid doing something to him to provoke it, u know? Then he gets punished that could really hurt his feelings!"

10-30-2006, 03:25 PM	#7
savigota Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 43	his teacher told me that they were all coloring in the art tables and that for no reason he pulled his neighbor's hair. That the girl was coloring, as was he, and the=at he just went for it....

10-30-2006, 03:31 PM	#9
savigota Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 43	he doesn't talk yet... At home I could easily interpret what he wanted when he was bitting but in school I just have to go with what his teacher tells me.. she says he bit the girl with no reason... O also, thanks for the links. I'm reading them right now!