Getting toddler to sleep

southerngirl · 10-13-2006, 02:22 PM

When my son was small I would hold him to get him to sleep. I didnt break him of it until he was probally far to old. He is 8 now.

So then my 2nd child came along, now age 20 months.... he is held to get him to sleep too. I tried to break him of this and I swear I could get him to lay in his crib and fall asleep at about 6 months old! Then teething came along, n him getting sick once.... All was lost and from then on he was rocked to sleep.

Now, Im pregnant with my 3rd child. She is due in Dec. Soon I will have another baby, this holding the older one just isnt working! My huge stomach gets in the way and I can feel the baby in there kicking kicking at the other one Im holding! Its so frustrating too because my husband rocks him to sleep at night for bedtime, which was allways fine but I want him broke of this.

I just layed him on the couch, gave him his sippy cup... I told him 'nite nite its nap time' and I walked away. He fussed and layed there a few minutes then got back up.

I have repeated this 3 times in the past hour, its not working, the longest he layed there was 10 minutes.

Any tips here? If I could get him to even take his nap without being rocked to sleep Id love it.. Soon I will have a newborn in 10 weeks or so! What on earth am I going to do?

n83 · 10-13-2006, 02:28 PM

You could try telling him that he needs to lay next to you (not ON you) and explain to him that mommy's belly is in the way (congrats, by the way!) You have to be patient, it won't change overnight.. My son was that way as well, and getting him to sleep by himself (both at naptime and at night) was a huge deal.. He has to get used to sleeping by himself though. Every time he gets up, put him back in the bed, give him a kiss, and reassure him that you're right there. Honestly, after a while of this (maybe a few weeks, maybe few days) he'll get sick of getting up and he'll just go to sleep. Just try to be firm while you're being loving.

WorkNProgress · 10-13-2006, 03:02 PM

Hi SG

I watch the show "The Nanny" and when the parents have problems with a child going to sleep in their own bedroom this is what she has them do. It always works too.
She has the parents put the child in bed. They will get out and the parents again put the child back in bed saying "Its time for bed." They will get out over and over but from the 3rd try on you are to say nothing to the child but to lead them back to bed. It may be tough and tiring especially if there is crying but that is the only way to break the habit.

You could check on the website for "The Nanny" on ABC. Some of the children that they have had to do that with are very dificult and they seemed to get right into after the parents took control of the situation.

Thats just an idea? I hope that it may help or spark other ideas.

southerngirl · 10-13-2006, 03:15 PM

Yeah 2 hours into it and I keep leading him back, laying him down. I tell him 'nite nite'.....

Yeah I know its going to be tough but holding him simply isnt going to work! I got this huge stomach in the way... I wish he would take a nap though, Id love to take a shower about now. haha.

helpme2 · 10-13-2006, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkNProgress

Hi SG

I watch the show "The Nanny" and when the parents have problems with a child going to sleep in their own bedroom this is what she has them do. It always works too.
She has the parents put the child in bed. They will get out and the parents again put the child back in bed saying "Its time for bed." They will get out over and over but from the 3rd try on you are to say nothing to the child but to lead them back to bed. It may be tough and tiring especially if there is crying but that is the only way to break the habit.

You could check on the website for "The Nanny" on ABC. Some of the children that they have had to do that with are very dificult and they seemed to get right into after the parents took control of the situation.

Thats just an idea? I hope that it may help or spark other ideas.

I did this with my kids too, the first night it took like 3 hours to get them to sleep, the next night about 1 hour, and after that nothing, they didn't get up, they fell asleep within 15 minutes and slept well.

The key is sticking to it, and not saying anything after the 2nd trip back to bed, you can't say ANYTHING you just take them back to bed, make them walk, lay them down, cover them up and smile, then walk out. You can't give up, it doesn't work if you aren't consistent with it.

flower99 · 10-13-2006, 03:23 PM

Yep I did that with my son as well
I was HARD for the first few days, well pretty much the first week, I got little sleep...but after that, he got the picture. He learnt fast & it hasn't been a problem since. (:

be prepared for a difficult first few days, but it will pay off for the next 10 years

southerngirl · 10-13-2006, 03:27 PM

Im going to have to have a talk with my hubby too when he gets home today from work. No more rocking him... no no...

Ill tell him that if he prefers, to let me do this and he just sit back and ignore it... I think its time that he learns to fall asleep on his own, wish me luck.

This looks like it may be a LONG night.

I'mThatGirl · 10-13-2006, 03:31 PM

My children are 3 and 6. We co-slept for the past 3 years. For the past 2 months, I've been working on getting them to sleep in their own bed (or in my son's bed.)

I started with laying down with them until they fell asleep. Did this for quite awhile.

Then I began sitting next to their bed until they fell asleep.

This week I stood at their bedroom door until they fell asleep.

Consistancy is the factor. I'm sure you're exhausted with being so close to having your new little one. I think doing this at 20 months must be terribly difficult as they don't understand as much but just imagine what it will be like if you wait.

southerngirl · 10-13-2006, 03:41 PM

Well I give up on the nap! This is NOT working. Its 3:40 and I started this at 1 pm or so... Holding at first but when it was uncomfortable and he wasnt having it ... I went to the laying him on his own thing.

So... Maybe if I give up on the nap for today he will go to bed easier later? Trick will be to keep him up for the next 4-5 hours more until he can go to bed.

I will try to do this tonight though.

Thanks to all of you for support. This is so frustrating!

helpme2 · 10-13-2006, 05:10 PM

When dealing with another issue with my children it was so hard for me because I felt like it was easier on both of us for me to give up, but I had to remind myself that I wasn't being mean, I was being loving.

Think of something loving you can do to replace the holding and rocking, maybe you can read a story together before bed, or say prayers together, or something, that way he gets some special time, but it's not as much effort from you.

10-13-2006, 02:22 PM	#1
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	Getting toddler to sleep When my son was small I would hold him to get him to sleep. I didnt break him of it until he was probally far to old. He is 8 now. So then my 2nd child came along, now age 20 months.... he is held to get him to sleep too. I tried to break him of this and I swear I could get him to lay in his crib and fall asleep at about 6 months old! Then teething came along, n him getting sick once.... All was lost and from then on he was rocked to sleep. Now, Im pregnant with my 3rd child. She is due in Dec. Soon I will have another baby, this holding the older one just isnt working! My huge stomach gets in the way and I can feel the baby in there kicking kicking at the other one Im holding! Its so frustrating too because my husband rocks him to sleep at night for bedtime, which was allways fine but I want him broke of this. I just layed him on the couch, gave him his sippy cup... I told him 'nite nite its nap time' and I walked away. He fussed and layed there a few minutes then got back up. I have repeated this 3 times in the past hour, its not working, the longest he layed there was 10 minutes. Any tips here? If I could get him to even take his nap without being rocked to sleep Id love it.. Soon I will have a newborn in 10 weeks or so! What on earth am I going to do? __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

10-13-2006, 03:15 PM	#4
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	Yeah 2 hours into it and I keep leading him back, laying him down. I tell him 'nite nite'..... Yeah I know its going to be tough but holding him simply isnt going to work! I got this huge stomach in the way... I wish he would take a nap though, Id love to take a shower about now. haha. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

10-13-2006, 03:23 PM	#6
flower99 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,950	Yep I did that with my son as well I was HARD for the first few days, well pretty much the first week, I got little sleep...but after that, he got the picture. He learnt fast & it hasn't been a problem since. (: be prepared for a difficult first few days, but it will pay off for the next 10 years __________________ ~Love is not gazing into each other's eyes; it is looking together in the same direction.~ ~ There are a lot of changes in life, how we react to them that matters, it's what makes us who we are. ~

10-13-2006, 03:27 PM	#7
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	Im going to have to have a talk with my hubby too when he gets home today from work. No more rocking him... no no... Ill tell him that if he prefers, to let me do this and he just sit back and ignore it... I think its time that he learns to fall asleep on his own, wish me luck. This looks like it may be a LONG night. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

10-13-2006, 03:31 PM	#8
I'mThatGirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Somewhere Out There Gender: Female Age: 31 Posts: 4,874	My children are 3 and 6. We co-slept for the past 3 years. For the past 2 months, I've been working on getting them to sleep in their own bed (or in my son's bed.) I started with laying down with them until they fell asleep. Did this for quite awhile. Then I began sitting next to their bed until they fell asleep. This week I stood at their bedroom door until they fell asleep. Consistancy is the factor. I'm sure you're exhausted with being so close to having your new little one. I think doing this at 20 months must be terribly difficult as they don't understand as much but just imagine what it will be like if you wait. __________________ Never make someone your priority when they only make you their option. Never waste time on someone not willing to waste or share time with you. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein Wonder of these days.... how do they sleep at night? How? Is there something I'm missing? In search of. . . . understanding I guess.

10-13-2006, 02:28 PM	#2
n83 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 814	You could try telling him that he needs to lay next to you (not ON you) and explain to him that mommy's belly is in the way (congrats, by the way!) You have to be patient, it won't change overnight.. My son was that way as well, and getting him to sleep by himself (both at naptime and at night) was a huge deal.. He has to get used to sleeping by himself though. Every time he gets up, put him back in the bed, give him a kiss, and reassure him that you're right there. Honestly, after a while of this (maybe a few weeks, maybe few days) he'll get sick of getting up and he'll just go to sleep. Just try to be firm while you're being loving.

10-13-2006, 03:02 PM	#3
WorkNProgress Offline Join Date: Aug 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 166	Hi SG I watch the show "The Nanny" and when the parents have problems with a child going to sleep in their own bedroom this is what she has them do. It always works too. She has the parents put the child in bed. They will get out and the parents again put the child back in bed saying "Its time for bed." They will get out over and over but from the 3rd try on you are to say nothing to the child but to lead them back to bed. It may be tough and tiring especially if there is crying but that is the only way to break the habit. You could check on the website for "The Nanny" on ABC. Some of the children that they have had to do that with are very dificult and they seemed to get right into after the parents took control of the situation. Thats just an idea? I hope that it may help or spark other ideas.

10-13-2006, 03:41 PM	#9
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	Well I give up on the nap! This is NOT working. Its 3:40 and I started this at 1 pm or so... Holding at first but when it was uncomfortable and he wasnt having it ... I went to the laying him on his own thing. So... Maybe if I give up on the nap for today he will go to bed easier later? Trick will be to keep him up for the next 4-5 hours more until he can go to bed. I will try to do this tonight though. Thanks to all of you for support. This is so frustrating! __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

10-13-2006, 05:10 PM	#10
helpme2 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 316	When dealing with another issue with my children it was so hard for me because I felt like it was easier on both of us for me to give up, but I had to remind myself that I wasn't being mean, I was being loving. Think of something loving you can do to replace the holding and rocking, maybe you can read a story together before bed, or say prayers together, or something, that way he gets some special time, but it's not as much effort from you.