I'm scared to end my bad relationship.

I guess I'm just posting for assurance or any words of encouragement. I don't mean to be a downer!

I'm so afraid of being alone. I know I have to end it with him, and I've been avoiding him for a couple of days because I'm not strong enough to face him yet. Our relationship is unhealthy and I'm so much happier when I'm not around him, but I'm still terrified to cut the ties completely.

He is very controlling and we dated for 2+ years and he is poison to me. But I am pregnant and it seems that what friends I have (or had) don't want a pregnant chick around. I guess it's better since they weren't "true" friends to begin with, but it makes me that much more alone. I have one friend I talk to, and she is pregnant too but getting married and kind of distancing herself from me out of pity of my situation.

I am usually confident, bubbly and outgoing, but he really broke down my self esteem. He secluded me from my friends and family, and well my family is still here but none of my friends are really around anymore. Now he's playing the sweet guy because he knows what's coming, and that's making it so much harder for me to leave him.

I am afraid that I won't make new friends because I'm pregnant and it already consumes my energy and time. I'm afraid nobody will want me because I'm gonna have a kid. I am excited about the baby, but it is so scary at the same time.

Has anyone been through this? What's a good way to meet people? It's been a while since I've tried to make new friends... Has anyone been afraid to end their relationship due to this reason? I feel so pathetic and low right now.

Has anyone been through this? What's a good way to meet people? It's been a while since I've tried to make new friends... Has anyone been afraid to end their relationship due to this reason? I feel so pathetic and low right now.

I haven't been pregnant but have had several friends who have.

I think there is nothing more beautiful or wonderful than pregnancy, it's such a special time, so don't let these people who are superficial, get you down.

I am always here to talk and I consider you my friend.

A good way to meet people could be in lamaze class, since the woman there will understand what you are going through with pregnancy.

I was really afraid to end my relationship and kept reconciling with my ex, but it hit a point where I couldn't handle him anymore.

If he is bringing you down and wreaking havoc, it's best to have him out of your life, because you want to be in good mental and physical health for your cute bambino.

I haven't seen much good from this guy hun, sorry to say, you deserve better.

And don't think that since you will have a child, you can't find another man, because he will be biased, I have seen friends find men with children with no problem.

Don't limit yourself based on your fears. Go with what you feel is right deep down and don't look back. The future is golden!

Hugs, Rose

Hey BTR,

You are not pathetic. Even though R is poison to you and you are absolutely right that the best thing is to get away from him before you get more hurt, that does not mean that it won't be a scary transition or that you aren't allowed to fear the uncertainty and miss the familiarity- even if it was unhealthy and bad for you.

That is what kept me in my abusive relationship for years.

BTR- you are NOT alone. You are surrounded by your family who loves you, you will soon have your baby who you will love more than anyone, and you have US! You mentioned before having some friends who are still loyal to you during your pregnancy as well- don't discount them.

Scout mentioned something on Dilly's thread today that stuck with me:

What I'm seeing here is that things are probably going to get much, much worse. Dilly, we've got one shot at this life here on earth. And our time alloted is much too short to spend it largely unhappy and victimized.

This holds true for you as well, BTR.

Trust me when I say that your fear of the unknown is the only thing holding you back, and the unknown is not as bad as what you know right now- and it will only be unknown as long as yo ucontinue to avoid it.

Get out there and live, happy and healthy, for you and your baby.

Hi there. I know you must be so scared, but based on what you have told us all along about your boyfriend, think you are far better off on your own than you are with him.

Don't look at your pregnancy as something that will prevent you from making friends. I actually think you could make friends with new and expectant moms, just like yourself. Maybe there's a class for single moms or other resources that you can tap into for social support and to meet people in your same predicament.

You are a strong person and you CAN do it without him. Of course he has the right to see his child, but you don't have to be romantically involved with him or put up with being treated badly. You have choices and options. Don't let him hold the pregnancy over your head. You're still an independent woman with a lot of potential in your life.

As I said earlier, I think you are better off without him. At least you know that you can always rely on yourself. He has let you down too many times.

BellaDonna

YOu are doing the right thing if you end it. The others have gave you great replies..

All I have to say is Ive been there, and I talked to you on messenger, told you my story.

Ill be here for ya no matter what you decide to do, even if it is online. message me anytime I consider you a friend =)

Thanks guys...I know I am better off without him.

But I have not been able to leave him yet and I can see that I am not very strong in this department. My biggest fear is breaking up with him, and then I will have a low point and call him up again. I really want to avoid this, and friends can help me. I'm just lacking in that department as well and that sucks. My friends are all out partying and that's not for me anymore.

I thought about lamaze classes but the ones I looked into say it's for partners, and that would just be more depressing. I'll keep my eyes open though, there has to be somewhere.

"Trust me when I say that your fear of the unknown is the only thing holding you back, and the unknown is not as bad as what you know right now- and it will only be unknown as long as yo ucontinue to avoid it."

You are completely right Hope.

Any life would be better than one where I'm still shackeled by him.

But have you ever noticed that once you're going through a breakup, you tend to mentally romantisize the relationship? All the sudden you forget about every bad thing that happened and you're sitting there remembering and missing all the good times? I just know that's going to happen and I don't want to be weak, but I know I am a little right now. I want it to be over so bad but I'm holding myself back.

Stick with your family. At the end of the day, they're the ones who really care and will always be there to support you when you need it. Forget the guy, it won't be easy but he will only bring you down at a time when you need all the support you can get. It will be the best thing for you and the baby right now. And don't forget all of us are always here for you too! Hugs!

The one thing someone said to me was 'it's better to be a good empty than a bad full'. It's not that you miss him, it's that you miss someone to share things with, especially in the view of your pregnancy. Don't confuse the two. Yes it's harder to meet someone when you've got a kid....I've got 2....but if they love you they love you and will love what's yours whether thats your friends, family or child. That's what I hope for in the future because that's what we all deserve in the end. best wishes