I want him back!

youngstar62 · 09-23-2006, 01:18 AM

I need help. Im was engaged to this wonderful guy and I cheated on him in July. We had been together since December and I was his first love in every aspect. We started having problems because he was lazy and he was so feeble-minded and I didnt know if he could or would be able to take care of me. We were the closest anyone could ever be and then I cheated on him. I started developing feelings for the other guy but since I told my fiance that I cheated on him Ive started loathing the other guy and I admitted to my mistake and that I really want to make it work with my fiance. That was what we were going to do until 3 or 4 days ago when he broke up with me even though I told him 3weeks ago. Ive been trying to convince him that I'll never do it again and that I love him so much and he keeps telling me that he needs time but everytime its up to him to make a decision the answer comes back no especially if its for someone else's benefit. What do I do. I havent called him today but I think Im going to if I dont get some advice. I dont wanna give him time I just want us to be together now!

sumguy · 09-23-2006, 01:25 AM

You cheated on him, that would have hurt. You called him lazy and feeble-minded, that would have hurt. He breaks up with you so he can sort through his issues with you, and you don't want to give him the luxury?

Maybe I'm young and inexperienced, and maybe because I'm male I'm identifying with the other side, but give the poor guy some room to heal! You basically ripped your fiance's heart out...

007 · 09-23-2006, 01:30 AM

SumGuy, you took the words straight from my mind.

It seems like the poster is incredibly selfish.

How can you NOT understand why this cat needs some time? You cheated, called him all this stuff, etc.

Like SumGuy said, he needs time to think about what the hell just happened to him. Not letting him get this time for HIMSELF is incredibly selfish of you.

youngstar62 · 09-23-2006, 01:31 AM

Yes I cheated on him, but I wasnt the one who called him lazy or feeble minded. It was his older sisters that did. he was so dependent on everyone else and personally I didnt want to marry someone who was going to make me do all the work. He told me all the time that he wanted me to stay home with the kids, but if he isnt making enough money how are we going to support kids let alone me stay home. And Ironically he did say those exact words,"You ripped my heart out." Yes Im being selfish to a certain extent but even when I told him that I cheeated on him he said it hurts but I still want to be with you. We'll work through it. Now all of a sudden three weeks later it kicks in? It makes no sense!

youngstar62 · 09-23-2006, 01:34 AM

This whole relationship Ive taken care of him and have been there for him. Why do I feel like thats not being taken into consideration by him. Do you think he'll take me back?

007 · 09-23-2006, 01:37 AM

Have no clue, but let me tell you something...

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

youngstar62 · 09-23-2006, 01:41 AM

I don't believe that. I know that if I got him back I would never cheat on him again because of what it cost me. I didnt realize what I had until it was gone.

youngstar62 · 09-23-2006, 01:44 AM

With all honesty there was no excuse for it. Even when he tried to blame himself I told him that it was something I still decided to do. It had nothing to do with anything that he did or didnt do. But all these things you all are telling me, Ive already relayed to him. But I still want him back.

007 · 09-23-2006, 01:47 AM

Well, now you know not to cheat with the next cat you get that you love...

In all honesty, you lost this one, because YOU don't deserve HIM.

If he does come back, he's probably just feeble-minded.

sumguy · 09-23-2006, 01:54 AM

Quote:

We started having problems because he was lazy and he was so feeble-minded and I didnt know if he could or would be able to take care of me.

Also, you just called him lazy and feeble-minded again... Are you a woman or a... uh... field mouse? Do you need someone to take care of you?

We make concessions for those we truely love, we don't disregard their feelings and cheat on them...

09-23-2006, 01:18 AM	#1
youngstar62 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 15	I want him back! I need help. Im was engaged to this wonderful guy and I cheated on him in July. We had been together since December and I was his first love in every aspect. We started having problems because he was lazy and he was so feeble-minded and I didnt know if he could or would be able to take care of me. We were the closest anyone could ever be and then I cheated on him. I started developing feelings for the other guy but since I told my fiance that I cheated on him Ive started loathing the other guy and I admitted to my mistake and that I really want to make it work with my fiance. That was what we were going to do until 3 or 4 days ago when he broke up with me even though I told him 3weeks ago. Ive been trying to convince him that I'll never do it again and that I love him so much and he keeps telling me that he needs time but everytime its up to him to make a decision the answer comes back no especially if its for someone else's benefit. What do I do. I havent called him today but I think Im going to if I dont get some advice. I dont wanna give him time I just want us to be together now!

09-23-2006, 01:25 AM	#2
sumguy Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Australia Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 447	You cheated on him, that would have hurt. You called him lazy and feeble-minded, that would have hurt. He breaks up with you so he can sort through his issues with you, and you don't want to give him the luxury? Maybe I'm young and inexperienced, and maybe because I'm male I'm identifying with the other side, but give the poor guy some room to heal! You basically ripped your fiance's heart out... __________________ So Hell is a place of everlasting damnation and fire? You are aware that your belief system is thermodynamically unsound, right? Last edited by sumguy; 09-23-2006 at 01:27 AM. Reason: It sounded too offensive

09-23-2006, 01:30 AM	#3
007 Offline Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Massachusetts Gender: Male Posts: 151	SumGuy, you took the words straight from my mind. It seems like the poster is incredibly selfish. How can you NOT understand why this cat needs some time? You cheated, called him all this stuff, etc. Like SumGuy said, he needs time to think about what the hell just happened to him. Not letting him get this time for HIMSELF is incredibly selfish of you.

09-23-2006, 01:31 AM	#4
youngstar62 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 15	Yes I cheated on him, but I wasnt the one who called him lazy or feeble minded. It was his older sisters that did. he was so dependent on everyone else and personally I didnt want to marry someone who was going to make me do all the work. He told me all the time that he wanted me to stay home with the kids, but if he isnt making enough money how are we going to support kids let alone me stay home. And Ironically he did say those exact words,"You ripped my heart out." Yes Im being selfish to a certain extent but even when I told him that I cheeated on him he said it hurts but I still want to be with you. We'll work through it. Now all of a sudden three weeks later it kicks in? It makes no sense!

09-23-2006, 01:34 AM	#5
youngstar62 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 15	This whole relationship Ive taken care of him and have been there for him. Why do I feel like thats not being taken into consideration by him. Do you think he'll take me back?

09-23-2006, 01:37 AM	#6
007 Offline Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Massachusetts Gender: Male Posts: 151	Have no clue, but let me tell you something... Once a cheater, always a cheater.

09-23-2006, 01:41 AM	#7
youngstar62 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 15	I don't believe that. I know that if I got him back I would never cheat on him again because of what it cost me. I didnt realize what I had until it was gone.

09-23-2006, 01:44 AM	#8
youngstar62 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 15	With all honesty there was no excuse for it. Even when he tried to blame himself I told him that it was something I still decided to do. It had nothing to do with anything that he did or didnt do. But all these things you all are telling me, Ive already relayed to him. But I still want him back.

09-23-2006, 01:47 AM	#9
007 Offline Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Massachusetts Gender: Male Posts: 151	Well, now you know not to cheat with the next cat you get that you love... In all honesty, you lost this one, because YOU don't deserve HIM. If he does come back, he's probably just feeble-minded.