I'm spending more and more time on enotalone

happytown · 09-05-2006, 05:19 AM

And less and less interacting with people. I feel a bit like I 'm slipping into depression. I just can't bear to talk or even look at most people at the moment.

So I pretty much come home every night, and I talk to my girlfriend on MSN a bit and I watcha bit of TV but the rest of the time I spend looking at this website.

It's not that I hate people, I mean, I love communicating- just being face to face I feel so fake and stupid. When I have time to type and think it all comes out so much better.

I'm not with out friends at all. I don't lack social skills but I'm a bit flirty and a bit moody I guess. I just reached the point where every time I have a conversation I walk away regretting I bothered and thinking "I had nothing to say to that person and what I did say was stupid". I care so little for what other people say or think. But also I feel like I'm a little crazy and intense talking to people- I feel nervous at the time but after the conversation I think "god, I really dont want to know that person". How can I be arrogant and hate myself at the same time??

Honey Pumpkin · 09-05-2006, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happytown

And less and less interacting with people. I feel a bit like I 'm slipping into depression. I just can't bear to talk or even look at most people at the moment.

So I pretty much come home every night, and I talk to my girlfriend on MSN a bit and I watcha bit of TV but the rest of the time I spend looking at this website.

[...]
I care so little for what other people say or think. But also I feel like I'm a little crazy and intense talking to people- I feel nervous at the time but after the conversation I think "god, I really dont want to know that person". How can I be arrogant and hate myself at the same time??

Hi Happy town,

I know what you mean about this site being addictive...

But how much time are you spending here? I think real life always has to take precedence over online life, to be honest.

Are you going out at all? Do you have hobbies? About the interaction with other people, and your anxieties, what about sport? So that you're out and about, with other people, but the focus is not about conversation.

Is your girlfriend a long way away?

I suppose I was a bit worried about your opening statement of slipping into depression, and finding online life easier. It is seductive, and great to be chatting with people around the world, but it is not a substitute for living your life. Maybe try to put a time limit on the amount of time you spend online? I think it's great that you recognise this as a potential danger sign, and can look at what to do about it.

Good luck.

quietgrl · 09-05-2006, 06:43 AM

I can understand your point.It easy to talk to people online but it's hard going out there and meeting people.

RelaxByWater84 · 09-05-2006, 07:18 AM

I have found that writing in a journal has helped my social skills. I write a lot of my thoughts on certain topics and this has helped my thinking skills. I used to feel fake around people being a pastor's daughter and all but that went away when I started writing in a journal. Hope this helps.

vandgsmom · 09-05-2006, 07:57 AM

Well, with not knowing exactly how much time you spend here....

Sometimes, this is just where you are in life. Sometimes you need to get away from the face to face with people for a little while to recoop and recover.... Some people just feel occasionally sick of society, and honestly during this time of year when the seasons are changing, moodiness runs rampant for no apparent reason.

So if you are here for a couple hours a day for a week or two... no big deal. If you are here for a 10 hours at a time daily for a couple months until you are falling asleep sitting at the computer and typing posts while medicated that make no sense (me last night).... that is a sign that you probably need to sign off.....

Use your common sense, though. YOU know you better than we do... do YOU think you are here too much?

FoxLocke · 09-05-2006, 09:48 AM

Well, I'm on here alot...but mainly because it helps me. Don't feel bad.

happytown · 09-05-2006, 11:07 AM

Hey thanks- I guess I dont exactly spend that much time here- just worried I'm not interested in investing in anybody around me. I really judge people very fast- I meet someone and within ten seconds I've decided - and I won't change my mind. And then if people let me down in any way I cut them off immediately. And I dont miss them..... but my dad had no friends- he just sat and read his newspaper all day. I dont want to be like that.

But at the same time- I just hate speaking to people. I feel so empty afterwards. I'm social. I go out quite often. I just feel so weird and different to everyone else- I guess that's fairly common though.

Everything in my body is just telling me run run run run get out quit your job leave everything just go. I know I cant run away from myself though. So that's no good.

Three or four things have kind of contributed in the last few months to this feeling
1) I went back to my home country for a week and had a really good time
2) I got drunk a few weeks ago and I was hitting on a girl I used to like and my manager really badly- I felt like an idiot and I'm wondering where those actions come from- I'm not totally happy with my girlfriend- but there's no reason- she's beautiful funny clever- I'm just not getting enough sex because she doesnt come around enough (so I feel like a shallow idiot)
3) My sort- of-boss, who beat the hell out of some guy in my town last Decembber is coming to my branch for a week next week. I told HO I dont want him to come but they said no choice. I hate the idea of confrontation because he's twice the size of me. I know I'm just going to feel like a weak idiot. He's really good looking and charming so my students will love him but he left some guy bleeding on the floor and his blood all over my hands

I feel like a small shallow stupid person everytime I interact with anyone. When I'm alone I feel like me.

Donster · 09-08-2006, 07:07 PM

Try to strike a balance in your life, online--offline. Moderation in all things is always a good thing!

09-05-2006, 05:19 AM	#1
happytown Offline Silver Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 30 Posts: 384	I'm spending more and more time on enotalone And less and less interacting with people. I feel a bit like I 'm slipping into depression. I just can't bear to talk or even look at most people at the moment. So I pretty much come home every night, and I talk to my girlfriend on MSN a bit and I watcha bit of TV but the rest of the time I spend looking at this website. It's not that I hate people, I mean, I love communicating- just being face to face I feel so fake and stupid. When I have time to type and think it all comes out so much better. I'm not with out friends at all. I don't lack social skills but I'm a bit flirty and a bit moody I guess. I just reached the point where every time I have a conversation I walk away regretting I bothered and thinking "I had nothing to say to that person and what I did say was stupid". I care so little for what other people say or think. But also I feel like I'm a little crazy and intense talking to people- I feel nervous at the time but after the conversation I think "god, I really dont want to know that person". How can I be arrogant and hate myself at the same time??

09-05-2006, 07:18 AM	#4
RelaxByWater84 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In the Now Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 923	I have found that writing in a journal has helped my social skills. I write a lot of my thoughts on certain topics and this has helped my thinking skills. I used to feel fake around people being a pastor's daughter and all but that went away when I started writing in a journal. Hope this helps. __________________ Now caught in a waltz With the eternal dancer I'm courted by death But death isn't the answer I say. Beethoven's Last Night Trans-Siberian Orchestra

09-05-2006, 09:48 AM	#6
FoxLocke Offline Silver Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Across 110th Street Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 1,003	Well, I'm on here alot...but mainly because it helps me. Don't feel bad. __________________ "Tyger! Tyger! burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?" 1794 William Blake

09-08-2006, 07:07 PM	#8
Donster Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: London Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 323	Try to strike a balance in your life, online--offline. Moderation in all things is always a good thing! __________________ "When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying."--???

09-05-2006, 06:43 AM	#3
quietgrl Offline Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: finally moving from Ca. Yes!!! Gender: Female Posts: 1,299	I can understand your point.It easy to talk to people online but it's hard going out there and meeting people.

09-05-2006, 07:57 AM	#5
vandgsmom Offline Gold Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 676	Well, with not knowing exactly how much time you spend here.... Sometimes, this is just where you are in life. Sometimes you need to get away from the face to face with people for a little while to recoop and recover.... Some people just feel occasionally sick of society, and honestly during this time of year when the seasons are changing, moodiness runs rampant for no apparent reason. So if you are here for a couple hours a day for a week or two... no big deal. If you are here for a 10 hours at a time daily for a couple months until you are falling asleep sitting at the computer and typing posts while medicated that make no sense (me last night).... that is a sign that you probably need to sign off..... Use your common sense, though. YOU know you better than we do... do YOU think you are here too much?

09-05-2006, 11:07 AM	#7
happytown Offline Silver Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 30 Posts: 384	Hey thanks- I guess I dont exactly spend that much time here- just worried I'm not interested in investing in anybody around me. I really judge people very fast- I meet someone and within ten seconds I've decided - and I won't change my mind. And then if people let me down in any way I cut them off immediately. And I dont miss them..... but my dad had no friends- he just sat and read his newspaper all day. I dont want to be like that. But at the same time- I just hate speaking to people. I feel so empty afterwards. I'm social. I go out quite often. I just feel so weird and different to everyone else- I guess that's fairly common though. Everything in my body is just telling me run run run run get out quit your job leave everything just go. I know I cant run away from myself though. So that's no good. Three or four things have kind of contributed in the last few months to this feeling 1) I went back to my home country for a week and had a really good time 2) I got drunk a few weeks ago and I was hitting on a girl I used to like and my manager really badly- I felt like an idiot and I'm wondering where those actions come from- I'm not totally happy with my girlfriend- but there's no reason- she's beautiful funny clever- I'm just not getting enough sex because she doesnt come around enough (so I feel like a shallow idiot) 3) My sort- of-boss, who beat the hell out of some guy in my town last Decembber is coming to my branch for a week next week. I told HO I dont want him to come but they said no choice. I hate the idea of confrontation because he's twice the size of me. I know I'm just going to feel like a weak idiot. He's really good looking and charming so my students will love him but he left some guy bleeding on the floor and his blood all over my hands I feel like a small shallow stupid person everytime I interact with anyone. When I'm alone I feel like me.