Drugs and my relationship

J.Christina · 08-28-2006, 07:40 PM

My Boyfriend and I both do drugs , We agreed we had to quit so we can have a happy future. I am doing very well but he on the other hand admits to being addicted to ectasy and can't stop drinking. When we first started going out is when I began doing drugs. I stopped after realizing the mood swings drugs gave me. My boyfriend was doing coke a lot after he got his job and had money and a friend of his and mine told me about how he would choke up blood , so as a concerned girlfriend i told him he HAD to quit or its over. He agreed to quit and all was well at this time I was using e and he was as well i decided i wanted to quit and he should to because he started doing it heavily. So we both decided to quit together. I was doing ok I slipped up every now and then but he was flipping pills like crazy ...He told me he would stop all drugs after he got to try acid. I didnt't want him to do acid at all after seeing what it did to a friend of mine , I told him no It's the acid or me . He got mad telling me i'm crazy and controlling and that I tried it twice even though I was supposed to do it once. I then argued back I made a mistake and I don't want you doing the same thiing. He then said well this is the last drug I want to do then i'm done even though he said that about coke and meth!!! His friends are telling me I'm crazy and controlling when all I want to do is protect him. Am I wrong in telling him he is not allowed to do acid or any drugs even though i had and am trying to quit and slip up once in a blue moon or should he be allowed to throw my mistakes in my face and continue to use until I don't lay a finger on a drug again? Am I actually controlling and crazy?

southerngirl · 08-28-2006, 07:46 PM

YOu need to end the relationship.

Move on with your life.

Get off the drugs..

Let him sink or swim on his own.

The kind of drugs you are doing... can take you to a few places

-LIfetime of hard times....becoming a disgrace to yourself.
-Lifetime of ins and outs with the law and JAIL TIME.
-Death

that is the facts. Do you live with him? Leave!

Do you have children? HOw old are you? This may seem harsh to you but it is that serious. YOu are talking about your life and future here.

**melrich** · 08-28-2006, 07:48 PM

I don't think in this case what you are doing is controlling and crazy. Personally I think the best thing you could do is get out of this scene and that probably means ditching the boyfriend.

But if you think there is still hope for him I would definately be giving him the ultimatum "the drugs or me".

miserableme · 08-28-2006, 07:48 PM

A similar thing happened to me with my ex. I constantly gave him the ultimatum- the drugs or me. He kept saying me but then kept doing the drugs, and I kept going back to him. In the end, he broke my heart. He said I was too controlling.

If the drugs truly bother you, then do both of you a favour and end it. Drugs are very powerful. Now that's it's over between me and my ex. I've never been happier.

J.Christina · 08-28-2006, 07:50 PM

I am 17 I have no children I am trying to make my life better I pull great grades in school My teachers don't know about my life behind the scene I just don't want this anymore but I love him!

PRSOV · 08-28-2006, 07:55 PM

Drugs are addictive, in the end he will always go back to the drugs because it is a mental thing... he cannot stop himself from doing it by himself alone. He needs proper help, these are not soft drugs you are dealing with. The best thing you can do is try and get him some help.

You must leave this relationship now because it will only go downhill from here with the use of drugs. I strongly believe that a drug addict could not keep to an ultimatum between a woman or drugs. Drugs will always win without help.

Good luck.

miserableme · 08-28-2006, 07:55 PM

You really should start thinking about youself. You will be so much better off without him. I'm sure you will find a new boyfriend. I'd hate for you to get hurt through something that's not your fault. I also wish I had listened to the advice people gave me when I was in that situation.

In the end, it's up to you. If you stay with him and get hurt, then you will learn.

**melrich** · 08-28-2006, 07:56 PM

Quote:

I am 17 I have no children I am trying to make my life better I pull great grades in school My teachers don't know about my life behind the scene I just don't want this anymore but I love him!

You are way too young to potentially ruin your life for love. I get how hard this is for you but you have to recognise that you are playing with way more than just teenage romance here.

PRSOV · 08-28-2006, 07:59 PM

This guy obviously needs help why is everybody just voting to ditch him?

By that I mean get him into proffessional help, not continue the relationship...

miserableme · 08-28-2006, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PRSOV

This guy obviously needs help why is everybody just voting to ditch him?

By that I mean get him into proffessional help, not continue the relationship...

That's something that has to be voluntary by him. She can't drag him to rehab.

08-28-2006, 07:40 PM	#1
J.Christina Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ottawa Gender: Female Posts: 79	Drugs and my relationship My Boyfriend and I both do drugs , We agreed we had to quit so we can have a happy future. I am doing very well but he on the other hand admits to being addicted to ectasy and can't stop drinking. When we first started going out is when I began doing drugs. I stopped after realizing the mood swings drugs gave me. My boyfriend was doing coke a lot after he got his job and had money and a friend of his and mine told me about how he would choke up blood , so as a concerned girlfriend i told him he HAD to quit or its over. He agreed to quit and all was well at this time I was using e and he was as well i decided i wanted to quit and he should to because he started doing it heavily. So we both decided to quit together. I was doing ok I slipped up every now and then but he was flipping pills like crazy ...He told me he would stop all drugs after he got to try acid. I didnt't want him to do acid at all after seeing what it did to a friend of mine , I told him no It's the acid or me . He got mad telling me i'm crazy and controlling and that I tried it twice even though I was supposed to do it once. I then argued back I made a mistake and I don't want you doing the same thiing. He then said well this is the last drug I want to do then i'm done even though he said that about coke and meth!!! His friends are telling me I'm crazy and controlling when all I want to do is protect him. Am I wrong in telling him he is not allowed to do acid or any drugs even though i had and am trying to quit and slip up once in a blue moon or should he be allowed to throw my mistakes in my face and continue to use until I don't lay a finger on a drug again? Am I actually controlling and crazy?

08-28-2006, 07:46 PM	#2
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,030	YOu need to end the relationship. Move on with your life. Get off the drugs.. Let him sink or swim on his own. The kind of drugs you are doing... can take you to a few places -LIfetime of hard times....becoming a disgrace to yourself. -Lifetime of ins and outs with the law and JAIL TIME. -Death that is the facts. Do you live with him? Leave! Do you have children? HOw old are you? This may seem harsh to you but it is that serious. YOu are talking about your life and future here. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

08-28-2006, 07:55 PM	#6
PRSOV Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Australia Gender: Male Posts: 1,299	Drugs are addictive, in the end he will always go back to the drugs because it is a mental thing... he cannot stop himself from doing it by himself alone. He needs proper help, these are not soft drugs you are dealing with. The best thing you can do is try and get him some help. You must leave this relationship now because it will only go downhill from here with the use of drugs. I strongly believe that a drug addict could not keep to an ultimatum between a woman or drugs. Drugs will always win without help. Good luck. __________________ Learn from other people's make, you don't have time to make them all yourself - Usher

08-28-2006, 07:59 PM	#9
PRSOV Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Australia Gender: Male Posts: 1,299	This guy obviously needs help why is everybody just voting to ditch him? By that I mean get him into proffessional help, not continue the relationship... __________________ Learn from other people's make, you don't have time to make them all yourself - Usher

08-28-2006, 07:48 PM	#3
melrich Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 8,498	I don't think in this case what you are doing is controlling and crazy. Personally I think the best thing you could do is get out of this scene and that probably means ditching the boyfriend. But if you think there is still hope for him I would definately be giving him the ultimatum "the drugs or me".

08-28-2006, 07:48 PM	#4
miserableme Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 255	A similar thing happened to me with my ex. I constantly gave him the ultimatum- the drugs or me. He kept saying me but then kept doing the drugs, and I kept going back to him. In the end, he broke my heart. He said I was too controlling. If the drugs truly bother you, then do both of you a favour and end it. Drugs are very powerful. Now that's it's over between me and my ex. I've never been happier.

08-28-2006, 07:50 PM	#5
J.Christina Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ottawa Gender: Female Posts: 79	I am 17 I have no children I am trying to make my life better I pull great grades in school My teachers don't know about my life behind the scene I just don't want this anymore but I love him!