Why should we appreciate beauty?

nmduipd · 08-14-2006, 06:39 AM

I've been reading some of the posts here, and lots of people seem to think it's nothing wrong to appreciate beauty (in terms of physical beauty).
Why should we? Why should we appreciate physical beauty?
You were born with it or you were not born with it.
There is nothing you can do to get it. Well, you can go and do a serious of cosmetic surgeries – not only that will make you look totally pathetic, that may not even help!

I can't believe people put so much emphasis on physical beauty.
We should appreciate beauty – why? It's not like we do can something about it. It just happens. It's like saying you should appreciate lottery winnings! It's pure luck to look the way society approves at this point in time.

Physical beauty changes from period to period, from person to person.
Anyway, it's basically only different shapes and different sizes. How can that be so important?! Still, in this society (maybe in all societies), people do so many stupid things because of above-mentioned beauty. The idea of beauty is not always the same, but the stupid things people do for it are almost always the same.

People say it's nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. I think it is. I think it is much more important to appreciate courage, intelligence, effort…almost everything else. Everything that you need to put an effort in is more valuable than pure physical beauty. Yet, it is the most appreciated.

In my opinion physical beauty is overrated.

Am I totally out of this world?

butterflycloud · 08-14-2006, 07:24 AM

I do tend to agree with you but I think that it is the extent to which we appreciate beauty that really matters- as the saying goes " Beauty is not everything'.

Not to be big headed or anything but I am considered to be a good looking person and sometimes that beauty lets me down because I am far more than beauty and many people dont see that. I ended up in a relationship where my beauty was everything to him and who I really was inside meant nothing- I still wonder if he would have ever been interested in me if I wasnt attractive.

To be truely loved you need someone to appreciate your inherent qualities for those are the ones that last and that are the true refelections of ones soul. And at the end of the day you want your partner to still be madly in love with you when you are old and no longer considered 'beautiful' to society.

shes2smart · 08-14-2006, 07:45 AM

If you happen to find yourself outside of the narrow definition of the culture's current definition of beauty, your opinion is understandable.

What you haven't taken into account is this: What individual people find attractive/beautiful is highly subjective. You could have a 3rd hand growing out of the center of your forehead and somewhere, someone would find it really cute. Not everyone (male or female) blindly accepts what the culture at large deems attractive or beautiful as gospel. I suspect a goodly number of folks probably find what's promoted as the pinnacle of beauty not quite their cuppa tea.

This lifetime, I've never been anywhere near the cultural ideal....I've been given the idea that I'm too fat, too short, not busty enough, not blonde enough, not blue-eyed enough, blah blah blah. It could make a gal feel really bad...but only if she let it. Upon seeing the connection between how making people feel bad sort of softens them up to make 'em part with their money, it's hard to see those cultural ideals as anything more than a plot to get me to buy: cosmetics, salon services, certain brands of clothing, diet foods, diet plans, exercise gear, jewelry, and a lot of other crap I really don't need.

In our day-to-day lives, though, it really comes down to individuals not the culture at large. If you go to a mall or other place where there are a lot of people milling around, you'll see very few who fit that cultural ideal....yet most (if not all) of the people you see are loved by someone because of their idiosyncrasies and imperfections...not despite of thier lack of "perfection." So, while I don't fit into the mold of "the ideal woman" physically or mentally (and never have), my husband thinks I'm the hottest chick walking the face of the earth and treats me as such. Who am I to tell him he's wrong?

AntiLove_SuperStar · 08-14-2006, 07:46 AM

I appreciate beauty very much, and I'm not ashamed of it.

I am more respectful of beauty found in other peoples' actions eg. giving selflessly in some form, than in their faces, but there's nothing wrong with staring at someone (discreetly!) simply because you find them stunning.

It doesn't mean I value them more as human beings. It's just....something stunning, you're going to look at it! Why are great works of art considered great...often because they are beautiful?

Can't faces be considered nature's artwork and deserve admiration?

Jane0815 · 08-14-2006, 08:26 AM

I used to think the same way.

Then a friend pointed out that I appreciate intelligence. Everything I'd said about physical beauty could be applied to mental intelligence (as opposed to what we now call emotional intelligence and other sorts of intelligence). Both raw IQ and early cultivation of it aren't things we can influence. You've got it (the genes for IQ and the parents who groom it) or you've got ... less.

Here's your post, with mental intelligence swapped in for physical beauty:

I’ve been reading some of the posts here, and lots of people seem to think it’s nothing wrong to appreciate intelligence (in terms of mental intelligence).
Why should we? Why should we appreciate mental intelligence?
You were born with it or you were not born with it.
There is nothing you can do to get it. Well, you can go for special tutoring and brain-strategy coaching and math camp – not only that will make you look totally pathetic, that may not even help!

I can’t believe people put so much emphasis on mental intelligence.

We should appreciate intelligence – why? It’s not like we do can something about it. It just happens. It’s like saying you should appreciate lottery winnings! It’s pure luck to have the brain society approves at this point in time.

Mental intelligence changes from period to period, from person to person.

Anyway, it’s basically only different IQs and brain capacity. How can that be so important?! Still, in this society (maybe in all societies), people do so many stupid things because of above-mentioned intelligence. The idea of intelligence is not always the same, but the stupid things people do for it are almost always the same.

People say it’s nothing wrong with appreciating intelligence. I think it is. I think it is much more important to appreciate courage, physical beauty, effort…almost everything else. Everything that you need to put an effort in is more valuable than pure mental intelligence. Yet, it is the most appreciated.

In my opinion mental intelligence is overrated.

Am I totally out of this world?

RayKay · 08-14-2006, 09:48 AM

You know that saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

Personally, I think it is important that I am attracted to someone I am with, and honestly, I want them to be physically attracted to me as well...however what is attractive is very subjective. I have dated men of all shapes and sizes...physical appearance is part of the attraction, but it is enhanced, or lessened, by personality, compatibility as well.

When I was younger, I tried to fit the mold of what I thought was beautiful - I was also anorexic, depressed and extremely low in confidence. As I aged, I learned that beauty is not about a certain physical type, it is about being you, confident in your OWN skin and loving yourself flaws included. I do stay physically fit, and take care of myself inside and out, but that is for ME, because it makes me feel good to move by body and to feel good about myself, not because I am trying to fit an ideal, but because I want to be the best "me" I can be.

And when you are confident in your own skin, and stop comparing yourself to others, and FEEL beautiful for YOU, it's an amazing feeling. Others notice it too. I have seen some people with "plain" looks be admired and desired greatly because of their confidence and personality, whereas I have seen some people of "model looks" whom were terribly low in confidence and had difficulty connection with people.

MollyElise · 08-14-2006, 11:41 AM

I think that if you make beauty your number one priority most people can achieve at least a standard of attractive. On the other hand I think it's ridiculous to make it your #1 priority, there are so many other things out there that I think will be more likely to lead to happiness.

Also, beauty is very subjective. I might find somebody attractive that you do not or vice a versa. I think you see this alot in different ethnic groups. For example, I am not physically attracted to asian men and would not be able to point out a handsome one.

nmduipd · 08-14-2006, 04:38 PM

Thanks so much.
What you're all saying make sense.
I'm trying so hard to look at things as you guys do - it's much healthier

I KNOW beauty is not priority 1 – certainly not for me!

I KNOW it can be easily compared to intelligence, but I'm under impression that, unlike beauty, intelligence is underrated. There is whole multi million-dollar porn industry based mostly on physical beauty. Have you ever seen a site with all intelligent people there that attract so many people? Plus, intelligence doesn't inevitably fade with years.

Even from a personal experience:
I have always valued my intelligence more than my looks. But guess what? People were always responded more to the shape of my legs than to the fact that I work hard, hold masters degree and can pass any IQ test with excellent results.

I just thought it's not fair.

shes2smart · 08-14-2006, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nmduipd

I just thought it’s not fair.

Well, no, I suppose it's not. But life isn't fair. If we have expectations that it will be, we're inevitably disappointed.

However, life sure as heck beats the alternative.

You don't state your age, but I can assure you as I sit here in mid-life, that over the long haul, being a kind, loving, compassionate person (what I like to call "a decent human being") will get you farther than being the smartest or prettiest.

Momene · 08-18-2006, 09:48 AM

Maybe I'm getting older but I do appreciate looking at nice looking girls without imagining being in bed with them. I also think that all races have good looking people, although I prefer the Latin type myself.

I also find that attitude can make someone more or less attractive as well.

08-14-2006, 07:24 AM	#2
butterflycloud Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: universal plains Gender: Female Posts: 392	I do tend to agree with you but I think that it is the extent to which we appreciate beauty that really matters- as the saying goes " Beauty is not everything'. Not to be big headed or anything but I am considered to be a good looking person and sometimes that beauty lets me down because I am far more than beauty and many people dont see that. I ended up in a relationship where my beauty was everything to him and who I really was inside meant nothing- I still wonder if he would have ever been interested in me if I wasnt attractive. To be truely loved you need someone to appreciate your inherent qualities for those are the ones that last and that are the true refelections of ones soul. And at the end of the day you want your partner to still be madly in love with you when you are old and no longer considered 'beautiful' to society. __________________ Come to the edge he said They said' we are afraid' He said again- 'come to the edge' They came..... He pushed them..... And they flew.....

08-14-2006, 07:45 AM	#3
shes2smart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,139	If you happen to find yourself outside of the narrow definition of the culture's current definition of beauty, your opinion is understandable. What you haven't taken into account is this: What individual people find attractive/beautiful is highly subjective. You could have a 3rd hand growing out of the center of your forehead and somewhere, someone would find it really cute. Not everyone (male or female) blindly accepts what the culture at large deems attractive or beautiful as gospel. I suspect a goodly number of folks probably find what's promoted as the pinnacle of beauty not quite their cuppa tea. This lifetime, I've never been anywhere near the cultural ideal....I've been given the idea that I'm too fat, too short, not busty enough, not blonde enough, not blue-eyed enough, blah blah blah. It could make a gal feel really bad...but only if she let it. Upon seeing the connection between how making people feel bad sort of softens them up to make 'em part with their money, it's hard to see those cultural ideals as anything more than a plot to get me to buy: cosmetics, salon services, certain brands of clothing, diet foods, diet plans, exercise gear, jewelry, and a lot of other crap I really don't need. In our day-to-day lives, though, it really comes down to individuals not the culture at large. If you go to a mall or other place where there are a lot of people milling around, you'll see very few who fit that cultural ideal....yet most (if not all) of the people you see are loved by someone because of their idiosyncrasies and imperfections...not despite of thier lack of "perfection." So, while I don't fit into the mold of "the ideal woman" physically or mentally (and never have), my husband thinks I'm the hottest chick walking the face of the earth and treats me as such. Who am I to tell him he's wrong? __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake" Last edited by shes2smart; 08-14-2006 at 07:49 AM.

08-14-2006, 07:46 AM	#4
AntiLove_SuperStar Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 2,470	I appreciate beauty very much, and I'm not ashamed of it. I am more respectful of beauty found in other peoples' actions eg. giving selflessly in some form, than in their faces, but there's nothing wrong with staring at someone (discreetly!) simply because you find them stunning. It doesn't mean I value them more as human beings. It's just....something stunning, you're going to look at it! Why are great works of art considered great...often because they are beautiful? Can't faces be considered nature's artwork and deserve admiration? __________________ Don't even TRY it

08-14-2006, 09:48 AM	#6
RayKay Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Middle of Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 13,270	You know that saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Personally, I think it is important that I am attracted to someone I am with, and honestly, I want them to be physically attracted to me as well...however what is attractive is very subjective. I have dated men of all shapes and sizes...physical appearance is part of the attraction, but it is enhanced, or lessened, by personality, compatibility as well. When I was younger, I tried to fit the mold of what I thought was beautiful - I was also anorexic, depressed and extremely low in confidence. As I aged, I learned that beauty is not about a certain physical type, it is about being you, confident in your OWN skin and loving yourself flaws included. I do stay physically fit, and take care of myself inside and out, but that is for ME, because it makes me feel good to move by body and to feel good about myself, not because I am trying to fit an ideal, but because I want to be the best "me" I can be. And when you are confident in your own skin, and stop comparing yourself to others, and FEEL beautiful for YOU, it's an amazing feeling. Others notice it too. I have seen some people with "plain" looks be admired and desired greatly because of their confidence and personality, whereas I have seen some people of "model looks" whom were terribly low in confidence and had difficulty connection with people. __________________ [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]<--- [COLOR=sienna]Carbun the Super-Bunny[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#556b2f][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of... [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- My Biggest Hero and Mentor: My Mum.[/SIZE][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=orange][B]Il faut d'abord durer [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- Ernest Hemingway[/SIZE][/I] Last edited by RayKay; 08-14-2006 at 09:51 AM.

08-14-2006, 11:41 AM	#7
MollyElise Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Austin Tx Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 717	I think that if you make beauty your number one priority most people can achieve at least a standard of attractive. On the other hand I think it's ridiculous to make it your #1 priority, there are so many other things out there that I think will be more likely to lead to happiness. Also, beauty is very subjective. I might find somebody attractive that you do not or vice a versa. I think you see this alot in different ethnic groups. For example, I am not physically attracted to asian men and would not be able to point out a handsome one. __________________ "Does no one cry here, either? I suppose there's no need to, in heaven" Age of Innocence

08-14-2006, 06:39 AM	#1
nmduipd Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: australia Posts: 80	Why should we appreciate beauty? I've been reading some of the posts here, and lots of people seem to think it's nothing wrong to appreciate beauty (in terms of physical beauty). Why should we? Why should we appreciate physical beauty? You were born with it or you were not born with it. There is nothing you can do to get it. Well, you can go and do a serious of cosmetic surgeries – not only that will make you look totally pathetic, that may not even help! I can't believe people put so much emphasis on physical beauty. We should appreciate beauty – why? It's not like we do can something about it. It just happens. It's like saying you should appreciate lottery winnings! It's pure luck to look the way society approves at this point in time. Physical beauty changes from period to period, from person to person. Anyway, it's basically only different shapes and different sizes. How can that be so important?! Still, in this society (maybe in all societies), people do so many stupid things because of above-mentioned beauty. The idea of beauty is not always the same, but the stupid things people do for it are almost always the same. People say it's nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. I think it is. I think it is much more important to appreciate courage, intelligence, effort…almost everything else. Everything that you need to put an effort in is more valuable than pure physical beauty. Yet, it is the most appreciated. In my opinion physical beauty is overrated. Am I totally out of this world?

08-14-2006, 08:26 AM	#5
Jane0815 Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 116	I used to think the same way. Then a friend pointed out that I appreciate intelligence. Everything I'd said about physical beauty could be applied to mental intelligence (as opposed to what we now call emotional intelligence and other sorts of intelligence). Both raw IQ and early cultivation of it aren't things we can influence. You've got it (the genes for IQ and the parents who groom it) or you've got ... less. Here's your post, with mental intelligence swapped in for physical beauty: I’ve been reading some of the posts here, and lots of people seem to think it’s nothing wrong to appreciate intelligence (in terms of mental intelligence). Why should we? Why should we appreciate mental intelligence? You were born with it or you were not born with it. There is nothing you can do to get it. Well, you can go for special tutoring and brain-strategy coaching and math camp – not only that will make you look totally pathetic, that may not even help! I can’t believe people put so much emphasis on mental intelligence. We should appreciate intelligence – why? It’s not like we do can something about it. It just happens. It’s like saying you should appreciate lottery winnings! It’s pure luck to have the brain society approves at this point in time. Mental intelligence changes from period to period, from person to person. Anyway, it’s basically only different IQs and brain capacity. How can that be so important?! Still, in this society (maybe in all societies), people do so many stupid things because of above-mentioned intelligence. The idea of intelligence is not always the same, but the stupid things people do for it are almost always the same. People say it’s nothing wrong with appreciating intelligence. I think it is. I think it is much more important to appreciate courage, physical beauty, effort…almost everything else. Everything that you need to put an effort in is more valuable than pure mental intelligence. Yet, it is the most appreciated. In my opinion mental intelligence is overrated. Am I totally out of this world?

08-14-2006, 04:38 PM	#8
nmduipd Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: australia Posts: 80	Thanks so much. What you're all saying make sense. I'm trying so hard to look at things as you guys do - it's much healthier I KNOW beauty is not priority 1 – certainly not for me! I KNOW it can be easily compared to intelligence, but I'm under impression that, unlike beauty, intelligence is underrated. There is whole multi million-dollar porn industry based mostly on physical beauty. Have you ever seen a site with all intelligent people there that attract so many people? Plus, intelligence doesn't inevitably fade with years. Even from a personal experience: I have always valued my intelligence more than my looks. But guess what? People were always responded more to the shape of my legs than to the fact that I work hard, hold masters degree and can pass any IQ test with excellent results. I just thought it's not fair.

08-18-2006, 09:48 AM	#10
Momene Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Wiltshire Gender: Male Posts: 3,498	Maybe I'm getting older but I do appreciate looking at nice looking girls without imagining being in bed with them. I also think that all races have good looking people, although I prefer the Latin type myself. I also find that attitude can make someone more or less attractive as well.