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Thread: Is my co-worker flirting or just being friendly?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member KIDD's Avatar
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    Is my co-worker flirting or just being friendly?

    I'm really starting to like a co-worker at my job & I'm trying so hard not to. Usually when I have a crush, I always end up getting heartbroken so I will not let it get this far again.However I'm beginning to think that maybe perhaps he likes me, then again I don't know if my mind is playing tricks on me.

    Anyway we've conversated with one another a couple of times. Not alot, I say maybe twice since I've been working there.Anyway he has a nickname for me because he laughs at me & says that I fancy an actor which I don't think I resemble at all. Alot of the time we'll stare or give each other this intense eye contact as usual which has been done before in the past with so many other crushes! I think it's cute when he looks at me because his eyes get very glossy & dreamy like & he has this big smile on his face. Then again it might just be my imagination.

    So yesterday I was on my lunch break & I sat at this Mc Donalds that's built inside the Walmart where I work at.He comes in & I catch his eye & he walks over to me. He smiled & he was like, I heard you got all of the ladies here. I laughed & I was like well where did you get that information from? He laughed & said that he couldn't tell me & he walked away.We both laughed as he just went the opposite direction.

    I think he likes me but I'm not sure if he's just being really friendly. Everytime I see him, I freeze up & I don't have a clue what to say to him. All we do is always share this intense eye contact. I'm not very good at conversating with people but how should I go about talking to him or should I just leave it alone. I do realise that this is my job & that if I do something stupid like trying to talk to him, it can cause some serious drama.Especially if the guy turns out to be straight as a toothpick.
    New World Order... Not sure if it's true but interesting to look at anyway....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PpMdTmVMpo

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    Gold Member Meow18's Avatar
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    Well, I think the important thing would be to find out whether he's gay or straight.

    If he's straight, he might just think of you as a friend. But if he's gay, then I would say there's a great chance that he's flirting with you.

    Does he know you are gay?
    *Committing your love to someone means losing the chance to experience another person's love. So just be sure the person you are committed to deserves your love or else itís not worth the sacrifice.

    *Forget who hurt you yesterday, but don't forget who loves you today.

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    Bronze Member KIDD's Avatar
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    No I'm still in the closet which is a problem. I don't plan on coming out to co-workers, that's a big no no! I don't know if he's gay either. It just seems like by his actions & the way he looks at me, I sense something. This gets me all of the time because I jump to conclusions about somebody liking me & I end up liking them. Yesterday is what really had me wondering because why would he come out of no where & make a comment saying that I got all of the ladies at my job. It seemed like he was flirting with me a little bit yesterday. I know I hardly talk to anyone at my job that much, so I don't know where he would get that information, unless he was trying to make conversation.
    New World Order... Not sure if it's true but interesting to look at anyway....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PpMdTmVMpo

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    Gold Member Meow18's Avatar
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    Well, the fact that he said you got all the ladies probably means that he thinks you are straight. And that is something guys would say to each other just as a friendly thing.

    I mean, I guess it's hard because what if he isn't gay? Then you know that he's just being friendly.

    But what if he is gay?
    *Committing your love to someone means losing the chance to experience another person's love. So just be sure the person you are committed to deserves your love or else itís not worth the sacrifice.

    *Forget who hurt you yesterday, but don't forget who loves you today.

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    Bronze Member Jinx's Avatar
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    As for the ladies comment, he might of well been testing you to see your response. Now that I've gotten out more into the gay community where I can, sometimes for myself when the women aren't sure about me (or some, themselves but still are trying to flirt just to experiment I suppose) they will say, "Hey did you see him look at you?" by now I just chuckle and say it doesn't matter a bit to me, he can look all he wants, never is a chance. That, if the woman is curious will often open the doors to more conversation which for particular eventually more brazen individuals to openly ask about my sexuality now.

    You can always turn the tables on this, and when you two are sitting together or in the general area. If a woman looks at you two, even if she is obviously looking at your or some man or woman beyond you two, you can always take one of those straight man approaches and tell him, "Hey, she was giving you 'the look'." it is quite open ended, you're not pushing him by puntuating it with a "Go get her" so that he has to fake. Having it open ended as such will allow for a broader answer opportunity.

    You can build on it if he tells you No, not interested. You can ask in a subtle manner, about the why behind it. He may not catch bait, but a lot of people will when asked in such a manner. You could learn a lot from just a simple comment like that. His body language to his verbal response, if they counteract one another or are in sync with the answer. Of course it doesn't always work because some closeted individuals have mastered the art of lying in situations like that, and you just can't tell.

    I just find it odd myself that a guy would out of the blue say you've got all the ladies unless he is jealous, gay or just was trying to say something random, even then it is an odd opening statement to conversation that it is like he wanted you to bloat your ego by saying, "Yes I do" and play along or if you'd just laugh and brush off the very thought.

    I myself would think the best option here is to develop as much of a friendship as possible then to the point which you two may be able to spend time outside of the work area. Once he is comfortable with you, and you've made it clear you don't judge he'll most likely open up with his own viewpoints as to whether he is homophobic, accepting or homosexual.

    I think the key would be asking questions which are open ended, with a slightly straight twist, you being open about being open minded, and coming up with things that you find he likes to chitter chatter about so that he leads and you're able to nod and listen to take it everything.

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    Silver Member FoxLocke's Avatar
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    ooh coming out on the job. That is a double edged sword. You could tell him and possibly find out that he is too. Or you could tell him and have your personal business spread all over Walmart, and face harrassment or something.

    I would tread lightly on this one.

    Onething you could try is if the two of you are ever in a conversation you could say, " I goto clubs sometimes..."
    Don't specify what kind of club you goto...LOL. This could potentially go into a deeper conversation, and if he starts talking about straight clubs then you'll know not to say anything.

    He might just be trying to be a friend though. Just be prepared. Some people--going by my own experience--might be gay but are so deep in the closet that they refuse to admit it to themselves, let alone someone else.
    "Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
    In the forests of the night,
    What immortal hand or eye
    Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

    1794

    William Blake

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    Bronze Member KIDD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxLocke
    ooh coming out on the job. That is a double edged sword. You could tell him and possibly find out that he is too. Or you could tell him and have your personal business spread all over Walmart, and face harrassment or something.

    I would tread lightly on this one.

    Onething you could try is if the two of you are ever in a conversation you could say, " I goto clubs sometimes..."
    Don't specify what kind of club you goto...LOL. This could potentially go into a deeper conversation, and if he starts talking about straight clubs then you'll know not to say anything.

    He might just be trying to be a friend though. Just be prepared. Some people--going by my own experience--might be gay but are so deep in the closet that they refuse to admit it to themselves, let alone someone else.

    That's why I think I'll just leave this alone. I seriously don't want to go through the guessing game all over again & like you said, it could go all over Walmart about my sexuality. However I will try to be his friend & see where things could go.

    However I'm tired of putting so much effort in trying to figure people out. I'm tired of looking. I just have this hope of having someone that really cares about me & it would be nice to be noticed by a guy. Though I'm beginning to believe that perhaps he was trying to be friendly. I overanalyze every little thing a guy says or does with me & I take it as flirting. It's exhausting wondering all of the time about what is he thinking?
    New World Order... Not sure if it's true but interesting to look at anyway....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PpMdTmVMpo

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    well i dont blame u for not coming out to ur co-workers....but this guy...u really like him so don't just cut off the connection between u 2. talk to him and relax, dont get nevous.(i know, easier said then done) just take a deep breath and think of something to talk about before you talk to him. and maybe once you get to know him more..if he is gay he will come out to you....good luck and let me know how everything turns out.
    out of weakness we are made strong....hebrews 11:34

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    Bronze Member KIDD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosalyn1223
    well i dont blame u for not coming out to ur co-workers....but this guy...u really like him so don't just cut off the connection between u 2. talk to him and relax, dont get nevous.(i know, easier said then done) just take a deep breath and think of something to talk about before you talk to him. and maybe once you get to know him more..if he is gay he will come out to you....good luck and let me know how everything turns out.
    Well if a rumor about me being gay spreads around my job, which I'm praying it won't. It will probably get back to him & I will see if it changes anything. I really will just give up on guys right now, there's so much more I have to worry about right now..
    New World Order... Not sure if it's true but interesting to look at anyway....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PpMdTmVMpo

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