Distress Tolerance skills

redmage22 · 07-05-2006, 11:12 PM

Mental and spiritual tools to help you get past the most self-pitable and wallowing moments of the grief of the loss of a loved one.

Imagery

Imagine a place that can relax you, such as a real geographical location, and include details like temperature, decorations and the landscape that surrounds you. Go into this scene, and perhaps even a specific room, that represents a safe palce for you. Imagine everything going well. Imagine coping well. Make up a fantasy place or world that is calming and beautiful to you, and let your mind go with it. Imagine draining all of the negative emotions from you, like water out of a pipe. Imagine these surroundings keeping you calm, soothed and safe

Meaning

Find or create some purpose, meaning or value in the experiences that you are having. You are able to learn from your experiences. Remember, listen, or read about spiritual values. Focus on whatever positive aspects of yourself that have been present in your life. Repeat them over and over in your mind. Remember to consider your strengths when using this technique.

Relaxation

Try some muscle relaxing by tensing and relaing each large muscle group, starting with your hands and arms, going to the top of your head, and then working down. Listen to music or a meditation that you find soothing and relaxing. Take a hot bath or shower, and use some scents in this, to help you relax. Drink some hot milk or hot chocolate, or a cup of tea. Massage your neck, your scalp and put some cream on your skin. Breathe deeply throughout any of these relaxation steps, to fill your body with oxygen that it needs.

Prayer or Affirmation

Open your hear to greater wisdom, your own instincts and intuition, you own wise mind. Ask for strength to bear the pain in this moment. Turn over your pain to a higher power. Remind you self, "This too will pass," "I can make it now" and "I can go on, I can do this." to calm yourself and give yourself hope. Allow the negative self talk to fade away, as you concentrate on hope and centering yourself to overcoming this moment.

One Moment At a Time

Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing right now. Keep yourself in the very moment you are in; put your mind in the present. Focus you entire attention on physical sensations that accompany non-mental tasks(eg. washing, fixing, sewing, walking, cleaning, organizing, talking, breathing). Be aware of how your body moves during each task.

I was given this information by a counselor I had seen today. very wise advice. Very good to get past the worst parts of emotional grief.

yeawutever · 07-18-2006, 08:09 PM

Thanx for sharing that, you're right it does help you relax.

onayrb · 07-19-2006, 09:22 AM

It is good advice and thanks for sharing, but I find it only really easy to implement when feeling moderately positive and very difficult to implement from the pit of despair - even though you know it might lift you out of the pit, despair by nature trys to hold you in. Anyway, enough negativity, use all of the above whenever possible, they do help.

07-05-2006, 11:12 PM	#1
redmage22 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Gender: Male Posts: 583	Distress Tolerance skills Mental and spiritual tools to help you get past the most self-pitable and wallowing moments of the grief of the loss of a loved one. Imagery Imagine a place that can relax you, such as a real geographical location, and include details like temperature, decorations and the landscape that surrounds you. Go into this scene, and perhaps even a specific room, that represents a safe palce for you. Imagine everything going well. Imagine coping well. Make up a fantasy place or world that is calming and beautiful to you, and let your mind go with it. Imagine draining all of the negative emotions from you, like water out of a pipe. Imagine these surroundings keeping you calm, soothed and safe Meaning Find or create some purpose, meaning or value in the experiences that you are having. You are able to learn from your experiences. Remember, listen, or read about spiritual values. Focus on whatever positive aspects of yourself that have been present in your life. Repeat them over and over in your mind. Remember to consider your strengths when using this technique. Relaxation Try some muscle relaxing by tensing and relaing each large muscle group, starting with your hands and arms, going to the top of your head, and then working down. Listen to music or a meditation that you find soothing and relaxing. Take a hot bath or shower, and use some scents in this, to help you relax. Drink some hot milk or hot chocolate, or a cup of tea. Massage your neck, your scalp and put some cream on your skin. Breathe deeply throughout any of these relaxation steps, to fill your body with oxygen that it needs. Prayer or Affirmation Open your hear to greater wisdom, your own instincts and intuition, you own wise mind. Ask for strength to bear the pain in this moment. Turn over your pain to a higher power. Remind you self, "This too will pass," "I can make it now" and "I can go on, I can do this." to calm yourself and give yourself hope. Allow the negative self talk to fade away, as you concentrate on hope and centering yourself to overcoming this moment. One Moment At a Time Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing right now. Keep yourself in the very moment you are in; put your mind in the present. Focus you entire attention on physical sensations that accompany non-mental tasks(eg. washing, fixing, sewing, walking, cleaning, organizing, talking, breathing). Be aware of how your body moves during each task. I was given this information by a counselor I had seen today. very wise advice. Very good to get past the worst parts of emotional grief.

07-18-2006, 08:09 PM	#2
yeawutever Online Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 5,673	Thanx for sharing that, you're right it does help you relax. __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!! Still in a LDR with boyfriend.

07-19-2006, 09:22 AM	#3
onayrb Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Age: 35 Posts: 107	It is good advice and thanks for sharing, but I find it only really easy to implement when feeling moderately positive and very difficult to implement from the pit of despair - even though you know it might lift you out of the pit, despair by nature trys to hold you in. Anyway, enough negativity, use all of the above whenever possible, they do help.