Friends With Benefits

SweetJane · 06-28-2006, 02:36 PM

I have a friend that I've known since middle school. He is gay and currently doesn't ahve a boy friend. I don't have a boy friend right now either. He is one of my best friends and sometimes when we haven't had sex with anyone in a while we just hook up with each other.

We give each head, have sex, even anal sometimes and it's great sex. It's not making our friendship wierd and we both enjoy it. It has actually made us closer friends because we can be more personal and talk about anything. He still says he's gay but could he be straight or bi and hiding it? Has anyone else done anything like this?

coollady1957 · 06-28-2006, 02:43 PM

I can't say that I have, but I am sure there must be people out there beside you and your friend that have hooked up in that manner.

The main thought that came to mind was if you two are using condoms and having safe sex. That would be a bit of concern if it were me. Not trying to be preachy or anything.

SweetJane · 06-28-2006, 02:46 PM

That's understandable. I've actually never had unsafe sex and to my knowledge he's been tested after he hooked up with a guy a while ago and has nothing.

nottoogreen · 06-28-2006, 02:53 PM

Hi SweetJane,

Here is another thread for more input: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=141188

Day_Walker · 06-28-2006, 03:00 PM

The problem with friends with benefits situations is typically that one person gets feelings for the other and the other person gets hurt. As long as you two know what you are doing and getting yourself into I dont see a problem but realize that these type of situations do have to come to an end and thats where they cant get messy.
As far as him being gay, it seems suspect that he is gay and still enjoys having sex with a woman, it could be that he is bisexual or it could be that he thinks ur a man when u two are having sex. It is impossible to know his thought process.

Considerate Empath · 06-28-2006, 03:15 PM

He's probably "Homoflexible". Not sure if that's even a word, but I know that there is something called "Heteroflexible", which is when you're straight, but when you're with the right guy you can change for that occasion - or something like that anyways. Just same thing only a gay guy with a girl instead of a straight guy with a guy. Either that or he's secretly bi/changed to straight.

//C.E.

renaissancewoman101 · 06-28-2006, 04:06 PM

The first guy I ever fell in love with (who is the guy I am having problems with right now), he came out of the closet after three years of dating me. During those three years, we never had sex per se, but he did go down on me. After he came out to me, we still did that for a while until he went and found himself a bf. We stayed good friends until now. Our friendship is on the rocks right now.

Cadence308 · 06-28-2006, 04:12 PM

I don't think your friend is hiding that he's straight. Why would he do that if the two of you are just friends? Especially when it sounds like he's enjoying the sex just as much as you are?

Sexuality is a dynamic thing that is constantly evolving and changing. It depends on so many things. If he doesn't have a boyfriend right now then he doesn't have a boyfriend right now and is enjoying gay sex with you. What reason do you have for suspecting that he's straight and hiding it?

Deviant_Kate · 06-29-2006, 10:58 AM

Maybe he's bisexual in his behavior, but the fact of the matter is, if he says he's gay, then he's gay - There are tons of women who get girl crushes or even have flings with girls, and they still consider themselves straight. Same principle. Whether his behavior agrees with his identity or not, he knows himself better than anyone. You just have to trust him to know who he is.

06-28-2006, 02:36 PM	#1
SweetJane Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 22	Friends With Benefits I have a friend that I've known since middle school. He is gay and currently doesn't ahve a boy friend. I don't have a boy friend right now either. He is one of my best friends and sometimes when we haven't had sex with anyone in a while we just hook up with each other. We give each head, have sex, even anal sometimes and it's great sex. It's not making our friendship wierd and we both enjoy it. It has actually made us closer friends because we can be more personal and talk about anything. He still says he's gay but could he be straight or bi and hiding it? Has anyone else done anything like this? __________________ I've always had a repulsive need to be something more than human. -Bowie

06-28-2006, 02:46 PM	#3
SweetJane Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 22	That's understandable. I've actually never had unsafe sex and to my knowledge he's been tested after he hooked up with a guy a while ago and has nothing. __________________ I've always had a repulsive need to be something more than human. -Bowie

06-28-2006, 03:00 PM	#5
Day_Walker Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 4,881	The problem with friends with benefits situations is typically that one person gets feelings for the other and the other person gets hurt. As long as you two know what you are doing and getting yourself into I dont see a problem but realize that these type of situations do have to come to an end and thats where they cant get messy. As far as him being gay, it seems suspect that he is gay and still enjoys having sex with a woman, it could be that he is bisexual or it could be that he thinks ur a man when u two are having sex. It is impossible to know his thought process. __________________ "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

06-28-2006, 03:15 PM	#6
Considerate Empath Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 260	He's probably "Homoflexible". Not sure if that's even a word, but I know that there is something called "Heteroflexible", which is when you're straight, but when you're with the right guy you can change for that occasion - or something like that anyways. Just same thing only a gay guy with a girl instead of a straight guy with a guy. Either that or he's secretly bi/changed to straight. //C.E. __________________ “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.” - John F. Kennedy

06-28-2006, 04:12 PM	#8
Cadence308 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 1,338	I don't think your friend is hiding that he's straight. Why would he do that if the two of you are just friends? Especially when it sounds like he's enjoying the sex just as much as you are? Sexuality is a dynamic thing that is constantly evolving and changing. It depends on so many things. If he doesn't have a boyfriend right now then he doesn't have a boyfriend right now and is enjoying gay sex with you. What reason do you have for suspecting that he's straight and hiding it? __________________ I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and what I could be if...there weren't any other people living in the world. - Anne Frank

06-28-2006, 02:43 PM	#2
coollady1957 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Alabama..Near ROLL TIDE COUNTRY ! Gender: Female Age: 52 Posts: 2,196	I can't say that I have, but I am sure there must be people out there beside you and your friend that have hooked up in that manner. The main thought that came to mind was if you two are using condoms and having safe sex. That would be a bit of concern if it were me. Not trying to be preachy or anything.

06-28-2006, 02:53 PM	#4
nottoogreen Offline Join Date: May 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 2,530	Hi SweetJane, Here is another thread for more input: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=141188

06-28-2006, 04:06 PM	#7
renaissancewoman101 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the land by the sea Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 8,563	The first guy I ever fell in love with (who is the guy I am having problems with right now), he came out of the closet after three years of dating me. During those three years, we never had sex per se, but he did go down on me. After he came out to me, we still did that for a while until he went and found himself a bf. We stayed good friends until now. Our friendship is on the rocks right now.

06-29-2006, 10:58 AM	#9
Deviant_Kate Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Ames, IA Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 292	Maybe he's bisexual in his behavior, but the fact of the matter is, if he says he's gay, then he's gay - There are tons of women who get girl crushes or even have flings with girls, and they still consider themselves straight. Same principle. Whether his behavior agrees with his identity or not, he knows himself better than anyone. You just have to trust him to know who he is.