Am having bad luck with men or is it just me?

Really don't understand whats going on with people honestly!

I seem to attract the wrong men in my life everytime i think things are going well something always pops up like they have a girl friend or nothing happens. Seems like a pattern for 4 1/2 years now single me doesn't understand what i'm doing wrong. What am i doing wrong?

HElp

join the club! Ive been in and out of bad relationships for ages. It doesnt mean anything is wrong with you, its the guys your dating and attracting are the wrong ones. Im sure you'l find someone great soon, it just takes time. we go out with the wrong ones so when we do meet the right one we know how to appricate them.

Hi skyblue1,

We need to understand you as a person before pointing out problems and solutions.

Please tell us more about yourself and the guys you met.

try a different approach with guys. Try to learn from your past with guys and apply that to your future.

Okay for example i thought i'd be brave for the first time and gave my number to this guy who was fixing our extracter fan at work we were both flirting with eachother so i thought i'd give my number during the evening i get a text on the phone from him, so we arranged to go out for a drink now the day comes and he texts me he has a girl friend and his sorry for leading me on why text me? other things like if a date a guy for some reason it never leads to a relationship. I am sick and tired of dating guys and it never seems to go further. Why is that? I am myself and i am happy so what is the problem???

OK, me thinks

Fan-guy: office personel (OK, I assume you are not the managing director) usually does not chat up guy fixing fan because he will feel inferior.

I have not enough info on the other guys, please post more.

What's the level of your education, are you generally attractive, what are your interests.

I looked at some of your earlier threads. I am straight to the point talking and believe this being most effective at this time. It will sound boring, but you ought to work on your self esteem and you self confidence. Given the fact that you are around ENA for some time, I strongly feel that you ought to overcome yourself and resolve issues within you.

We will always be here for you.

I've never seen this guy before he just fixed a broken fan. I'm an administrator not a manager or anything like that. I gave my colleague my number to give to him and he took it and texted me then we arranged a date without me knowing he had someone else. People say i'm pretty and have a great body. The thing is i am a confident people and when things happen like this it brings me down and i try finding a way to bring myself back up and then another situation comes up. It's like i'm going round in circles. Getting very fed up and thinking i must accept being alone because no one wants to be with me.

skyblue1,

About the fan guy, to me he does not seem being a compatible mate for you, you likely are out of his league.

You appear more confident than you are.

I looked at your last three threads, you pick on yourself about non-issues.

By your actions, you sort of prove to yourself all the time that it does not work.

Your frustrations about men are just the tip of the iceberg.

You are not an ugly duckling, good men are out there for you.

To get out of this vicious circle, please forget about men for now and look at yourself. Counseling would be a way, but we can also talk about it here.

The issue is that you have low self esteem. Why?

What memories make you not like yourself?

nottoogreen thank you for giving me advise i am very gratful. Counseling is a very good idea but i don't feel i need it i am not drepressed. But i have been twice and it has helped me. I feel it's because i keep on getting let down with men and that makes to feel unattractive. You have a point i should forget about men and work on my self esteem. It just hurts to feel unwanted in a relationship.

I guess is could be my past i was called names plus my ex cheated on me. I feel i'm over the cheating part and i have forgotten about that. Just would like to give my love to others and share life with really.

Counseling is not just when you have depression. Therapy is.

Counseling is about talking, opening up your feelings.

You can talk to a counselor or here.

We are here to listen.

You are young and impatient. The way you want to hookup with the fan guy showed that.

You want love and be loved, everone want's, it's natural.

You do not like yourself because you was called names? Please tell us more.

Thank you helping me. I was called things like big nose and annarexic because i am slim. Also when i was walking on the bus this guy said nice body shame about the face things like that. I've tried self help book and went to a seminier for self help Anothony robbins and these feelings seem to come back.

i feel that i have lost faith in life. Doesn't seem to get better! I know i'm not getting anything out of feeling like this apart from more pain. Just want it to all stop right now.

This is the kind of thing kids call each other. When was that? Did you have any childhood trauma?, family problems.

In away the best thing you could do is to write down your story about what made you unhappy, what you fear as long as you remember. Let it all go. That will make you feel better already. Then we show you that all these problems have a reason and can be overcome.

i feel that i have lost faith in life. Doesn't seem to get better! I know i'm not getting anything out of feeling like this apart from more pain. Just want it to all stop right now.

You avoiding feeling pain will not let it out and you do not get better.

When you are going through hell, keep going!

Here we help each other, it is not some seminar or book.

Many people here have seen much worse than you.

You can read this thread. It's about love and life:

I was called names in school when i was 14/15/16

The story thing i might give a try. I'm sure there are alot of people out there with worst problems than me.

It's the thought of being alone forever and never finding anyone i want to be with. It's a scary thought. just want to avoid being lead on. I think my problem is attention seeking too. how can i stop this?

I was called names in school when i was 14/15/16

 

The story thing i might give a try. I'm sure there are alot of people out there with worst problems than me.

10 years ago, and you still hurt. Today you are an intelligent young woman, you do not have to remain stuck with adolescent's pains!

Please write your story. You will get lot's of input, and you will be better in a few weeks.

Your prince will come. Cheer Up!

It's the thought of being alone forever and never finding anyone i want to be with. It's a scary thought. just want to avoid being lead on. I think my problem is attention seeking too. how can i stop this?

You are attention seeking - Sorry the fan boy again - Because you feel deprived of attention and affection. However you are often defeating yourself because you want too much too quick.

You can learn a lot by reading ENA too.

Anyway, let's hear your story.

Well thought he fancied me because he flirted with me and got the gutts to face my fear and approach a guy first instead of it being the other way. It's crazy i do silly things like walk down the road and see how many men look at me i know it's silly, it's like i'm trying to prove myself. Being 4 1/2 years alone can effort people and you do start thinking what is wrong with me? am i ugly?

It's good you approach someone, but not some guy fixing fans in your office. Nothing wrong with the guy, but you need someone more sophisticated who appreciates you beyond the body.

You got to look at all of yourself. Your fears are a big turnoff.

You make a lot of sense better start focusing on myself! Thanks you have been a great help.

Most likely you are not ugly, at least by what you are saying. However reading your posts I see a pattern and its obvious you do to, thats a good thing. When ever you see a pattern and want to change it you have to look for the common denominator.

The common denominator in all your situations is you. So yes there is something going on with and this is why you are getting into situations that are no good for you.

Have you sat down and seriously thought about and written down your must haves, should haves, could haves in a potential mate? This might help you understand better what you want and what it is you are doing to attract dirt balls.