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  1. #1
    Member Donkey Spice's Avatar
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    Question When Your Soulmate Leaves....

    What happens when you're absolutely, befuddlingly, bamboozingly in love with your soulmate, engaged, and she leaves you? She says a few sentences explaining nothing and turns around and leaves. What the hell are you supposed to do when you made damn sure that she felt the same way you did? What are you supposed to do when that one, perfect person runs away not wanting to talk to you ever again even though you DID NOTHING WRONG?
    How can a person fit you soooooo well but turn out to be a little crazy? What are the odds of finding the next one in a million woman that completes you?
    18 months ago I asked myself these questions and am still asking myself these questions. Not everyday mind you, just when I'm contemplating the meaning of life and seeking answers to questions that have no answers.
    I loved this girl so much, and still do I suppose, that I wasn't angry in the slightest when she left. I really just wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with me. Deep down I know what happened (displaced anger at her ******* father projected towards me) but it has so screwed my personal trust in others.
    I came to the decision that you never can be 100% sure. I've learned that even if you're 99.99999% sure, that .00001% can come back and bite you in the ***.
    I don't really want to get close to anybody now. Even the 18 months without sex hasn't motivated me to seek out companionship.
    Why oh why must life be like this?
    Violence is the diplomacy of the incompetent.

  2. #2
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    I agree, you can never be 100% sure. People change. Their feelings change and their life stages change.

    It's not much consolation I'm sorry but unfortunately it happens.

  3. #3
    Silver Member coollady1957's Avatar
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    I am in agreement as well that there is no way to ever be completely sure of someone.

    I am sorry you had to go through such an ordeal.

    I am sure there will come a day when you have resolved this in your head and heart to a point of desiring to become involved again with someone.

    The best any of us can do in negative circumstances , is to turn it into a learning and growing experience .

    Take care,,,,,,, Coollady1957

  4. #4

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    A few years back, my "soul mate" left me for another guy when we were engaged to be married. So I can relate.

    I sometimes ask how that could've happened, but the bottomline is: There are two sides to every story and she wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I did too. But I learned from them and won't repeat them in the future.

    I miss having a close bond with someone like that, but looking back, I see I was sadly mistaken and she was no more my soul mate than Ed Asner is.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin T
    A few years back, my "soul mate" left me for another guy when we were engaged to be married. So I can relate.

    I sometimes ask how that could've happened, but the bottomline is: There are two sides to every story and she wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I did too. But I learned from them and won't repeat them in the future.

    I miss having a close bond with someone like that, but looking back, I see I was sadly mistaken and she was no more my soul mate than Ed Asner is.
    Mate I was going to post a reply but I think your words totally sum it up. I hope I reach your point.
    The IMB Facts of Life:

    1. No contact, or punch him in the face. Anything else is more than he deserves
    2. Life is not what you see, its how you see it
    3. You can't swim unless you're in the water. So get in it. Then you have a choice. Swim, or drown
    4. Being wrong is an opportunity to be right next time
    5. Suffer, grow, overcome. The path to happiness

  6. #6
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    Donkey I have been in a similar situation and it messed me up and I still don't feel like I want to get close with anybody...

    I keep my heart close to me and not for other people to see...

    ALl I have been doing for the past 8 months are meeting new firends and having sex ...

    I am getting sick of it as it really does not satisfy me deep down...

    I do not want a relationship more than what I have had with any of the women I have met in these 8 months...

    Having sex is nice but having someone there to share your life with and care and be cared for is priceless...

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donkey Spice
    What happens when you're absolutely, befuddlingly, bamboozingly in love with your soulmate, engaged, and she leaves you? She says a few sentences explaining nothing and turns around and leaves. What the hell are you supposed to do when you made damn sure that she felt the same way you did? What are you supposed to do when that one, perfect person runs away not wanting to talk to you ever again even though you DID NOTHING WRONG?
    How can a person fit you soooooo well but turn out to be a little crazy? What are the odds of finding the next one in a million woman that completes you?
    18 months ago I asked myself these questions and am still asking myself these questions. Not everyday mind you, just when I'm contemplating the meaning of life and seeking answers to questions that have no answers.
    I loved this girl so much, and still do I suppose, that I wasn't angry in the slightest when she left. I really just wanted her to be happy even if it wasn't with me. Deep down I know what happened (displaced anger at her ******* father projected towards me) but it has so screwed my personal trust in others.
    I came to the decision that you never can be 100% sure. I've learned that even if you're 99.99999% sure, that .00001% can come back and bite you in the ***.
    I don't really want to get close to anybody now. Even the 18 months without sex hasn't motivated me to seek out companionship.
    Why oh why must life be like this?
    Check my story. Same thing happened to me.

  8. #8
    TheRedQueen's Avatar
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    I don't know why life has a cruel sense of humor in the way it manifests itself, but I do know that the one person you can rely on being with you until the day you die, is yourself. Each and every day I find new reasons to fall in love with myself, not in an egotistical way but rather more in a "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with", way.

  9. #9
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    When your soulmate leaves you broken and bleeding by the curb do you hate them? When your soulmate, whom you trusted with every secret and loved with every ounce of strength, leaves to be with someone else do you feel betrayed? Are you angry with the knowledge that your soulmate whom you dreamed of spending a life together is sharing their bed with someone else? If your soulmate is with another and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they argue and fight a lot do you feel redeemed or just sad of what might have been? Do you lay awake at night staring at the ceiling wondering what might have been? What do you think during these times? Can you forget? Do you still love them? Will you still think of them even if you marry another? Do they still think of you even if they are married to another?

    That person whom you thought would complete you is anything but perfect. The sad truth is that love does not conquer all. There can be only one but sadly, you were not it. Love is not fair. It sucks sometimes. Relationships aren't fair. All we can hope to do is to put our best foot forward, and hope they will come along with you for the ride.

    People don't always do what you want them to do. With each experience though, we grow a little bit. We know about heartache and the depression. It's pain pure and simple. Nothing will relieve that except time. Perhaps someday, the stars will align perfectly and then my friend, give love a chance.

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