A new phase

Cutie101 · 06-04-2006, 03:13 AM

So latly I have been going thru a lot of strees and I dislike my body more and more and I just can't take it and I have started to throw-up my meals....... it's so hard to keep it a secret but everytime I eat I feel discusted with myself and I jsut feel I can't take it anymore, I feel like I am waiting for someone to come and look me straight in the eyes and tell me what I am doing is wrong! Even tho I know it is I just can't stop it, it's like my stress and self-dislike has a greater power then me.

~Serendipity~ · 06-04-2006, 03:18 AM

Is this something you do deliberately? ie. Do you make yourself throw up? Or is it something where you do try and keep your food down but psychologically you are unable to?

You should definitely see a GP or counsellor about this.

What is it in your life that is making you stressed? Are you having relationship problems? Please tell me more...

Cutie101 · 06-04-2006, 03:56 AM

I had written I huge message saying everything that was wrong and it erased

so lets seee if I can star again...

It all started on easter weekend I was really sick.. so sick I started to see animals in my room.. the weeknd after my friend had a b-day party and I had to go so after we had cake I started coughing out of no where I went to the bathroom and stood infron of teh sink and throw up.. it felt so good it felt right.......

School and in community everyone seems to think I am perfect I do so many things but unfortnetly is has kept me away from friends and it's really hard not to be good when people know you are good and tehy spect the best...... I have an avrege of 90% but becuase of math where I have 55% i had brought my grades down a lot, my math teahcer and I can't seem to get along and we really dislike each other, he treats me unfaily and it's not just me saying it other people see it and tell me.. it has gotten to the point of harrasment and becuase I was so busy I never had time to deal with it band now I jsut hope to forget about it, I have no supposrt from my family, they say I am acting childish and that I sohuld grow up.. my parnts exepct me to be goood- no better tehn everyone else I was known in my family for been good at math with a 95% avrege but this year I just can't do it my father said it wasn't good enoht but what can I do when there is actully no way for me to pass with a higher mark he says he wants a least a 78% but how can I get 23% in one week! I have tried my bst and I can't affort to fail.

Freinds and boyfrind: so I started getting distant from ym friends.. but it wasn't like I wasn't there beucase I was it was like my values where not shared anymore.. I have a very intimate ralationship with my bf and we have settled down now not as crazy as before but my friends now care more aobut been fashinable, popular and hanguing out then anyhting.... they use to never do anyhitng on the weekends and all teh sudden they do stuff without telling me and when I accidently over hear I never hear about it agian never get invited. I have this few friedns where I know I can count on... then my bf's friends and me are almost competing for my bf time and they spend sooooooooooo much time with him in a week in school I see him about 10 min a day and on weeknds 5 hours the most and tehn his friends always call him when he is with me and they do plans and tehy take him out to parties.. it dosn't matter if I am not there they wont invite me and my bf doesn't seem to stand up for me.. I nikow he loves me ut he's not the kind that showes off his gf.. I know I am not teh pritties girl in the world but I would hope my bf would be pround of hving a girl like me... even his ,parents say I was the best thing it ever happen to him.. he stppeddrug and alcohol abuse.... but then now it seems like its me going into drinking by myself and smoking a cigarette now and then to calm down.. it's just hard to deal with everything.. be there for everyone and show that I am not affected by other while I am and that it I do get hurrts but I am supost to be the perfect gf, and friend... i just can't handle it................

Cutie101 · 06-04-2006, 03:58 AM

me bf have been going out for 1 year and 7 months and sometimes i throw up on purpose sometimes when i am upset i jus start to caugh and it happens

~Serendipity~ · 06-04-2006, 05:47 AM

Hmmm, I see why you would be feeling stressed out.

As far as your teacher goes, if you feel like you are being harassed and picked on, perhaps you should approach your principal or someone who can have a word to him about it.

There is nothing worse than when the people who should be supportive of you (friends and family included) having such a high standard... but perhaps if you feel that they are putting too much pressure on you, you should have a word to them... you need to set your own limits and your own standards for your life.

Perhaps you need to look for a new group of friends... once that appreciate you and those that don't uninvite you to their social "do's" - friends definitely don't do that!!

Maybe you should have a talk to your boyfriend about spending time with you. Do you ever go to these parties with your bf? I know that Luke didn't spend much time with me so now I go pretty much everywhere with him as I made a point of making friends with his friends... that way I still spend time with him, but we have a social life too.
If they make a point of not inviting you, if I were you I'd want to know what exactly what he is doing at those parties...
If he doesn't want to look at changing this, then perhaps you should rethink the relationship you have with him altogether.

And lastly - I definitely think that you should go and have a chat to your doctor... they have medication that you take before food that helps to keep it all down... whatever you do, you shouldn't let yourself get into the habit of throwing up.... I have been there when I had traumatic events in my life, and it took years to break...

patch2006uk · 06-04-2006, 07:43 PM

there is no excuse for someone pressuring you that much over a maths grade! its just not worth it in the scheme of things. it really is true that you can only do as well as you can do, so as long as you are happy with how you are doing, and you don't feel you are letting yourself down, then that should be all that matters!

And literally 'growing out' of your friends is horrible too - when you feel like you don't agree with their take on life and their views on things. i went through that a while ago. i didn't want to spend time with them anymore, so i went out and made new friends. it was hard, and it wasn't a nice thing to do to people you care about, but i wasn't happy! i still keep in contact with the old ones, i just don't spend much of my time with them. if you're friends are making you miserable, then they aren't worth your time in my opinion. friendships are about supporting each other and sharing interests and activities, not about planning things behind each other's backs and making each other feel awful about themselves!

and the time issues with your boyfriend - have you spoken to him about it? tell him that you want the time you spend together to be special, and you don't want to spend it listening to him making plans for when you arent' doing something together.

throwing up isn't a good way of dealing with all this, but you don't need me to tell you that! you need to tackle the causes of whats making you feel worthless, and then you can heal and build up some self esteem and move on. it won't be easy, but it's your life, and you have to live it how you want.

all the best
x

06-04-2006, 03:13 AM	#1
Cutie101 Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 40	A new phase So latly I have been going thru a lot of strees and I dislike my body more and more and I just can't take it and I have started to throw-up my meals....... it's so hard to keep it a secret but everytime I eat I feel discusted with myself and I jsut feel I can't take it anymore, I feel like I am waiting for someone to come and look me straight in the eyes and tell me what I am doing is wrong! Even tho I know it is I just can't stop it, it's like my stress and self-dislike has a greater power then me.

06-04-2006, 03:18 AM	#2
~Serendipity~ Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Perth, Australia Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 767	Is this something you do deliberately? ie. Do you make yourself throw up? Or is it something where you do try and keep your food down but psychologically you are unable to? You should definitely see a GP or counsellor about this. What is it in your life that is making you stressed? Are you having relationship problems? Please tell me more... __________________ Definition of Serendipity: Good luck in making unexpected and fortunate discoveries...

06-04-2006, 05:47 AM	#5
~Serendipity~ Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Perth, Australia Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 767	Hmmm, I see why you would be feeling stressed out. As far as your teacher goes, if you feel like you are being harassed and picked on, perhaps you should approach your principal or someone who can have a word to him about it. There is nothing worse than when the people who should be supportive of you (friends and family included) having such a high standard... but perhaps if you feel that they are putting too much pressure on you, you should have a word to them... you need to set your own limits and your own standards for your life. Perhaps you need to look for a new group of friends... once that appreciate you and those that don't uninvite you to their social "do's" - friends definitely don't do that!! Maybe you should have a talk to your boyfriend about spending time with you. Do you ever go to these parties with your bf? I know that Luke didn't spend much time with me so now I go pretty much everywhere with him as I made a point of making friends with his friends... that way I still spend time with him, but we have a social life too. If they make a point of not inviting you, if I were you I'd want to know what exactly what he is doing at those parties... If he doesn't want to look at changing this, then perhaps you should rethink the relationship you have with him altogether. And lastly - I definitely think that you should go and have a chat to your doctor... they have medication that you take before food that helps to keep it all down... whatever you do, you shouldn't let yourself get into the habit of throwing up.... I have been there when I had traumatic events in my life, and it took years to break... __________________ Definition of Serendipity: Good luck in making unexpected and fortunate discoveries...

06-04-2006, 07:43 PM	#6
patch2006uk Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: west mids, uk Gender: Female Posts: 136	there is no excuse for someone pressuring you that much over a maths grade! its just not worth it in the scheme of things. it really is true that you can only do as well as you can do, so as long as you are happy with how you are doing, and you don't feel you are letting yourself down, then that should be all that matters! And literally 'growing out' of your friends is horrible too - when you feel like you don't agree with their take on life and their views on things. i went through that a while ago. i didn't want to spend time with them anymore, so i went out and made new friends. it was hard, and it wasn't a nice thing to do to people you care about, but i wasn't happy! i still keep in contact with the old ones, i just don't spend much of my time with them. if you're friends are making you miserable, then they aren't worth your time in my opinion. friendships are about supporting each other and sharing interests and activities, not about planning things behind each other's backs and making each other feel awful about themselves! and the time issues with your boyfriend - have you spoken to him about it? tell him that you want the time you spend together to be special, and you don't want to spend it listening to him making plans for when you arent' doing something together. throwing up isn't a good way of dealing with all this, but you don't need me to tell you that! you need to tackle the causes of whats making you feel worthless, and then you can heal and build up some self esteem and move on. it won't be easy, but it's your life, and you have to live it how you want. all the best x __________________ do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup Last edited by patch2006uk; 06-04-2006 at 07:46 PM.

06-04-2006, 03:56 AM	#3
Cutie101 Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 40	I had written I huge message saying everything that was wrong and it erased so lets seee if I can star again... It all started on easter weekend I was really sick.. so sick I started to see animals in my room.. the weeknd after my friend had a b-day party and I had to go so after we had cake I started coughing out of no where I went to the bathroom and stood infron of teh sink and throw up.. it felt so good it felt right....... School and in community everyone seems to think I am perfect I do so many things but unfortnetly is has kept me away from friends and it's really hard not to be good when people know you are good and tehy spect the best...... I have an avrege of 90% but becuase of math where I have 55% i had brought my grades down a lot, my math teahcer and I can't seem to get along and we really dislike each other, he treats me unfaily and it's not just me saying it other people see it and tell me.. it has gotten to the point of harrasment and becuase I was so busy I never had time to deal with it band now I jsut hope to forget about it, I have no supposrt from my family, they say I am acting childish and that I sohuld grow up.. my parnts exepct me to be goood- no better tehn everyone else I was known in my family for been good at math with a 95% avrege but this year I just can't do it my father said it wasn't good enoht but what can I do when there is actully no way for me to pass with a higher mark he says he wants a least a 78% but how can I get 23% in one week! I have tried my bst and I can't affort to fail. Freinds and boyfrind: so I started getting distant from ym friends.. but it wasn't like I wasn't there beucase I was it was like my values where not shared anymore.. I have a very intimate ralationship with my bf and we have settled down now not as crazy as before but my friends now care more aobut been fashinable, popular and hanguing out then anyhting.... they use to never do anyhitng on the weekends and all teh sudden they do stuff without telling me and when I accidently over hear I never hear about it agian never get invited. I have this few friedns where I know I can count on... then my bf's friends and me are almost competing for my bf time and they spend sooooooooooo much time with him in a week in school I see him about 10 min a day and on weeknds 5 hours the most and tehn his friends always call him when he is with me and they do plans and tehy take him out to parties.. it dosn't matter if I am not there they wont invite me and my bf doesn't seem to stand up for me.. I nikow he loves me ut he's not the kind that showes off his gf.. I know I am not teh pritties girl in the world but I would hope my bf would be pround of hving a girl like me... even his ,parents say I was the best thing it ever happen to him.. he stppeddrug and alcohol abuse.... but then now it seems like its me going into drinking by myself and smoking a cigarette now and then to calm down.. it's just hard to deal with everything.. be there for everyone and show that I am not affected by other while I am and that it I do get hurrts but I am supost to be the perfect gf, and friend... i just can't handle it................

06-04-2006, 03:58 AM	#4
Cutie101 Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 40	me bf have been going out for 1 year and 7 months and sometimes i throw up on purpose sometimes when i am upset i jus start to caugh and it happens