Love is weird

xavierarmadillo · 05-30-2006, 05:30 PM

I was dating a girl for 7 months, and all though we never fought, we also never did anything else. It was pretty boring on my end. I guess she saw things differently. Well I suggested that I needed more sexual experiance before tieing the knot or anything, and honestly I was bored. I didn't want to wonder what I was missing.

Well she agreed and I got my experiance from a girl nearby who was dating someone else also. I figured there was no chance of any issues being she and I both were dating someone and she had a kid.

I was wrong!

We have now been dating 4 months and are fantastic together. No more boredom. Shes the first girl I have been sexually attrated to like a horny toad. Most others I liked for their personality, and I found thats not the best way to do things with relationships.

I guess my post is about how there is no perfect way to meet someone. It can come at you any way, just be open to it. Don't stay with whats good enough, go for what you think you deserve.

Her son is awesome, and I am willing to care for them both. I might have gotten her pregnant anyway.

My ex can't seem to get over me, I find now after we broke up that she is way to clingy and was dating me because she didn't think she could get better. I don't like that. What a waste, she should find someone who makes her the happiest.

For those of you depressed, you'll find the one when your not looking, thats what I find.

Beyondthesea · 05-30-2006, 05:36 PM

Most others I liked for their personality, and I found thats not the best way to do things with relationships.

Well to each his own I guess! Remember looks don't last forever, so you'd better have something to talk about when forever rolls around.

**annie24** · 05-30-2006, 05:37 PM

It sounds to me like your ex is still clinging because you said "you needed more sexual experience before you tied the knot." Now that you have your sexual experiences, I wonder if your ex thinks you will come back to her now.

Have you told your ex it is over between the two of you and you are now with the new woman?

Batya33 · 05-30-2006, 05:39 PM

I'd like to hear your update in one year from now (or even in 6 months from now), after at least some of the lust and newness/excitement fades. That is when it will be important for the two of you to have compatible personalities and values. Sure it can work but your relationship thus far is not an example of a lasting relationship -- for now it is an example of how strong s_xual attraction can be the mainstay of a relationship in the short term. Please don't have children until you've known each other at least a year, still get along despite the lessening s__xual interest, and plan on getting married. Otherwise it's not fair to the children.

xavierarmadillo · 05-30-2006, 05:43 PM

SOrry I should clairify.

Shirey = Ex
Terrie = Current girlfriend

While with Shirey she allowed me to screw around with Terrie while we were still dating. We later broke up when I found I liked Terrie more then Shirey.

Also, I still love Terries personality, but also I am very sexually attracted as well. They go together I think. I think you need them both, not just the one.

We can talk about anything, I mean anything. I have told her things I am ashamed of and feel humiliated by, and the deepest sexual wants. We even just talk about random things. We can have a twig and have fun together with it.

**annie24** · 05-30-2006, 05:47 PM

congrats with terrie!

I think maybe you should cut off contact with Shirey. That may help her move on.

xavierarmadillo · 05-30-2006, 05:49 PM

I just felt like with Shirey it was a rebounnd from the aweful relationship before her with Tonya.

Cute Band Rat · 05-30-2006, 06:08 PM

Xavier, you sound pretty shallow to me...seems to bounce from one relationship to the next..not letting one get cold before you hop into bed with another woman. I agree with the other poster, I'd like an update on how "wonderful" Terrie is in a year. Somehow I bet the story will turn out differently.

xavierarmadillo · 05-30-2006, 06:16 PM

Shallow perhaps, but its been my experiance if you have nothing to talk about with someone and are bored together, then theres not much between you. I mentioned that Shirey and I was boring.

By that I mean we rarely talked about anything. We sat infront of the TV more like strangers in a doctors office.

So if its shallow to be attracted to someone sexually and be able to have worthwhile conversations with them over someone else who you aren't connected to then fine.

Before Shirey I dated Tonya for three years to only find we hated each other but were financially dependant on each other. So it was hard to seperate. I dont want that to happen again.

itsallgrand · 05-30-2006, 06:53 PM

What's a twig?

It sorta sounds like you weren't all that into Shirley for a while. Looking back: were you ever truly attracted to her? Or did you try to make it work bc she was a nice girl type of thing?

Good luck with the new endeavor.

05-30-2006, 05:30 PM	#1
xavierarmadillo Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 8	Love is weird I was dating a girl for 7 months, and all though we never fought, we also never did anything else. It was pretty boring on my end. I guess she saw things differently. Well I suggested that I needed more sexual experiance before tieing the knot or anything, and honestly I was bored. I didn't want to wonder what I was missing. Well she agreed and I got my experiance from a girl nearby who was dating someone else also. I figured there was no chance of any issues being she and I both were dating someone and she had a kid. I was wrong! We have now been dating 4 months and are fantastic together. No more boredom. Shes the first girl I have been sexually attrated to like a horny toad. Most others I liked for their personality, and I found thats not the best way to do things with relationships. I guess my post is about how there is no perfect way to meet someone. It can come at you any way, just be open to it. Don't stay with whats good enough, go for what you think you deserve. Her son is awesome, and I am willing to care for them both. I might have gotten her pregnant anyway. My ex can't seem to get over me, I find now after we broke up that she is way to clingy and was dating me because she didn't think she could get better. I don't like that. What a waste, she should find someone who makes her the happiest. For those of you depressed, you'll find the one when your not looking, thats what I find.

05-30-2006, 05:36 PM	#2
Beyondthesea Offline Gold Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: where the streets have no name Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 1,606	Most others I liked for their personality, and I found thats not the best way to do things with relationships. Well to each his own I guess! Remember looks don't last forever, so you'd better have something to talk about when forever rolls around. __________________ _____________________________ Dreams are renewable, whether you're five or 105, you have a lifetime ahead of you. ~Rev. Dale Turner It's never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise. ~Nancy Thayer Every day you sit back and wait for something to happen is another day lost. ~Jennifer Flavin

05-30-2006, 06:53 PM	#10
itsallgrand Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: following my grace... Gender: None Specified Posts: 6,783	What's a twig? It sorta sounds like you weren't all that into Shirley for a while. Looking back: were you ever truly attracted to her? Or did you try to make it work bc she was a nice girl type of thing? Good luck with the new endeavor. __________________ "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." Mal Pancoast

05-30-2006, 05:37 PM	#3
annie24 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	It sounds to me like your ex is still clinging because you said "you needed more sexual experience before you tied the knot." Now that you have your sexual experiences, I wonder if your ex thinks you will come back to her now. Have you told your ex it is over between the two of you and you are now with the new woman?

05-30-2006, 05:39 PM	#4
Batya33 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,061	I'd like to hear your update in one year from now (or even in 6 months from now), after at least some of the lust and newness/excitement fades. That is when it will be important for the two of you to have compatible personalities and values. Sure it can work but your relationship thus far is not an example of a lasting relationship -- for now it is an example of how strong s_xual attraction can be the mainstay of a relationship in the short term. Please don't have children until you've known each other at least a year, still get along despite the lessening s__xual interest, and plan on getting married. Otherwise it's not fair to the children.

05-30-2006, 05:43 PM	#5
xavierarmadillo Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 8	SOrry I should clairify. Shirey = Ex Terrie = Current girlfriend While with Shirey she allowed me to screw around with Terrie while we were still dating. We later broke up when I found I liked Terrie more then Shirey. Also, I still love Terries personality, but also I am very sexually attracted as well. They go together I think. I think you need them both, not just the one. We can talk about anything, I mean anything. I have told her things I am ashamed of and feel humiliated by, and the deepest sexual wants. We even just talk about random things. We can have a twig and have fun together with it.

05-30-2006, 05:47 PM	#6
annie24 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	congrats with terrie! I think maybe you should cut off contact with Shirey. That may help her move on.

05-30-2006, 05:49 PM	#7
xavierarmadillo Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 8	I just felt like with Shirey it was a rebounnd from the aweful relationship before her with Tonya.

05-30-2006, 06:08 PM	#8
Cute Band Rat Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 239	Xavier, you sound pretty shallow to me...seems to bounce from one relationship to the next..not letting one get cold before you hop into bed with another woman. I agree with the other poster, I'd like an update on how "wonderful" Terrie is in a year. Somehow I bet the story will turn out differently.

05-30-2006, 06:16 PM	#9
xavierarmadillo Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 8	Shallow perhaps, but its been my experiance if you have nothing to talk about with someone and are bored together, then theres not much between you. I mentioned that Shirey and I was boring. By that I mean we rarely talked about anything. We sat infront of the TV more like strangers in a doctors office. So if its shallow to be attracted to someone sexually and be able to have worthwhile conversations with them over someone else who you aren't connected to then fine. Before Shirey I dated Tonya for three years to only find we hated each other but were financially dependant on each other. So it was hard to seperate. I dont want that to happen again.