Estranged from family

sparx · 05-29-2006, 08:42 PM

I'd like to hear from others in this situation. What do you do, when due to cirmumstances you have no control over, you have become estranged from your family? I only speak to my mother. Even though I'd like to there really is no real way for me to being a relationship with my family at this point since too many years have passed. I find this is really making me depressed and even affecting my relationship with friends and male relationships. What do i tell a guy when he ask about my family? please help!

Dako · 05-29-2006, 09:03 PM

Why are you estranged from them, and do you want to reconcile with them?

sparx · 05-29-2006, 09:24 PM

Alot of bad things happened in my family. Its not like we hate each other, we are just not close. I haven't seen them in years and it just too late to try to have a relationship with them. even when we do see each other many years apart, its just very awkward.

Dako · 05-29-2006, 09:31 PM

Sounds familiar to me.
Tell that to your guy. It's not that uncommon to be separated from your family. I have little connection to mine except my mother.
Not every family is like a Disney movie, and sometimes it's best to avoid people who hurt you, even if they share family ties.

FoxLocke · 05-29-2006, 09:36 PM

Yes, it is not uncommon at all to be estranged from family. I am going through that right now, and honestly there are certain members of my family(immediate and distant)that I want no part of.

I don't know if you have been through what I have with family members(emotional and physical abuse), but if it was something bad then don't allow them into your life just to replicate a picture perfect facade of a relationship...That would be even more damaging to you.

However, if things are not bad and you really do want to reconcile you should get in touch with them. Chances are they would relish the chance to get to know you better.

sparx · 05-29-2006, 10:36 PM

thank you all.

Well what i mean is that due to some bad things that occured. (some forms of abuse etc) it drove my family apart. Its not that my extended family actually caused the abuse it just that the stuff that happend didnt allow me to really have a relationship with them anymore b/c of what happend i felt weird so i just stop visiting, and they dont really visit either. I am glad to see however that I am not the only one in this situation. any other advice is welcome

05-29-2006, 08:42 PM	#1
sparx Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 57	Estranged from family I'd like to hear from others in this situation. What do you do, when due to cirmumstances you have no control over, you have become estranged from your family? I only speak to my mother. Even though I'd like to there really is no real way for me to being a relationship with my family at this point since too many years have passed. I find this is really making me depressed and even affecting my relationship with friends and male relationships. What do i tell a guy when he ask about my family? please help!

05-29-2006, 09:03 PM	#2
Dako Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 9,113	Why are you estranged from them, and do you want to reconcile with them?

05-29-2006, 09:24 PM	#3
sparx Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 57	Alot of bad things happened in my family. Its not like we hate each other, we are just not close. I haven't seen them in years and it just too late to try to have a relationship with them. even when we do see each other many years apart, its just very awkward.

05-29-2006, 09:31 PM	#4
Dako Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 9,113	Sounds familiar to me. Tell that to your guy. It's not that uncommon to be separated from your family. I have little connection to mine except my mother. Not every family is like a Disney movie, and sometimes it's best to avoid people who hurt you, even if they share family ties.

05-29-2006, 09:36 PM	#5
FoxLocke Offline Silver Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Across 110th Street Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 1,003	Yes, it is not uncommon at all to be estranged from family. I am going through that right now, and honestly there are certain members of my family(immediate and distant)that I want no part of. I don't know if you have been through what I have with family members(emotional and physical abuse), but if it was something bad then don't allow them into your life just to replicate a picture perfect facade of a relationship...That would be even more damaging to you. However, if things are not bad and you really do want to reconcile you should get in touch with them. Chances are they would relish the chance to get to know you better.

05-29-2006, 10:36 PM	#6
sparx Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 57	thank you all. Well what i mean is that due to some bad things that occured. (some forms of abuse etc) it drove my family apart. Its not that my extended family actually caused the abuse it just that the stuff that happend didnt allow me to really have a relationship with them anymore b/c of what happend i felt weird so i just stop visiting, and they dont really visit either. I am glad to see however that I am not the only one in this situation. any other advice is welcome