my husband has a prostitute addiction

daisy5 · 05-15-2006, 04:13 PM

I have been married for 15 years. Two years ago, I found out my husband had been chronically unfaithful for most all of our marriage. After some digging, I found out that he had been with many prostitutes. Long story short, we broke up, then got back together after he promised many things. One thing he assured me was that his infidelity was over with. Then I was checking the history on his laptop a couple of weeks ago and noticed that he had went to an escort search site and searching for escorts in our city and the one that he had travelled to that night for work. My only resolve is to get a divorce. We have 3 children and I am terrified of trying to take on all of this responsibility myself, but I am worried about my health if I stay with him. I decided two weeks ago that I would not have sex with him again. I need advice on what to say to him and if anyone has heard of this kind of addiction.

Cyberchick · 05-15-2006, 04:18 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have absolutely no experience with this and don't know what you should say. Have you thought about talking this over with a therapist? She might be able to give you some advice on how to confront him with what you suspect about his.

Also, have you gotten tested for HIV and other STDs? That is definitely in order.

Sorry I couldn't be more help to you. Maybe someone else on here can give you better advice.

melrich · 05-15-2006, 04:21 PM

Have you spoken recently to your husband about this? Does he know why you are no longer having sex with him?

BillyJean714 · 05-15-2006, 04:23 PM

I don't know what else to say to this, but:

!. Stick to your commitment of NOT having sex with him.
2. Get tested for all stds, and SPECIFICALLY ask for HPV and HSV-2 antibody testing (which tests for genital warts and herpes).

I was student previously studying in the healthcare field, so I know a little bit about these diseases. It is MUST that you go tested right away, and cross my fingers, I hope you're okay!

About his addiction - well, I'm so sorry to hear about your story. I know that in some areas of the world, where some husbands travel far on business trips or just lesurely vacations (i.e. Asia- more specifically - southeast asia - Thailand) sex tours are commonly offered. That's aslo where stds are an epidemic. I've also seen lots of men who go to Vegas who "have" "wedding rings" on, and witnessed them walking into elevators with young escorts (prostitutes). Oh, and resting areas. commonly, where truckers/traverlors rest, also have prostitution going on. It makes me SICK.

I hope you're okay.

Learning2Fly · 05-15-2006, 04:24 PM

Addicts ALWAYS promise that they will quit - but they cannot. He will need serious therapy and I think it would be fair to ask him to leave the family home until he has proven through treatment and time that he can resist the addiction.

xprincessbugx · 05-15-2006, 04:44 PM

I agree with the above posters. I think that you should not have sex with him, get checked for STD's. I don't blame you for wanting to divorce him, I know I would if I was in that situation and he really needs to get some therapy.

Tigris · 05-15-2006, 08:23 PM

I agree you shouldn't have sex with him.

doyathink · 05-15-2006, 11:52 PM

His actions are hurting no only you but the chrildren as well! Take the kids and leave until he will commit to getting therapy. The kids need a father and you need a husband you can trust. I would also get tested for STD's. Sorry.

daisy5 · 05-16-2006, 07:43 AM

I would like to talk to a therapist but do not have time or money. I am working extra hours to earn some more money. As you can imagine most all of our money has been wasted on my husbands extra curriculur activities.

I did have a blood test done on Friday. I will speak with my doctor in detail about this tomorrow.

daisy5 · 05-16-2006, 07:46 AM

I intend for my next discussion with him to be about our divorce, what will happen to the kids, how he will support them and where each of them will live. I have reached my limit. His problem will be his problem and I will move on with my life.

05-15-2006, 04:13 PM	#1
daisy5 Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3	my husband has a prostitute addiction I have been married for 15 years. Two years ago, I found out my husband had been chronically unfaithful for most all of our marriage. After some digging, I found out that he had been with many prostitutes. Long story short, we broke up, then got back together after he promised many things. One thing he assured me was that his infidelity was over with. Then I was checking the history on his laptop a couple of weeks ago and noticed that he had went to an escort search site and searching for escorts in our city and the one that he had travelled to that night for work. My only resolve is to get a divorce. We have 3 children and I am terrified of trying to take on all of this responsibility myself, but I am worried about my health if I stay with him. I decided two weeks ago that I would not have sex with him again. I need advice on what to say to him and if anyone has heard of this kind of addiction.

05-15-2006, 04:44 PM	#6
xprincessbugx Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 494	I agree with the above posters. I think that you should not have sex with him, get checked for STD's. I don't blame you for wanting to divorce him, I know I would if I was in that situation and he really needs to get some therapy. __________________ Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

05-15-2006, 04:18 PM	#2
Cyberchick Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Age: 33 Posts: 227	I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have absolutely no experience with this and don't know what you should say. Have you thought about talking this over with a therapist? She might be able to give you some advice on how to confront him with what you suspect about his. Also, have you gotten tested for HIV and other STDs? That is definitely in order. Sorry I couldn't be more help to you. Maybe someone else on here can give you better advice.

05-15-2006, 04:21 PM	#3
melrich Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 8,547	Have you spoken recently to your husband about this? Does he know why you are no longer having sex with him?

05-15-2006, 04:23 PM	#4
BillyJean714 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: SoCal Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 773	I don't know what else to say to this, but: !. Stick to your commitment of NOT having sex with him. 2. Get tested for all stds, and SPECIFICALLY ask for HPV and HSV-2 antibody testing (which tests for genital warts and herpes). I was student previously studying in the healthcare field, so I know a little bit about these diseases. It is MUST that you go tested right away, and cross my fingers, I hope you're okay! About his addiction - well, I'm so sorry to hear about your story. I know that in some areas of the world, where some husbands travel far on business trips or just lesurely vacations (i.e. Asia- more specifically - southeast asia - Thailand) sex tours are commonly offered. That's aslo where stds are an epidemic. I've also seen lots of men who go to Vegas who "have" "wedding rings" on, and witnessed them walking into elevators with young escorts (prostitutes). Oh, and resting areas. commonly, where truckers/traverlors rest, also have prostitution going on. It makes me SICK. I hope you're okay.

05-15-2006, 04:24 PM	#5
Learning2Fly Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 8	Addicts ALWAYS promise that they will quit - but they cannot. He will need serious therapy and I think it would be fair to ask him to leave the family home until he has proven through treatment and time that he can resist the addiction.

05-15-2006, 08:23 PM	#7
Tigris Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 47 Posts: 3,540	I agree you shouldn't have sex with him.

05-15-2006, 11:52 PM	#8
doyathink Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Venus Gender: Female Posts: 5,420	His actions are hurting no only you but the chrildren as well! Take the kids and leave until he will commit to getting therapy. The kids need a father and you need a husband you can trust. I would also get tested for STD's. Sorry.

05-16-2006, 07:43 AM	#9
daisy5 Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3	I would like to talk to a therapist but do not have time or money. I am working extra hours to earn some more money. As you can imagine most all of our money has been wasted on my husbands extra curriculur activities. I did have a blood test done on Friday. I will speak with my doctor in detail about this tomorrow.

05-16-2006, 07:46 AM	#10
daisy5 Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3	I intend for my next discussion with him to be about our divorce, what will happen to the kids, how he will support them and where each of them will live. I have reached my limit. His problem will be his problem and I will move on with my life.