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Thread: Am I jealous...of his DOG??!!

  1. #1
    Member whatsagirltodo's Avatar
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    Am I jealous...of his DOG??!!

    Ridiculous...I know! But here's the thing...My boyfriend gives WAYY more attention to his dog than to me!! It's so weird. Is it a guy thing? Is it a dog lover thing? Or is it just weird??!!

    He has this dog...just a little terrier-bichon mix that I find to look like a mutt and not very cute. He is un-trained, un-groomed, extremely hyper, and fed very unhealthy table scraps that my boyfriend refuses to listen to me on how to care for a dog...Basically, I'm trying to say that he doesn't take good care of the dog, yet spoils it like crazy...

    Anyway, the way he talks to this dog drives me up the wall. Not only does he baby-talk the dog, he's constantly telling it things that he doesn't even tell me!! Like "you're so cute" "i love you" ...and it's just really starting to drive me crazy, lol. We'll be on the phone and he'll be like, "aw, you're so cute, I love you" and then I feel like an idiot when he says he was talking to the dog. Last night we were watching a movie and instead of laying beside me...he lays beside the dog!

    I really think i might be jealous of this little tiny mutt and that's making me angry!! Why be jealous of an animal? Maybe it also stems from the fact that my boyfriend will be SO busy and he can't hang out yet I asked him what he did and he "took the dog for a walk" or he "played with the dog"

    Now, he lives with his parents and his parents also take care of the dog and walk him, etc. etc.

    Am I being ridiculous, or is it ridiculous that I feel like I come second to an animal??

    ..and for the record, my boyfriend pretty much is a loner and shy and has no friends, no siblings...maybe that is his attachment?? I have no idea...
    Last edited by whatsagirltodo; 06-12-2006 at 07:57 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
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    Has he had the dog longer than he's been dating you? If so, it could be that he has just a very strong bond with the dog. It was his closest companion for all the times he's been alone. Many people treat their pets as well as some parents do their children (in some cases better). The animal relies on him for everything and he has a responsibility to care for it. Its not that the dog gets walked because he doesn't want to spend time with you, its because the dog must be walked or there will be puppy presents everywhere, not to mention how would it feel to be inside or chained all day long. If you feel that you want your guy to invest more time in you, you're going to have to accept the dog as part of the equation, it would be very unfair to make him choose.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
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    Maybe he is more bonded with his dog than to you. You might not understand it, but dogs are very important to some folks. Dogs are often more loyal than humans.

    I have a strong attatchment to my 15 year old pup (on the left) and get all weepy when I see her at my ex's house. I don't feel that way about my ex wife at all.

    I'd recommend making peace with your adversary or finding a guy without a canine companion.
    << Vigilance.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Momene's Avatar
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    Well at the 1 year mark, you would expect him to spend more time with you BUT ... my daughter and I have a lot of nice chats about school, life and everything WHILE walking our dog.

    I cuddle our dog a lot but my wife and daughter are first in the queue for cuddles.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member southerngirl's Avatar
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    First of all as I respond to this post I must say im an animal lover and a dog lover so I may be a bit biased.

    This brings back happy memories of a dog my family had. I loved her and she was a mixed dog.. Chiawa (mispelled) and something else. We fed her unhealthy table scraps spoiling her rotten. We let her have full run of the house, I told her my secrets we had some great talks.. Her looking at me with those loyal dog eyes even if I looked like WW3 sick with the flu! She lived 19 years and the day we had to put her to sleep because of tumors was a day I will never forget. I cried and cried and mourned for her. A companion animal (dog cat bird whatever) can become a friend. If you have never had the love for an animal you probally wouldnt understand. People can become quite crazy about their pets LOL

    To get close to this man you are going to have to accept and even love his dog. It was there before you were. If this is something you can not face a future that involves pets then you need to find yourself a man that does not like animals. Just from what you have put here one can imagine that he will allways have a dog in his life, if not this dog then another dog. I have a dog.. She's a beagle and I have a cat too! They are spoiled pets too and well, my husband thinks its cute =)
    A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.

    Latin Proverb

  7. #6
    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    Anyway, the way he talks to this dog drives me up the wall. Not only does he baby-talk the dog, he's constantly telling it things that he doesn't even tell me!! Like "you're so cute" "i love you" ...and it's just really starting to drive me crazy, lol. We'll be on the phone and he'll be like, "aw, you're so cute, I love you" and then I feel like an idiot when he says he was talking to the dog. Last night we were watching a movie and instead of laying beside me...he lays beside the dog!
    I am also a huge animal lover. I talk to my cat in baby talk and say all the silly things your BF says to his dog. My cat sleeps on my head or under my arm every night and cuddles with me....my husband is an independent sleeper and does not like to be cuddled once he falls asleep. So me and the cat are like 2 peas in a pod. She follows me everywhere and like me better than she likes my husband.

    My husband makes fun of me and the cat all the time. I won't repeat exactly what he says...but he makes several jokes about my bond with my cat, using the "p word"

    I think he is a little jealous of my cat. But not too much because I give him just as many compliments as the cat and show him affection (of course).

    I don't think your boyfriend's dog would bother you so much if you felt like you were getting enough affection from him to begin with. My guess is that this probably isn't really about the dog, but more about you feeling ignored in general and not feeling like a priority in his life.

    My advice would be to tell him that you feel neglected...without even having to bring up the dog issue, and see how he responds to it.

    BellaDonna
    Carly, don't be sad
    Life is crazy, life is mad
    Don't be afraid
    Carly, don't be sad
    That's your destiny, the only chance
    Take it, take it in your hands



    Well behaved women rarely make history.

  8. #7
    Gold Member Meow18's Avatar
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    I agree with BellaDonna.

    Talk to him about it. Or maybe if he's cute talking his dog, you jokingly say "I wish you told me those things". Of course it wouldn't really be a joke, but that could be a good way to bring it up.

    Or maybe if he's cuddling his dog while you are both watching a movie, then perhaps you could ask him to save some cuddling for you.

    As an animal lover, I can get like that too. So I don't think your boyfriend is weird. Some people do get attached to their pets. But I also don't forget about my boyfriend. I don't think you are crazy. If you don't feel like you are getting what you want, then it's ok to feel the way you do.
    *Committing your love to someone means losing the chance to experience another person's love. So just be sure the person you are committed to deserves your love or else itís not worth the sacrifice.

    *Forget who hurt you yesterday, but don't forget who loves you today.

  9. #8
    Gold Member scarew's Avatar
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    Just a little piece of advice. And just so you know I can really relate to you being jealous of the dog. I would be jealous too. But I also am in love with my cat. She has been there for me when my entire family hasn't. I got her when I first moved out on my own when I was 16, and she can make anything better, really. Bottom line though, you feel jealous, and whether you have a right to feel jealous or not, if you tell him that he pays too much attention to his dog it WILL NOT go over well. And I'm sure we all know this.

    What I would do is try really hard to fall in love with his dog too. Even if you have to fake it at first. my cat and I moved in with my bf, and he is NOT a cat person. But the more he warmed up to her, the easier it was for me to pay more attention to him and less to the cat. Not sure why. But if you spoil his dog too, it might just work out in your favor.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Dako's Avatar
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    I agree that you should seek affection from him without mentioning the dog's treatment. The dog can't stick up for itself, so he'll do it.
    I often was suspicious of people who didn't like my dog. If my dog didn't like them, it colored my opinion of them.
    << Vigilance.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member BellaDonna's Avatar
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    I often was suspicious of people who didn't like my dog. If my dog didn't like them, it colored my opinion of them
    Funny that you mention that. My cat is very sociable and needy and acts more like a dog than any cat I've ever seen. She always hides under the bed when people I don't particularly like too much come over.....

    I think if my husband told me he was "jealous of the cat" and felt neglected as a result, I would find it funny/immature and not take it as seriously. I would be much more receptive to a general discussion about his feelings and how he wants more affection/attention (without having to bring the kitty into it lol)


    BellaDonna
    Carly, don't be sad
    Life is crazy, life is mad
    Don't be afraid
    Carly, don't be sad
    That's your destiny, the only chance
    Take it, take it in your hands



    Well behaved women rarely make history.

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