any hope of a friendship?

teacup · 04-21-2006, 02:05 PM

well i've posted up my story before. how i met some guy1, was dating him for a few weeks, started to feel there was something really wrong about him and the whole situation. went out with his good friend twice, had a great time. it was such a difference. with guy1 it felt miserable and so difficult, and with guy2 it was natural and easy and fun and happy.

they found out from each other and guy2 shut me out completely. so i continued to try to make things work with guy1 (which was HUGE mistake), he is a really bad person and hides it well, manipulates, deceives, lies, plays games, uses ppl. ended up sleeping with him which freaked me out. ended things with him....i would not want him for all the gold in the world now. it would not be worth it. im afraid of him. i think he's capable of anything - and a lot of ppl might think he's a nice, charming guy and not believe me.....but i know my truth, i know what he put me through.

so is there any hope of ever becoming friends with guy2?? sometimes i'll think of something funny and want to tell him. i'll be reminded of little bits of humor i think he would get, and i'll remember that he laughs and we had fun laughing together for the brief time we knew each other. and i miss that, it's very rare for me to find someone who clicks with my sense of humor. i actually DONT think i would ever want to go out with him again (it wouldn't work) or even to be very close to him (because of his crazy abusive friend).....but i wonder when i will find someone to share my sense of humor with again. i think it's about 4-5 months since i talked to him. (only 7 wks since i last saw his friend).

sometimes i think of inviting him out for a drink in a couple of months like near his birthday. or IMing him some funny links that i found. should i? has it been long enough?

the ironic thing is he told me a story about his exgf cheating on him with his best friend and how he was so mad he didn't talk to her for a year (but they were friends for 6 yrs and i haven't known him that long). i get the feeling he shuts ppl out when he's angry and has done this to quite a few girls, but dont know if he would be willing to talk to me. guy1 said that guy2 feels strongly that neither of them should ever talk to me again (but then guy1 is a big jerk).

i dont know if i should even try. how did something that felt so right go so wrong? it's weird.

i miss having someone who laughs with me and "gets" my humor.

certainly, i dont think it's possible to be friends when there are angry, bitter, betrayed feelings. but i wonder if it would be possible one day and when...i wonder.

Diggitydave · 04-21-2006, 02:09 PM

well....to be completely honest, if the only way to get to a 7'11 is down one road and the road is closed. Looks like no slurpee.

ElektraHere · 04-21-2006, 02:19 PM

Teacup,

Move on dear! This is a road that leads to nowhere. These two guys will be friends and you will get the shaft everytime.
Get out, move on, and be more decerning in your choice of men.

teacup · 04-21-2006, 02:21 PM

im not hooked on the situation (i think i will be fine either way), i am getting better and better, even if he shoots me down, i would be okay.

but i've never been the type of person not to try again, one day.

hmm, i guess no then. never been through anything like this. guess it's a learning process. oh well. hopefully i'll think clearer in the long-run.

04-21-2006, 02:05 PM	#1
teacup Offline Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 28 Posts: 1,088	any hope of a friendship? well i've posted up my story before. how i met some guy1, was dating him for a few weeks, started to feel there was something really wrong about him and the whole situation. went out with his good friend twice, had a great time. it was such a difference. with guy1 it felt miserable and so difficult, and with guy2 it was natural and easy and fun and happy. they found out from each other and guy2 shut me out completely. so i continued to try to make things work with guy1 (which was HUGE mistake), he is a really bad person and hides it well, manipulates, deceives, lies, plays games, uses ppl. ended up sleeping with him which freaked me out. ended things with him....i would not want him for all the gold in the world now. it would not be worth it. im afraid of him. i think he's capable of anything - and a lot of ppl might think he's a nice, charming guy and not believe me.....but i know my truth, i know what he put me through. so is there any hope of ever becoming friends with guy2?? sometimes i'll think of something funny and want to tell him. i'll be reminded of little bits of humor i think he would get, and i'll remember that he laughs and we had fun laughing together for the brief time we knew each other. and i miss that, it's very rare for me to find someone who clicks with my sense of humor. i actually DONT think i would ever want to go out with him again (it wouldn't work) or even to be very close to him (because of his crazy abusive friend).....but i wonder when i will find someone to share my sense of humor with again. i think it's about 4-5 months since i talked to him. (only 7 wks since i last saw his friend). sometimes i think of inviting him out for a drink in a couple of months like near his birthday. or IMing him some funny links that i found. should i? has it been long enough? the ironic thing is he told me a story about his exgf cheating on him with his best friend and how he was so mad he didn't talk to her for a year (but they were friends for 6 yrs and i haven't known him that long). i get the feeling he shuts ppl out when he's angry and has done this to quite a few girls, but dont know if he would be willing to talk to me. guy1 said that guy2 feels strongly that neither of them should ever talk to me again (but then guy1 is a big jerk). i dont know if i should even try. how did something that felt so right go so wrong? it's weird. i miss having someone who laughs with me and "gets" my humor. certainly, i dont think it's possible to be friends when there are angry, bitter, betrayed feelings. but i wonder if it would be possible one day and when...i wonder. Last edited by teacup; 04-21-2006 at 02:07 PM.

04-21-2006, 02:09 PM	#2
Diggitydave Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Bucks, County PA Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 790	well....to be completely honest, if the only way to get to a 7'11 is down one road and the road is closed. Looks like no slurpee. __________________ Fight through pain, fight through guilt and shame, fight and don't let your feelings control your destiny, show the world who you are, and NEVER give up! You are special, precious, and very important no matter what you did or was done to you!

04-21-2006, 02:21 PM	#4
teacup Offline Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 28 Posts: 1,088	im not hooked on the situation (i think i will be fine either way), i am getting better and better, even if he shoots me down, i would be okay. but i've never been the type of person not to try again, one day. hmm, i guess no then. never been through anything like this. guess it's a learning process. oh well. hopefully i'll think clearer in the long-run. Last edited by teacup; 04-21-2006 at 02:24 PM.

04-21-2006, 02:19 PM	#3
ElektraHere Offline Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: West Coast Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 2,379	Teacup, Move on dear! This is a road that leads to nowhere. These two guys will be friends and you will get the shaft everytime. Get out, move on, and be more decerning in your choice of men.