girl in class trying to use me for homework

teacup · 04-17-2006, 10:17 AM

yup. i really believe this girl in class is trying to use me. i gave her my number, i was trying to be friendly, but i dont want to be used! i don't deserve that and i won't let her use me.

i felt like she didn't really want to have a conversation with me or get to know me. im not really interested in her either as a person.

but she called me up yesterday and told me that while she was studying at the library someone stole her notes for class. she asked if she could photocopy my notes. and i said "okay, which ones?" and she said last tuesday and thursday. then she asked if i could meet her monday, i said i wasnt in school on monday (what? like i should rush to school just to give her my notes?) and she said she could meet me on tuesday and i told her where i would be and she said she would just call me tuesday.

but i really dont want to give her my notes now. even though she smiles and says hi and sits next to me in class. i think she lied about having her notes stolen at the library....so, what do i do?

how do i respond? i feel angry and would like to just tell her off.

TheLegend · 04-17-2006, 10:24 AM

well giving her your notes is no big deal if you ask me.. you're not doing anything extra, you're just giving her your notes that you already took, she can take them from someone else. If she's lieing than it'd disturb me but you can't be sure, plus why would she even need to lie.. I don't think it's much of a deal..

teacup · 04-17-2006, 10:26 AM

i think she's lying. i feel really uncomfortable. i doubt someone would just walk in the library and steal someone's notes. textbook mabe. backpack mabe. calculator mabe. but just notes? makes no sense.

i dont want to be used.

**BellaDonna** · 04-17-2006, 10:36 AM

I would say since you already told her that you would give her the notes, let her photocopy them this one time (at a time that is convenient for YOU). Then just don't be available the next time she asks.

BellaDonna

ElektraHere · 04-17-2006, 10:38 AM

Teacup

You have some issues that you need to work out. It seems the people you let in your life are using you (the guys you post about). This gal just sounds like a typical classmate. I have done that myself especially if I missed class for the week. I have asked for notes just as others have with me.
If you dont want to give her your notes then dont but no use in getting angry about nothing.

Come on use some common sense!

I agree with Legend this doesnt seem like a huge problem. With her notes being taken it can happen or perhaps someone came by and threw them away because sometimes notes can look like garbage I know mine do at times. Again if you dont want to give her your notes then don't.

**annie24** · 04-17-2006, 10:44 AM

I did that all the time in college and grad school. I agree with elektra, maybe somone just accidentally trashed her notes. or maybe she misplaced them.

It's been my experience that this is a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" thing. You let her borrow your notes, and then one day, if you are sick and can't make it to class, she'll let you borrow hers. I photocopied my notes for people all the time - and they always returned the favor. I definately got through college as a result of teamwork.

I don't feel like she's using you. She would be if she wanted the answers to the homework assignment she didn't do.

I guess, like bella said, if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't give her your notes in the future.

Boricua7 · 04-17-2006, 10:52 AM

I say, give her the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes stuff happens, you know? If she continues to need your notes then I would put a stop to it. This is the first time she has asked you for your notes, right? It should be the last if she is being honest. If she's not, she will more than likely ask for them again sometime soon. Just don't be available for her the next time she needs your notes. You already committed to letting her photocopy your notes so go through with that. Just don't let her think that she can just miss class and have your notes whenever she wants to.

teacup · 04-17-2006, 10:57 AM

im in the earlier lecture, and she's in the second. i attend both lectures so i know my notes are very good. and i know she noticed i go to both, she said i must be very hardworking right? i asked her how was her springbreak, tried to chat, it didnt seem like she really wanted to talk or share. but she sits next to me in class and asks me about what the teacher said here, or this other part she missed on the notes etc. and i dont really feel like answering anymore.

i mean, nobody wants to be wanted only for their schoolwork right? im starting to feel bad and annoyed.

i dont think that im automatically suspicious but im not sure, i have a bad feeling.

**annie24** · 04-17-2006, 11:11 AM

why is this such a big deal? if it makes you feel uncomfortable, simply say no and move on.

I'm just saying, i don't think she's necessarily using you. so what if she doesn't want to be your best friend? she maybe just wants to keep the chitchat at the school level. and that's fine! when you are absent, she'll give you her notes!

In college, I'd always find the "smartest, most studious" people and ask to study with them. because I wanted to pick their brains a little and figure out how they studied. some of us became friends, others didn't, but I always pulled "my part."

when you are sick one day, or if you lose your notes, who will you get the notes from?

renaissancewoman101 · 04-17-2006, 11:15 AM

Teacup, I agree with annie24, just keep the door open since you never know when you might need her notes. I was always nice to people in my college classes because you never know when you might need their help or their notes. Plus, it was a good idea to get their take on the class or the subject at hand. Different perspective. Comes in handy when needing new ideas for projects.

04-17-2006, 10:17 AM	#1
teacup Offline Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 28 Posts: 1,088	girl in class trying to use me for homework yup. i really believe this girl in class is trying to use me. i gave her my number, i was trying to be friendly, but i dont want to be used! i don't deserve that and i won't let her use me. i felt like she didn't really want to have a conversation with me or get to know me. im not really interested in her either as a person. but she called me up yesterday and told me that while she was studying at the library someone stole her notes for class. she asked if she could photocopy my notes. and i said "okay, which ones?" and she said last tuesday and thursday. then she asked if i could meet her monday, i said i wasnt in school on monday (what? like i should rush to school just to give her my notes?) and she said she could meet me on tuesday and i told her where i would be and she said she would just call me tuesday. but i really dont want to give her my notes now. even though she smiles and says hi and sits next to me in class. i think she lied about having her notes stolen at the library....so, what do i do? how do i respond? i feel angry and would like to just tell her off.

04-17-2006, 10:24 AM	#2
TheLegend Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 248	well giving her your notes is no big deal if you ask me.. you're not doing anything extra, you're just giving her your notes that you already took, she can take them from someone else. If she's lieing than it'd disturb me but you can't be sure, plus why would she even need to lie.. I don't think it's much of a deal.. __________________ From lashes to ashes, From lust to dust It's about quality not quantity. People say the glass is half full, they don't say of what! Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett When a man talks dirty 2 a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty 2 a man, it's $3.95 per min WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON, BUST OUT THE TEQUILA AND SALT When someone you love hurts you; cry a river, build a bridge, GET OVER IT! ;)

04-17-2006, 10:36 AM	#4
BellaDonna Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: U.S. Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 6,583	I would say since you already told her that you would give her the notes, let her photocopy them this one time (at a time that is convenient for YOU). Then just don't be available the next time she asks. BellaDonna __________________ "Well behaved women rarely make history." "Friendship should be a refuge, not an ordeal." Please see the forum rules for posting on enotalone:http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php

04-17-2006, 10:52 AM	#7
Boricua7 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South Georgia Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 707	I say, give her the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes stuff happens, you know? If she continues to need your notes then I would put a stop to it. This is the first time she has asked you for your notes, right? It should be the last if she is being honest. If she's not, she will more than likely ask for them again sometime soon. Just don't be available for her the next time she needs your notes. You already committed to letting her photocopy your notes so go through with that. Just don't let her think that she can just miss class and have your notes whenever she wants to. __________________ "If there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts." - excerpt from Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" in Nilo Cruz's play "Anna in the Tropics"

04-17-2006, 10:57 AM	#8
teacup Offline Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 28 Posts: 1,088	im in the earlier lecture, and she's in the second. i attend both lectures so i know my notes are very good. and i know she noticed i go to both, she said i must be very hardworking right? i asked her how was her springbreak, tried to chat, it didnt seem like she really wanted to talk or share. but she sits next to me in class and asks me about what the teacher said here, or this other part she missed on the notes etc. and i dont really feel like answering anymore. i mean, nobody wants to be wanted only for their schoolwork right? im starting to feel bad and annoyed. i dont think that im automatically suspicious but im not sure, i have a bad feeling. Last edited by teacup; 04-17-2006 at 11:02 AM.

04-17-2006, 10:26 AM	#3
teacup Offline Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 28 Posts: 1,088	i think she's lying. i feel really uncomfortable. i doubt someone would just walk in the library and steal someone's notes. textbook mabe. backpack mabe. calculator mabe. but just notes? makes no sense. i dont want to be used.

04-17-2006, 10:38 AM	#5
ElektraHere Offline Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: West Coast Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 2,379	Teacup You have some issues that you need to work out. It seems the people you let in your life are using you (the guys you post about). This gal just sounds like a typical classmate. I have done that myself especially if I missed class for the week. I have asked for notes just as others have with me. If you dont want to give her your notes then dont but no use in getting angry about nothing. Come on use some common sense! I agree with Legend this doesnt seem like a huge problem. With her notes being taken it can happen or perhaps someone came by and threw them away because sometimes notes can look like garbage I know mine do at times. Again if you dont want to give her your notes then don't.

04-17-2006, 10:44 AM	#6
annie24 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,819	I did that all the time in college and grad school. I agree with elektra, maybe somone just accidentally trashed her notes. or maybe she misplaced them. It's been my experience that this is a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" thing. You let her borrow your notes, and then one day, if you are sick and can't make it to class, she'll let you borrow hers. I photocopied my notes for people all the time - and they always returned the favor. I definately got through college as a result of teamwork. I don't feel like she's using you. She would be if she wanted the answers to the homework assignment she didn't do. I guess, like bella said, if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't give her your notes in the future.

04-17-2006, 11:11 AM	#9
annie24 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,819	why is this such a big deal? if it makes you feel uncomfortable, simply say no and move on. I'm just saying, i don't think she's necessarily using you. so what if she doesn't want to be your best friend? she maybe just wants to keep the chitchat at the school level. and that's fine! when you are absent, she'll give you her notes! In college, I'd always find the "smartest, most studious" people and ask to study with them. because I wanted to pick their brains a little and figure out how they studied. some of us became friends, others didn't, but I always pulled "my part." when you are sick one day, or if you lose your notes, who will you get the notes from?

04-17-2006, 11:15 AM	#10
renaissancewoman101 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the land by the sea Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 8,563	Teacup, I agree with annie24, just keep the door open since you never know when you might need her notes. I was always nice to people in my college classes because you never know when you might need their help or their notes. Plus, it was a good idea to get their take on the class or the subject at hand. Different perspective. Comes in handy when needing new ideas for projects.