It just feels so unfair!

blink_guy · 04-13-2006, 07:47 PM

ok so a few months ago i got caught for smoknig weed...ive only done it three times and stoppped but somehow 2 months later the school found out so i told my parents...this was in febuary or so and i am still groudned!I know what i did was wrong but marijuana is so ramptant and my parents jus dont understand that...and i try talking to them and they wont even give me the courtesy of having a full indivded convresation with me...what can i do?

NJRon · 04-13-2006, 07:50 PM

That's pretty pathetic. It's stunts like that that turn a little experimentation into a whole lifestyle. I mean, if you are going to get punished like that, what's to keep you from becoming a total pothead...

Talk to your school counselor about it. Hopefully, they can arrange to have you all get togetehr in a neutral meeting and actually discuss it. It sounds like your parents have some issues to ground you so hard and not even talk to you.

Skippy · 04-13-2006, 09:28 PM

you wronged. accept the punishment. it isnt unfair.
take it as a lesson learnt.
Your parents is making it clear to ou that drugs is wrong.

Lunabelle · 04-13-2006, 09:42 PM

People who discipline their teens like this are only shoving them out the door faster. Your parents sound really out of touch to me.

Punishment needs to fit the crime. Am I understanding this, you got 2 months grounding for smoking weed? Stupid, stupid.

I'm willing to bet your parents did LOTS of stupid (and possibly unlawful) stuff in their youth.

NJRon is right......although personally I'd be a bit nervous about bringing in the whole school counselor.

More than likely this is just one of many, many issues they refuse to discuss with you for whatever reasons. It's too bad. They could use this as such a opportunity to ask you about it and how you felt and why you wanted to do it, etc. Instead they stick their head in the sand and no doubt walk around proud for being the disciplinarian.

Good luck to ya, kid! Keep on posting if you need more help.

Skippy · 04-13-2006, 10:19 PM

seem like you guys think that smoking weed is ok??
hmm i suppose it is upbinging

Lunabelle · 04-14-2006, 04:37 PM

Heya Skippy -- I DO NOT think breaking the law is okay. Children and young adults do need appropriate punishment regardless of the situation.

Blink Guy -- try to be cool here. You won't win any friends by barking. When you post at a place like this, you will get all kinds of answers from all kinds of people. You might try looking at it as if Skippy is just a handy "representative" of people with similar opinions to your parents.

I have 16 years parenting experience but twice that many with drug and alcohol experiences! I guarantee you, I've never, ever found someone who was robbing, stealing and murdering people to be able to smoke pot. Now alcohol, cocaine, meth, heroin, all that stuff? People will do ANYTHING to get more once they are hooked. And you can get hooked very very quickly.

Frankly I do not believe the line that marijuana is a "gateway" drug. Whoever came up with that has no experience with drugs, period.

Blink, let's face it -- you're probably not going to be able to "re-educate" your parents about it, I doubt they'll ever change their mind. I'm so glad you mentioned your Asian background -- that says loads about your parents! You know they love you and want what's best for you, but they can only do the best they can, and that's what they are doing.

I suggest you keep your act together in all ways. You need to reassure them, that you're not going to be some evil drug user or drug pusher.

When I was caught smoking the devil weed as a teen, I pointed out that I was a straight-A student, had ambition (college plans), held down a part-time job, I showed them I wasn't on the path to being a heroin addict, I had simply made a mistake in a decision. Young adulthood is when you are supposed to make your mistakes, yes?

I think if this is one of many problems you're having, then they may be right in really clamping down on you. But if you are otherwise a together person, perhaps they've gone overboard in their punishment.

However, this may be a good time for you to step up and realize, you won't be living at home forever. I know, like most teenagers, you live this double life, of who you are at home versus who you are outside home. But know that this is just a temporary stage in your life right now -- soon, just a few years -- you'll be out on your own. You may consider that since they are supporting you, providing for you, maybe the least you can do is just lie low for a while, get back on their "good side" and be way more careful in the future.

I'm not advocating drug use or breaking the law.

I am advocating that parents WAKE UP and get real about how pervasive pot is in their kids lives, find out why the kids want to get high (do you even know?) and make it discussion point not a "shut-down" point. In my experience, parents who can't discuss drugs with their kids probably also cannot discuss all the other important stuff either.

Having said all that Blink, know that your parents love you like no one else in the world. They would die for you. They would step in front of a train for you. Don't take advantage of that love. Try to love them back in spite of your current feelings.

itsallgrand · 04-14-2006, 08:35 PM

You're lucky blink. Grounding is no big deal in this situation.

My aunt had my cousin arrested for smoking weed. Left him in jail for the night. He never did it again.

Lunabelle · 04-15-2006, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by itsallgrand

He never did it again.

hmmm....not as far as anyone knows, anyway

blink_guy · 04-15-2006, 10:09 PM

well the thing is ive only done it 3 times in january and then i said "this is the last time im going to do it" and it was then in march someone ratted us out for w/e reason...an now its aprill so thats also another reason why im so upset about it

Lunabelle · 04-16-2006, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blink_guy

w/e reason

what does this mean?

04-13-2006, 07:47 PM	#1
blink_guy Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 301	It just feels so unfair! ok so a few months ago i got caught for smoknig weed...ive only done it three times and stoppped but somehow 2 months later the school found out so i told my parents...this was in febuary or so and i am still groudned!I know what i did was wrong but marijuana is so ramptant and my parents jus dont understand that...and i try talking to them and they wont even give me the courtesy of having a full indivded convresation with me...what can i do?

04-13-2006, 07:50 PM	#2
NJRon Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New Jersey Gender: Male Age: 39 Posts: 3,242	That's pretty pathetic. It's stunts like that that turn a little experimentation into a whole lifestyle. I mean, if you are going to get punished like that, what's to keep you from becoming a total pothead... Talk to your school counselor about it. Hopefully, they can arrange to have you all get togetehr in a neutral meeting and actually discuss it. It sounds like your parents have some issues to ground you so hard and not even talk to you. __________________ I just don't get it! She seems totally uninterested in me, despite my smothering obsessiveness! - Nathanial Mayweather I'm not the moose! Nor am I a certified advice giver of any kind... so take everything I say as my opinion... throw away what doesn't work and keep what does. - Me

04-13-2006, 09:42 PM	#4
Lunabelle Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Sunny California Gender: Female Posts: 183	People who discipline their teens like this are only shoving them out the door faster. Your parents sound really out of touch to me. Punishment needs to fit the crime. Am I understanding this, you got 2 months grounding for smoking weed? Stupid, stupid. I'm willing to bet your parents did LOTS of stupid (and possibly unlawful) stuff in their youth. NJRon is right......although personally I'd be a bit nervous about bringing in the whole school counselor. More than likely this is just one of many, many issues they refuse to discuss with you for whatever reasons. It's too bad. They could use this as such a opportunity to ask you about it and how you felt and why you wanted to do it, etc. Instead they stick their head in the sand and no doubt walk around proud for being the disciplinarian. Good luck to ya, kid! Keep on posting if you need more help. __________________ "Nothing is worth more than this day" --Goethe

04-14-2006, 04:37 PM	#6
Lunabelle Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Sunny California Gender: Female Posts: 183	Heya Skippy -- I DO NOT think breaking the law is okay. Children and young adults do need appropriate punishment regardless of the situation. Blink Guy -- try to be cool here. You won't win any friends by barking. When you post at a place like this, you will get all kinds of answers from all kinds of people. You might try looking at it as if Skippy is just a handy "representative" of people with similar opinions to your parents. I have 16 years parenting experience but twice that many with drug and alcohol experiences! I guarantee you, I've never, ever found someone who was robbing, stealing and murdering people to be able to smoke pot. Now alcohol, cocaine, meth, heroin, all that stuff? People will do ANYTHING to get more once they are hooked. And you can get hooked very very quickly. Frankly I do not believe the line that marijuana is a "gateway" drug. Whoever came up with that has no experience with drugs, period. Blink, let's face it -- you're probably not going to be able to "re-educate" your parents about it, I doubt they'll ever change their mind. I'm so glad you mentioned your Asian background -- that says loads about your parents! You know they love you and want what's best for you, but they can only do the best they can, and that's what they are doing. I suggest you keep your act together in all ways. You need to reassure them, that you're not going to be some evil drug user or drug pusher. When I was caught smoking the devil weed as a teen, I pointed out that I was a straight-A student, had ambition (college plans), held down a part-time job, I showed them I wasn't on the path to being a heroin addict, I had simply made a mistake in a decision. Young adulthood is when you are supposed to make your mistakes, yes? I think if this is one of many problems you're having, then they may be right in really clamping down on you. But if you are otherwise a together person, perhaps they've gone overboard in their punishment. However, this may be a good time for you to step up and realize, you won't be living at home forever. I know, like most teenagers, you live this double life, of who you are at home versus who you are outside home. But know that this is just a temporary stage in your life right now -- soon, just a few years -- you'll be out on your own. You may consider that since they are supporting you, providing for you, maybe the least you can do is just lie low for a while, get back on their "good side" and be way more careful in the future. I'm not advocating drug use or breaking the law. I am advocating that parents WAKE UP and get real about how pervasive pot is in their kids lives, find out why the kids want to get high (do you even know?) and make it discussion point not a "shut-down" point. In my experience, parents who can't discuss drugs with their kids probably also cannot discuss all the other important stuff either. Having said all that Blink, know that your parents love you like no one else in the world. They would die for you. They would step in front of a train for you. Don't take advantage of that love. Try to love them back in spite of your current feelings. __________________ "Nothing is worth more than this day" --Goethe Last edited by Lunabelle; 04-14-2006 at 04:40 PM.

04-13-2006, 09:28 PM	#3
Skippy Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 418	you wronged. accept the punishment. it isnt unfair. take it as a lesson learnt. Your parents is making it clear to ou that drugs is wrong.

04-13-2006, 10:19 PM	#5
Skippy Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 418	seem like you guys think that smoking weed is ok?? hmm i suppose it is upbinging

04-14-2006, 08:35 PM	#7
itsallgrand Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: following my grace... Gender: None Specified Posts: 6,798	You're lucky blink. Grounding is no big deal in this situation. My aunt had my cousin arrested for smoking weed. Left him in jail for the night. He never did it again.

04-15-2006, 10:09 PM	#9
blink_guy Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 301	well the thing is ive only done it 3 times in january and then i said "this is the last time im going to do it" and it was then in march someone ratted us out for w/e reason...an now its aprill so thats also another reason why im so upset about it