Yup...im offically the male version of a mistress...

italianstalian · 04-08-2006, 03:26 PM

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DN · 04-08-2006, 03:28 PM

But the biggest mistake is to allow her to use you the way she is. I hope that while you are Italy being away from her will allow some sense to overwhelm the emotions that are leading you to harm yourself like this.

RayKay · 04-08-2006, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DN

But the biggest mistake is to allow her to use you the way she is. I hope that while you are Italy being away from her will allow some sense to overwhelm the emotions that are leading you to harm yourself like this.

And I hope you realize that BEFORE you leave for Italy as doing this from now to then will only hurt you even more.

You are really hurting yourself by doing this. She was horrible to you, why are you giving her the "reward" of being with her?

Your mistake would be in continuing this relationship with her.

yeawutever · 04-08-2006, 03:35 PM

She's treating both you and her current b/f like crap. If she does break up with her b/f and you guys get back together, she'll cheat on you again like she did last time. You're still young, go find someone who will value and respect you and do NC with her. No point in one being the other guy.

italianstalian · 04-08-2006, 03:35 PM

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RayKay · 04-08-2006, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by italianstalian

You think you guys are tellin me something i dont know...like, stayin with her is gonna hurt me?? ..........im well aware of this............my problem is i cant leave........and idk y.........

Actually, you CAN leave. You are making a choice not to though.

Do you honestly think not being with her is that much more horrible then being used, being the "other man", being led on, being with someone whom cheated on you and shows you little respect? If you do...I can tell you it isn't. You will hurt, but you will also heal.

yeawutever · 04-08-2006, 03:40 PM

Italianstalian have you thought that what you're experiencing now is not love, but maybe you don't want to be alone, or being co-dependent on her. You don't need her aproval, you can move on.

DN · 04-08-2006, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RayKay

Actually, you CAN leave. You are making a choice not to though.

Exactly - this is something you can choose not to do. You are not helpless here and can make a decision - decide wisely.

italianstalian · 04-08-2006, 03:44 PM

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Boricua7 · 04-08-2006, 03:46 PM

I know why you "can't" leave. You are allowing yourself to dwell in relationship purgatory because you still love her and with this you are afraid of fully letting her go because you are afraid that you will never find someone better. Plus, the fact that you are giving her current bf what's coming to him has got to be quite satisfying, no matter how evil it sounds. I think you may be co-dependent on her. I posted about co-dependecy disorder a long time ago and I think you should read up on it.

You are putting her up on a pedastal. She is treating both you and her current bf with such disrespect that it is disturbing. She is using you to get her kicks and using her current bf as a sense of stability. She sounds like the kind of girl who doesn't allow herself to be single for long. This shows that there is something very wrong with her. The fact that she feels she needs to have someone even if it's not someone she cares enough for to respect throws up all kinds of red flags to me.

Hopefully your time in Italy will give you a chance to be away from her, think, and gain a better perspective on things. I promise you there is someone bigger and better out there for you. Don't be afraid to let your ex go because you don't want to have to make the effort of finding this better person or simply because you don't want to have to wait around for something better. Also, don't be afraid that you will never find something like what you had with her. You don't want what you had with her, you want something better. You want all of the good things minus the bad and it can be found in another woman. Trust me.

Having her is quite convenient for you but is it satisfying enough for you to put yourself through this torture? You already know you can't get back together with her even if she wanted you back, so why are you doing this? Even if it sounds bad, answer this. You don't have to post your answer but be honest with yourself. I'm sure you know the answer.

04-08-2006, 03:26 PM	#1
italianstalian Offline Join Date: May 2005 Location: BOSTON Age: 21 Posts: 267	Yup...im offically the male version of a mistress... 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 Last edited by italianstalian; 01-13-2007 at 12:55 AM.

04-08-2006, 03:28 PM	#2
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,441	But the biggest mistake is to allow her to use you the way she is. I hope that while you are Italy being away from her will allow some sense to overwhelm the emotions that are leading you to harm yourself like this. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

04-08-2006, 03:35 PM	#4
yeawutever Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 5,671	She's treating both you and her current b/f like crap. If she does break up with her b/f and you guys get back together, she'll cheat on you again like she did last time. You're still young, go find someone who will value and respect you and do NC with her. No point in one being the other guy. __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!! Still in a LDR with boyfriend.

04-08-2006, 03:35 PM	#5
italianstalian Offline Join Date: May 2005 Location: BOSTON Age: 21 Posts: 267	hdsljfdsalfjdasflaskjsadfjaskjsa; Last edited by italianstalian; 01-13-2007 at 01:21 AM.

04-08-2006, 03:40 PM	#7
yeawutever Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 5,671	Italianstalian have you thought that what you're experiencing now is not love, but maybe you don't want to be alone, or being co-dependent on her. You don't need her aproval, you can move on. __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!! Still in a LDR with boyfriend.

04-08-2006, 03:44 PM	#9
italianstalian Offline Join Date: May 2005 Location: BOSTON Age: 21 Posts: 267	iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Last edited by italianstalian; 01-13-2007 at 01:21 AM.

04-08-2006, 03:46 PM	#10
Boricua7 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: South Georgia Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 707	I know why you "can't" leave. You are allowing yourself to dwell in relationship purgatory because you still love her and with this you are afraid of fully letting her go because you are afraid that you will never find someone better. Plus, the fact that you are giving her current bf what's coming to him has got to be quite satisfying, no matter how evil it sounds. I think you may be co-dependent on her. I posted about co-dependecy disorder a long time ago and I think you should read up on it. You are putting her up on a pedastal. She is treating both you and her current bf with such disrespect that it is disturbing. She is using you to get her kicks and using her current bf as a sense of stability. She sounds like the kind of girl who doesn't allow herself to be single for long. This shows that there is something very wrong with her. The fact that she feels she needs to have someone even if it's not someone she cares enough for to respect throws up all kinds of red flags to me. Hopefully your time in Italy will give you a chance to be away from her, think, and gain a better perspective on things. I promise you there is someone bigger and better out there for you. Don't be afraid to let your ex go because you don't want to have to make the effort of finding this better person or simply because you don't want to have to wait around for something better. Also, don't be afraid that you will never find something like what you had with her. You don't want what you had with her, you want something better. You want all of the good things minus the bad and it can be found in another woman. Trust me. Having her is quite convenient for you but is it satisfying enough for you to put yourself through this torture? You already know you can't get back together with her even if she wanted you back, so why are you doing this? Even if it sounds bad, answer this. You don't have to post your answer but be honest with yourself. I'm sure you know the answer. __________________ "If there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts." - excerpt from Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" in Nilo Cruz's play "Anna in the Tropics" Last edited by Boricua7; 04-08-2006 at 03:52 PM.