Wow, thread with 2 parts! Sorry!

[lovecrazy]

Only pne part of this has something do due with family, the other part is medicial. I am sorry if this is the wrong place to post it!


I have been having issues in my relationship, some have read my previous posts, and the problems are still there, but are being worked on.

But I think I might be pregnant, I have been having cramps that come with the monthly visit, but I havent started yet, and this is going on close to two weeks, I have been trying to wait to take a test, because I honestly dont know how I would feel about this. Part of me wants a child, but part of me realizes, it would be hard to raise a child in this point in time. I am going to go after work today and get a test, then go from there.

I also am fearful, there is something medically wrong, (I had some issues the last few months, and I have yet to find out what it is)

My biggest concern right now, will my boyfriend and I be able to raise a child together, or if we will split and he will never see the child, that is the tradition that seems to follow in his family, (not sure who's fault that is, his or his father's) and my father wasnt around much.

I believe I could raise a child alone, I have no problem with that. I am women enough to open my legs, I am women enough to raise a child, as best I can. But what I am afraid of is him leaving, like his father, did and my father did. And if we do have a child, him/her not knowing my boyfriend.

I doubt he would just get scared and take off. And if he did, well what can you do.

I was just wondering anyone with advice. I am honestly thinking my period is just acting stupid, and I am not pregnant. If I am its a blessing, God does work in different ways.

I guess I am just looking for words of encouragement. Rather I am pregnant, or there is just something medically wrong with me.

I am going to speak with my boyfriend, on my fears, of him not being there. I just need to wait a few days, because of his work load. And we had an arguement this weekend over his ex. Which didnt get anything accomplished!

Advice please.....

[RayKay]

Well first off...waiting to find out if you are or aren't won't CHANGE the outcome, so I think it is better you actually take a test and find out where you stand rather then worry about the what if's at this point, and if you are, you can get the medical care you need.

If you have been having issues, it could too be related to that. Have you had any testing for possible causes?

There are no guarantees..if you are, he may not stick around forever, I can't guarantee that. My dad left when my mother was 7 months pregnant with my baby sister. It sucks, but his behaviour does not reflect on all men, or even on my current boyfriend in the least.

I think the best thing to do is take a test and find out where you stand, and deal with it as it comes. We as humans have a great capacity to adapt...and no matter what the reason (pregnant or medical) I have faith you can handle it and grow stronger from it.

[lovecrazy]

Thanks RayKay you always make me feel better

Wish you lived in GA

[RayKay]

Originally Posted by Winschica

Thanks RayKay you always make me feel better

Wish you lived in GA

Well even if I don't, I can still send you some virtual hugs

Let us know how it goes.

[lovecrazy]

Thanks chcia

HUGS

[lovecrazy]

well....the test came back positive....now to tell the father OH lord and my parents...I am 22 and my mother still sees me as a kid....I do not know what to do now

[RayKay]

Originally Posted by Winschica

well....the test came back positive....now to tell the father OH lord and my parents...I am 22 and my mother still sees me as a kid....I do not know what to do now

Hey Sweetie,

Yikes, well. This is not going to be easy, pregnancy is never easy, and parenting is even harder if you choose to go that route (as opposed to adoption or abortion), however as I said before, people adapt, and you can do it.

22 is not a kid, but it is certainly young and it certainly will be a huge life change...but you can definitely do it, many do.

I suggest you first tell Win, and then move on to your parents. And call a doctor to get in for a consult or referral to an OB/GYN, they need to make sure you and the baby are healthy and having a healthy pregnancy. Hiding it won't make it go away and can endanger your health and the babies severely and I do not want to see that happen.

First talk to Win though.

Hugs,

RayKay

[lovecrazy]

in person or can I do it on the phone

[Hope75]

Hey Girl,

It would be preferable to do it in person- but is that realistic for you? Does he live close by? Have a car? Perhaps you need to tell him that you need to talk to him.

Were you using protection? Do you know how it happened?

How is your relationship with him? Is he a good boyfriend? Treat you well? Do you think he will be supportive of this pregnancy?

[lovecrazy]

Originally Posted by Hope75

Hey Girl,

It would be preferable to do it in person- but is that realistic for you? Does he live close by? Have a car? Perhaps you need to tell him that you need to talk to him.

Were you using protection? Do you know how it happened?

How is your relationship with him? Is he a good boyfriend? Treat you well? Do you think he will be supportive of this pregnancy?

We didnt use protection, I guess both of our mistake....I went ahead and told him on the phone last night...He said his first thought was Hmmm a kid, I can teach him this and that...

Then his reasoning kicked in, and he feels we are not ready for a child. Financially one, and second where we are in our lives. I just said we have to be ready...and I understood how he feels.

He overall is a great boyfriend, we do have our issues. He does treat me well better than anyone ever has...I think it will take him a while to be supportive, becuase he feels we arent ready....

I do feel since I opened up my legs, I can raise this child. I do not believe in abortion, I will not do it. I wont put my child up for adoption.