Need serious advice about this *terrible* situation.

drafter · 03-26-2006, 08:40 AM

I don't mean to be a downer or anything, and I am sorry this is so long, I can't think of any other way than telling the whole story. I have been up literally for 5 hours trying to write this while trying hard not to relive it.

I am really hesitant about posting this...

I am in the middle of the worst situation ever and really don't have anyone to turn to for any advice that will help.

I don't even know where to begin, it's such a long story and I am at the end of my rope.

2 years ago, my fiancee suddenly developed congestive heart failure from a lifetime of cardiomyopathy. That same day she had to have two open heart surgeries and almost didn't survive the second. But she did and was immediately put up for a heart transplant. They only gave her a year and a half to live in the best case.

Before this, I had never met or heard anything of her parents besides a few terrible stories about them. I knew these were not good people...

If anyone reads this, and can't believe anyone would do this, if you have been anywhere near true white-trash then you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Well, she made it through the surgeries, and immediately she started being bullied into moving back to her home state. (by bullied, I mean arguing and shouting at her to tears days after her surgery. the nurses even told them to cut it out or they'd have to leave.) She finally agreed as long as I could go with her I had NO problem with that, but I had serious reservations about it because I knew full well what I was about to get into.

Well I went with her back to her town, into a, you guessed it..., trailer where her mother and her internet boyfriend lived. And from there, all hell broke loose...

In the very FIRST week,
They demanded that she pay them $800 to "reimburse" them for the time they took off work when she was sick.
They also demanded that she start paying rent (she never paid rent before she got sick,) that strangely equalled the same amount as her disability check, and was twice the rent a month on that trailer. When I confronted them about it, they said it's because she gets free money and can't pull her own weight anymore.

Keep in mind, she only had a small savings and this check. She was never going to work again, so they were just going to live or buy beer with the only money she would have.

We absolutely refused, and they shut off the heat to her room in the middle of November, still in the first month of her recovery. ... this is so hard to relive...
but the next morning she went to go take her medicine and found it was missing. She asked her mom's boyfriend where it was, and completely oblivious to her condition said "Until you start paying rent, you aren't getting your medicine."

I went ballistic and confronted him about it, and came face to face with his gun. He said "I best stay out of it." I called the hospital back in Virginia to try and tell them how seriously she needs her medicine, and they said she can't go more than four hours without one of them, and he GRUDGINGLY and very pissed off dug them out of the TRASH!!! (They have since taken her medicine away on 2 other occasions. Not including once when her little druggy brother took them to get "high" and we found them hidden in his room and tons missing.

From that day forth it only got worse, and they despised me. They knew that it would be hard to pull any of that schemey redneck stuff with a stranger in their little ecosystem.

Her dad, on the other hand, even though he's JUST as bad, had a little compassion for her and offered a place to live, and we moved a few miles to his small house. He really didn't want either of us there. He has serious SERIOUS insecurity issues about his house and anyone living there drove him nuts. He started making life hell there for us too.

This guy has, what I suspect, is some kind of brain injury (not joking) He can't spell, can't hardly talk consistently, and can't understand anything you say to him, which I would feel bad about, if he wasn't so dangerous.
Every week he would go on a tyrade thinking I was going to run away with her back to my state (which was a damn fine idea, but there was no way I even could if I wanted to) but he obsessed over this to UNHEALTHY levels. And one day he came up with the most terrible plan that he unloaded one night when he came home and started screaming at her.

It went like this:
-He and her mom gathered a bunch of stuff like old poetry books from high-school and some of her dad's drugs and present them to the mental health people there in town and have her committed.
-Next, while she would be committed, they were going to go to the "good ol' boy" judge FRIEND they had and have her deemed disabled and incompetent and put fully in their custody so they would have her in their control and someone who wants her to be safe can't say a thing about it.

The next day, sure enough, the police came to pick her up. I barely reasoned with him enough to please reconsider this and talk it over more because having her committed for those reasons will most likely disqualify her for a heart. I told him their reasons, and that they weren't good enough to kill her over.

Too make this long back-story short, it came to a head a few days later and he had his crooked policeman friend come and rough me up and told me that I had to leave.

I had no choice... from what I had seen already there was a good chance I'd be taken into the hills and shot or something.

I made a plan to go back to my state, save up enough money quickly for me to come back, get her and move to a city there in her state.

So I did. I came in the middle of the night and got her and we moved into a great place less than an hour from her hospital.

After a few times of her dad showing up at my door threatening me, things became normal. And her and I were happy. We've lived almost two years here trying to put her awful scumbag parents out of our minds completely.

Well, a little over two weeks ago, she was finally called for a heart transplant. It didn't go well. The heart didn't work, and the transplant was a failure. They rigged her with two ventricular pumps to keep her alive, but they said she wasn't going to make it

A few days later... and it was a miracle, her heart started to beat on it's own. They nurtured it, and finally it started working spectacularly! No damage, no problem beating, and they claim her Ejection Fraction is 13% better than a normal healthy person.

This was the happiest day of my life.

Just the happiest day. My love came back from the brink of death.

It didn't last long.... Saturday, three days after she was taken off the pumps, and after the first time she was awake just the day before,
I went out to my car to make the trip to the hospital.

...It wasn't there.

I called the police and they said it had been reposessed(!!) I told them how it was MINE, paid outright and I needed to get to the hospital. The woman on the phone said it was towed by "****** transportation"
I said "GOD, that's my fiancee's mother's company"
and she said it was phoned in by HER MOTHER the night before.

See, we had to get a PERFECT car to make sure that we could make the drive to the hospital safely a while back. Her mother worked for a towing company and had a brand new Blazer that they could sell to me cheap, so me and my family got together and bought it.

Keep in mind, this stay at the hospital, her parents and I had actually been getting along. I thought they had changed for some dumb reason...

Well, I called her mother, and she said she "just heard" what happened from her work, and she said the previous owner had a lien on the car and that it's been towed to their branch in Indiana and even if I could get it back it would cost thousands to pay it off and have it towed back and being that it was through her company she can fake anything and cover her tracks.

I already knew what they were up to, if you haven't guessed... they are eliminating her choice to live here when she gets out. Her father is going to tell them all kinds of lies about me, including not having a car.
These people, even after hearing all of this, will never believe me, because it's my word against a never-do-wrong "caring" father.

And he knows it's wrong too. Otherwise he'd be in the open with her about it. He knows she's fighting hard right now to get well so she can come home to HER home and her life. She would never willingly give her great life up to go live in that hell again.

Well, I managed to pull together once more and will be getting another car on Monday that is newer and nicer than the old one, so that aspect is fine, but I am worried OUT OF MY MIND that she's laying there unconcious fighting to get well and her parents are destructing her life piece by piece and are going to have her trapped. She got a second chance at life, her life, and her parents are going, no holds barred to take it away.

I need advice on what I can do to make sure she doesn't get forced into ANYTHING she doesn't want at all times. I want to make sure that she's safe from them and their "connections" with the police coercing people and doing things like getting custodianship over her that will trap her for the rest of the life that she has earned more than anyone I know.

DN · 03-26-2006, 08:50 AM

Marry her immediately when she is able to consent and then you get to be the legal next of kin that makes any decisions for her that she can't make on her own.

southerngirl · 03-26-2006, 09:57 AM

I want you to know im crying now reading this. I cant help it. Im SO SORRY all this is going on. As the previous poster suggested, MARRY HER if you love her do it. Then you are her legal voice.
Live each day as it's your last and make her your wife. Good Luck and Best Wishes.

drafter · 03-26-2006, 09:58 AM

That's one very good option. I hope I have time to do that before she gets dragged off with them.

RandomAdvisor · 03-26-2006, 09:59 AM

Yes! Absolutely, you must marry her as soon as possible! Legally you will trump her evil parents. And my god, the things you have gone through because of these people. I would recommend you and your soon to be wife also get a restraining order filed against them as well.

Is there anything else you have that might connect you to them? Such as the car? If so, get rid of it.

smilelikeyoumeanit · 03-26-2006, 01:24 PM

Yes, maybe you could get a restraining order against them right now, though that might be hard with their "connections". I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. You may only be able to get a restraining order once your girlfriend is comprehensive though...

drafter · 03-27-2006, 03:46 AM

What are your thoughts on her having some kind of advocate informed and watching her at the hospital to make sure she is safe?

RandomAdvisor · 03-27-2006, 08:50 AM

That depends on what you're trying to keep her safe from. Instructions could be left to not allow any of her family members to have access to her, but that would probably have to come from her directly to be followed. Also, if the family comes in there with some sort of a court order to move her and you're not her husband there wont be anything you can do.

drafter · 03-27-2006, 10:23 AM

I just found out that they have called and tried to dig information from my property owner. She said they were asking very invasive questions, like when our lease was up, has there been any trouble with them etc.

drafter · 03-27-2006, 11:32 AM

... and I just found out someone inquired to what my password was with my internet company. I can't stand this. They are sitting there with her right now, and at the same time making calls to build something to ruin her life.

03-26-2006, 08:40 AM	#1
drafter Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8	*Need serious advice about this terrible* situation. I don't mean to be a downer or anything, and I am sorry this is so long, I can't think of any other way than telling the whole story. I have been up literally for 5 hours trying to write this while trying hard not to relive it. I am really hesitant about posting this... I am in the middle of the worst situation ever and really don't have anyone to turn to for any advice that will help. I don't even know where to begin, it's such a long story and I am at the end of my rope. 2 years ago, my fiancee suddenly developed congestive heart failure from a lifetime of cardiomyopathy. That same day she had to have two open heart surgeries and almost didn't survive the second. But she did and was immediately put up for a heart transplant. They only gave her a year and a half to live in the best case. Before this, I had never met or heard anything of her parents besides a few terrible stories about them. I knew these were not good people... If anyone reads this, and can't believe anyone would do this, if you have been anywhere near true white-trash then you will know exactly what I am talking about. Well, she made it through the surgeries, and immediately she started being bullied into moving back to her home state. (by bullied, I mean arguing and shouting at her to tears days after her surgery. the nurses even told them to cut it out or they'd have to leave.) She finally agreed as long as I could go with her I had NO problem with that, but I had serious reservations about it because I knew full well what I was about to get into. Well I went with her back to her town, into a, you guessed it..., trailer where her mother and her internet boyfriend lived. And from there, all hell broke loose... In the very FIRST week, They demanded that she pay them $800 to "reimburse" them for the time they took off work when she was sick. They also demanded that she start paying rent (she never paid rent before she got sick,) that strangely equalled the same amount as her disability check, and was twice the rent a month on that trailer. When I confronted them about it, they said it's because she gets free money and can't pull her own weight anymore. Keep in mind, she only had a small savings and this check. She was never going to work again, so they were just going to live or buy beer with the only money she would have. We absolutely refused, and they shut off the heat to her room in the middle of November, still in the first month of her recovery. ... this is so hard to relive... but the next morning she went to go take her medicine and found it was missing. She asked her mom's boyfriend where it was, and completely oblivious to her condition said "Until you start paying rent, you aren't getting your medicine." I went ballistic and confronted him about it, and came face to face with his gun. He said "I best stay out of it." I called the hospital back in Virginia to try and tell them how seriously she needs her medicine, and they said she can't go more than four hours without one of them, and he GRUDGINGLY and very pissed off dug them out of the TRASH!!! (They have since taken her medicine away on 2 other occasions. Not including once when her little druggy brother took them to get "high" and we found them hidden in his room and tons missing. From that day forth it only got worse, and they despised me. They knew that it would be hard to pull any of that schemey redneck stuff with a stranger in their little ecosystem. Her dad, on the other hand, even though he's JUST as bad, had a little compassion for her and offered a place to live, and we moved a few miles to his small house. He really didn't want either of us there. He has serious SERIOUS insecurity issues about his house and anyone living there drove him nuts. He started making life hell there for us too. This guy has, what I suspect, is some kind of brain injury (not joking) He can't spell, can't hardly talk consistently, and can't understand anything you say to him, which I would feel bad about, if he wasn't so dangerous. Every week he would go on a tyrade thinking I was going to run away with her back to my state (which was a damn fine idea, but there was no way I even could if I wanted to) but he obsessed over this to UNHEALTHY levels. And one day he came up with the most terrible plan that he unloaded one night when he came home and started screaming at her. It went like this: -He and her mom gathered a bunch of stuff like old poetry books from high-school and some of her dad's drugs and present them to the mental health people there in town and have her committed. -Next, while she would be committed, they were going to go to the "good ol' boy" judge FRIEND they had and have her deemed disabled and incompetent and put fully in their custody so they would have her in their control and someone who wants her to be safe can't say a thing about it. The next day, sure enough, the police came to pick her up. I barely reasoned with him enough to please reconsider this and talk it over more because having her committed for those reasons will most likely disqualify her for a heart. I told him their reasons, and that they weren't good enough to kill her over. Too make this long back-story short, it came to a head a few days later and he had his crooked policeman friend come and rough me up and told me that I had to leave. I had no choice... from what I had seen already there was a good chance I'd be taken into the hills and shot or something. I made a plan to go back to my state, save up enough money quickly for me to come back, get her and move to a city there in her state. So I did. I came in the middle of the night and got her and we moved into a great place less than an hour from her hospital. After a few times of her dad showing up at my door threatening me, things became normal. And her and I were happy. We've lived almost two years here trying to put her awful scumbag parents out of our minds completely. Well, a little over two weeks ago, she was finally called for a heart transplant. It didn't go well. The heart didn't work, and the transplant was a failure. They rigged her with two ventricular pumps to keep her alive, but they said she wasn't going to make it A few days later... and it was a miracle, her heart started to beat on it's own. They nurtured it, and finally it started working spectacularly! No damage, no problem beating, and they claim her Ejection Fraction is 13% better than a normal healthy person. This was the happiest day of my life. Just the happiest day. My love came back from the brink of death. It didn't last long.... Saturday, three days after she was taken off the pumps, and after the first time she was awake just the day before, I went out to my car to make the trip to the hospital. ...It wasn't there. I called the police and they said it had been reposessed(!!) I told them how it was MINE, paid outright and I needed to get to the hospital. The woman on the phone said it was towed by "**** transportation" I said "GOD, that's my fiancee's mother's company" and she said it was phoned in by HER MOTHER the night before. See, we had to get a PERFECT car to make sure that we could make the drive to the hospital safely a while back. Her mother worked for a towing company and had a brand new Blazer that they could sell to me cheap, so me and my family got together and bought it. Keep in mind, this stay at the hospital, her parents and I had actually been getting along. I thought they had changed for some dumb reason... Well, I called her mother, and she said she "just heard" what happened from her work, and she said the previous owner had a lien on the car and that it's been towed to their branch in Indiana and even if I could get it back it would cost thousands to pay it off and have it towed back and being that it was through her company she can fake anything and cover her tracks. I already knew what they were up to, if you haven't guessed... they are eliminating her choice to live here when she gets out. Her father is going to tell them all kinds of lies about me, including not having a car. These people, even after hearing all of this, will never believe me, because it's my word against a never-do-wrong "caring" father. And he knows it's wrong too. Otherwise he'd be in the open with her about it. He knows she's fighting hard right now to get well so she can come home to HER home and her life. She would never willingly give her great life up to go live in that hell again. Well, I managed to pull together once more and will be getting another car on Monday that is newer and nicer than the old one, so that aspect is fine, but I am worried OUT OF MY MIND that she's laying there unconcious fighting to get well and her parents are destructing her life piece by piece and are going to have her trapped. She got a second chance at life, her life, and her parents are going, no holds barred to take it away. I need advice on what I can do to make sure she doesn't get forced into ANYTHING she doesn't want at all times. I want to make sure that she's safe from them and their "connections" with the police coercing people and doing things like getting custodianship over her that will trap her for the rest of the life that she has earned more than anyone I know. Last edited by drafter; 03-31-2006 at 10:48 PM.

03-26-2006, 08:50 AM	#2
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,445	Marry her immediately when she is able to consent and then you get to be the legal next of kin that makes any decisions for her that she can't make on her own. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

03-26-2006, 09:57 AM	#3
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	I want you to know im crying now reading this. I cant help it. Im SO SORRY all this is going on. As the previous poster suggested, MARRY HER if you love her do it. Then you are her legal voice. Live each day as it's your last and make her your wife. Good Luck and Best Wishes. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

03-26-2006, 01:24 PM	#6
smilelikeyoumeanit Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 157	Yes, maybe you could get a restraining order against them right now, though that might be hard with their "connections". I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. You may only be able to get a restraining order once your girlfriend is comprehensive though... __________________ Smile <3

03-26-2006, 09:58 AM	#4
drafter Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8	That's one very good option. I hope I have time to do that before she gets dragged off with them.

03-26-2006, 09:59 AM	#5
RandomAdvisor Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: East Coast Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 1,669	Yes! Absolutely, you must marry her as soon as possible! Legally you will trump her evil parents. And my god, the things you have gone through because of these people. I would recommend you and your soon to be wife also get a restraining order filed against them as well. Is there anything else you have that might connect you to them? Such as the car? If so, get rid of it.

03-27-2006, 03:46 AM	#7
drafter Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8	What are your thoughts on her having some kind of advocate informed and watching her at the hospital to make sure she is safe?

03-27-2006, 08:50 AM	#8
RandomAdvisor Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: East Coast Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 1,669	That depends on what you're trying to keep her safe from. Instructions could be left to not allow any of her family members to have access to her, but that would probably have to come from her directly to be followed. Also, if the family comes in there with some sort of a court order to move her and you're not her husband there wont be anything you can do.

03-27-2006, 10:23 AM	#9
drafter Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8	I just found out that they have called and tried to dig information from my property owner. She said they were asking very invasive questions, like when our lease was up, has there been any trouble with them etc.

03-27-2006, 11:32 AM	#10
drafter Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8	... and I just found out someone inquired to what my password was with my internet company. I can't stand this. They are sitting there with her right now, and at the same time making calls to build something to ruin her life.