Can guys in their 20s have a midlife crisis?

Phoenix_girl · 03-01-2006, 05:50 PM

Is it possible for guys in like their mid to late 20s to go through an early midlife crisis?

My ex and i stayed relatively close, but in like the past year or so ive seen signs of depression and he's been really moody. Does seem to take pleasure in anything, became really selfish and uncompromising. It's almost like he became the exact opposite of who he was. I've known him since he was 24 and he had wanted to be settled down by the time he was 26.....but as of now hes 27, still lives at home, has a crappy job that doesn't pay much, doesnt have a car of his own. he kept saying he needed to fix his life, clear his head etc.

Is he having a mid-life crisis? will he return to his old self once he finds what hes looking for?

**annie24** · 03-01-2006, 05:53 PM

I don't think it's a "mid-life crisis." I think that the 20s are just a time of huge personal growth. He probably won't be the person he was before, because he's going to grow and change, one way or another.

Phoenix_girl · 03-01-2006, 05:56 PM

if hes changing its for the worse. he used to be full of life and happy and always laughing.....now everything is "meh' to him and he jsut doesnt seem to care anymore. and in Nov his brother apprently took quite ill so im worried about him....truth is i havent talked to him since the end of nov.

**annie24** · 03-01-2006, 06:00 PM

Well, he's your ex, so he's not your worry anymore.

Phoenix_girl · 03-01-2006, 06:01 PM

He is [was] also my best friend.

**annie24** · 03-01-2006, 06:04 PM

I know it's hard, but if you haven't talked since Nov, you don't really know what's going on through his head. You can't help him unless he really asks for your help. I'm sure he'll get through it. Most people I know in their 20s go through some kind of crisis or another.....

keenan · 03-01-2006, 06:05 PM

I call it a quarter life crisis. Sometimes people go through growth spurts, for better or worse. My ex (and also best friend) is going through something similar, though the outer circumstances are different--fancy condo, amazing job, shopping for a porsche--but he's angry and depressed and selfish and completely uncompromising...a different person, nearly overnight. I don't understand it, either.

Phoenix_girl · 03-01-2006, 06:09 PM

its hard. I went through my own little life crisis recently so i can kind of relate to him, but hes also very private about his feelings, so he would never come right out and say what he was feeling. i know i can't really help him, i just......i guess i just want to know if i'll ever get my best friend back :P

chai714 · 03-01-2006, 06:35 PM

A mid-life crisis does not exist. There is no such thing. It's yet another attempt at trying to explain why a person is facing difficulties in their life. The real and simple answer is that the choices they make directly affect their lives. Unless you want to call common symptoms of aging such as balding, memory loss, lower metabolism a "mid-life crisis," then it otherwise does not exist.

keenan · 03-01-2006, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chai714

A mid-life crisis does not exist. There is no such thing. It's yet another attempt at trying to explain why a person is facing difficulties in their life. The real and simple answer is that the choices they make directly affect their lives. Unless you want to call common symptoms of aging such as balding, memory loss, lower metabolism a "mid-life crisis," then it otherwise does not exist.

It seems to me that if guys in their 40s and 50s view this particular unpleasant constellation of events as a crisis, it's their prerogative. As a thirty year old, I wouldn't presume to take their label away from them, since it seems to serve as useful shorthand for the package deal that they get handed at roughly the same time.

03-01-2006, 05:50 PM	#1
Phoenix_girl Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 169	Can guys in their 20s have a midlife crisis? Is it possible for guys in like their mid to late 20s to go through an early midlife crisis? My ex and i stayed relatively close, but in like the past year or so ive seen signs of depression and he's been really moody. Does seem to take pleasure in anything, became really selfish and uncompromising. It's almost like he became the exact opposite of who he was. I've known him since he was 24 and he had wanted to be settled down by the time he was 26.....but as of now hes 27, still lives at home, has a crappy job that doesn't pay much, doesnt have a car of his own. he kept saying he needed to fix his life, clear his head etc. Is he having a mid-life crisis? will he return to his old self once he finds what hes looking for? __________________ Life is too short - enjoy the day everyday.

03-01-2006, 05:56 PM	#3
Phoenix_girl Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 169	if hes changing its for the worse. he used to be full of life and happy and always laughing.....now everything is "meh' to him and he jsut doesnt seem to care anymore. and in Nov his brother apprently took quite ill so im worried about him....truth is i havent talked to him since the end of nov. __________________ Life is too short - enjoy the day everyday.

03-01-2006, 06:01 PM	#5
Phoenix_girl Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 169	He is [was] also my best friend. __________________ Life is too short - enjoy the day everyday.

03-01-2006, 06:09 PM	#8
Phoenix_girl Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 169	its hard. I went through my own little life crisis recently so i can kind of relate to him, but hes also very private about his feelings, so he would never come right out and say what he was feeling. i know i can't really help him, i just......i guess i just want to know if i'll ever get my best friend back :P __________________ Life is too short - enjoy the day everyday.

03-01-2006, 06:35 PM	#9
chai714 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The End of the Pier Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 2,705	A mid-life crisis does not exist. There is no such thing. It's yet another attempt at trying to explain why a person is facing difficulties in their life. The real and simple answer is that the choices they make directly affect their lives. Unless you want to call common symptoms of aging such as balding, memory loss, lower metabolism a "mid-life crisis," then it otherwise does not exist. __________________ "Your mind is your greatest weapon." - David J. Lieberman, Ph.D "Most every person or situation can be influenced through the power of psychology."

03-01-2006, 05:53 PM	#2
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,812	I don't think it's a "mid-life crisis." I think that the 20s are just a time of huge personal growth. He probably won't be the person he was before, because he's going to grow and change, one way or another.

03-01-2006, 06:00 PM	#4
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,812	Well, he's your ex, so he's not your worry anymore.

03-01-2006, 06:04 PM	#6
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,812	I know it's hard, but if you haven't talked since Nov, you don't really know what's going on through his head. You can't help him unless he really asks for your help. I'm sure he'll get through it. Most people I know in their 20s go through some kind of crisis or another.....

03-01-2006, 06:05 PM	#7
keenan Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 1,696	I call it a quarter life crisis. Sometimes people go through growth spurts, for better or worse. My ex (and also best friend) is going through something similar, though the outer circumstances are different--fancy condo, amazing job, shopping for a porsche--but he's angry and depressed and selfish and completely uncompromising...a different person, nearly overnight. I don't understand it, either.