My meth addict sister is pregnant - again!

AwdreeHpburn · 02-06-2006, 10:31 AM

I don't know which category to put this in so I hope someone has some advice.

My sister is a meth addict and has been for some years now. We all just found out the extent of it a little over a year ago, after she had her 3rd child.

She neglects her kids, she's always high, smokes it right in front of them, has crashed her car, fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion and her son got out of the house and across the street...

We have called social services and the police. She lives in a very small rural town and the poice said they are aware of her and her use but they need to catch her. Child services said they know it sucks, but they have to get word from the police dept before they go in. WHAT?!?!

There are children in danger NOW. What is this whole, 'wait until something happens' crap?

Anyway, she's pregnant AGAIN and about to destroy the life of yet another human. Is there anything we (her family) can do? Can we call the hospital where she will give birth and put them on alert? Have them test the baby for meth when its born?

Just short of kidnapping her kids (which I've been adivsed against by social services) I don't know what to do for my poor little nieces and nephews. I care about my sister too but right now I'm focused on the kids.

Anybody have any suggestions?

RayKay · 02-06-2006, 10:50 AM

I am really surprised they are not doing anything already....meth is a terrible addiction which has users either high or obsessing over their next high. I think everyone whom even considers using it should take a look at what meth users look like within a matter of months or a couple years...it's horrible. Very pretty women, and handsome men, turn into wrinkly, open-sored, cracked skin, skeletal remnants of themself. They look 40 years older. And obsessed with the high. They live for it.

Anyway, it seems to be a very troubling situation if you have already contacted police and CFS...and nothing is being done. I think alerting the hospital would be a good idea, you can even do it anonymously if you prefer. I would also keep pressuring the police and CFS...they should be able to catch her if she is such a regular user.

Has your family discussed an intervention? Consult an addictions counsellor for this perhaps, and discuss the possibility.

Very alarming, I feel for you and those children. That is a terrible environment for them to be in, and the danger to them is terribly high...they could get their hands on it, or be harmed if she is having a hallucination, or falling asleep and putting them in danger.

the yang to the worlds yin · 02-06-2006, 11:38 AM

CPS isn't always the most well organized organization out there. my suggestion is to start calling rehab clinics and see if your family can do an internvetion. if she's in a rehab clinic for the remainder of her pregnancy, she can't do any harm physically to the baby. now, if that doesn't work, i suggest you do your research by calling hospitals, police, forums, anything you can to see what exactly the technicalities are for having to catch her in the act. but i think your doing a great thing, and i know this must be pretty hard for you, considering she's family. but good for you for doing the right thing.

AwdreeHpburn · 02-06-2006, 11:56 AM

I too am surprised they aren't doing more. I hate how some of these systems are set up to drive people to illegal action. I don't get it. I want to go and get her kids. I want to set her up ....I feel helpless but compelled to act.

I guess we'll just have to keep calling the police and Child Protective Services. Going through the motions until her baby is born addicted to meth or dies shortly after birth or one of her other kids freezes to death from being outside too long while she sleeps, or....

Dako · 02-06-2006, 12:22 PM

I'd suggest going to non-governmental organisations and setting up an intervention. Leaving this to a civil-service worker is just asking for delays and administative nonsense.
Meth is scary stuff and takes a long time to stop. Crystal makes you feel so normal and right that you believe it. Meanwhile you're a neurotic, sick mess with no interest in anything but yourself. Not the best thing for motherhood.

AwdreeHpburn · 02-06-2006, 12:29 PM

How do I find non-government agencies? You mean like a treatment facility?

**arwen** · 02-06-2006, 12:32 PM

My friend is in roughly the same situation. Her sister is schizophrenic, on all kinds of meds, suicidal and uses drugs *nonprescribed* on occasion. She has two children, she got pregnant right after her mother and sister (my friend) got custody over the eldest. My friend rarely speaks about it. I think a family intervention should be an option, just like a family taking custody of the children.

An ex of mine used to live in a house where a child was severely neglected. When we were together, we both tried to warn child services. No luck. It takes a lot for them to be alarmed, so I advise you to keep screaming until action is taken.

Ilse.

Dako · 02-06-2006, 12:42 PM

A google search on:
drug treatment intervention
turns up acres of options.

Police and child welfare agencies are hobbled by red tape. They seldom do anything until something bad happens, or until the unfit parent is in jail for something serious.

AwdreeHpburn · 02-06-2006, 01:19 PM

Great - thanks Dako. I don't know why I didn't think of it but I will google as you said. Thanks for the great idea.

-T

moonstone · 02-10-2006, 02:39 AM

I am amazed that social services will not intervene, until police do. I have worked for child protection before (not in the US) and once a complaint (by the public) is made to the department, an investigation will proceed.

I too, think that community support might be a possible option for her. But as you said your sister's children are your primary concern at the moment. In my experience, the best way to 'expose' poor parenting, is to have children visible in the community. If they are not of school age, and are in the privacy of their own home, it makes it more difficult to detect neglect/abuse. If her children are young, it would be wise to have them in some child care/play school a couples times a week. This gives the community an opportunity to notice inadequate parenting. Childcare worker's have a mandate to report such concerns to social services (does this apply to US policies???) Im not sure if this is a viable option for your sister's circumstances.

02-06-2006, 10:31 AM	#1
AwdreeHpburn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tiffany's Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 4,637	My meth addict sister is pregnant - again! I don't know which category to put this in so I hope someone has some advice. My sister is a meth addict and has been for some years now. We all just found out the extent of it a little over a year ago, after she had her 3rd child. She neglects her kids, she's always high, smokes it right in front of them, has crashed her car, fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion and her son got out of the house and across the street... We have called social services and the police. She lives in a very small rural town and the poice said they are aware of her and her use but they need to catch her. Child services said they know it sucks, but they have to get word from the police dept before they go in. WHAT?!?! There are children in danger NOW. What is this whole, 'wait until something happens' crap? Anyway, she's pregnant AGAIN and about to destroy the life of yet another human. Is there anything we (her family) can do? Can we call the hospital where she will give birth and put them on alert? Have them test the baby for meth when its born? Just short of kidnapping her kids (which I've been adivsed against by social services) I don't know what to do for my poor little nieces and nephews. I care about my sister too but right now I'm focused on the kids. Anybody have any suggestions? __________________ What i really meant to say, is that I'm sorry for the way I am......

02-06-2006, 10:50 AM	#2
RayKay Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Middle of Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 13,270	I am really surprised they are not doing anything already....meth is a terrible addiction which has users either high or obsessing over their next high. I think everyone whom even considers using it should take a look at what meth users look like within a matter of months or a couple years...it's horrible. Very pretty women, and handsome men, turn into wrinkly, open-sored, cracked skin, skeletal remnants of themself. They look 40 years older. And obsessed with the high. They live for it. Anyway, it seems to be a very troubling situation if you have already contacted police and CFS...and nothing is being done. I think alerting the hospital would be a good idea, you can even do it anonymously if you prefer. I would also keep pressuring the police and CFS...they should be able to catch her if she is such a regular user. Has your family discussed an intervention? Consult an addictions counsellor for this perhaps, and discuss the possibility. Very alarming, I feel for you and those children. That is a terrible environment for them to be in, and the danger to them is terribly high...they could get their hands on it, or be harmed if she is having a hallucination, or falling asleep and putting them in danger. __________________ [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]<--- [COLOR=sienna]Carbun the Super-Bunny[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#556b2f][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of... [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- My Biggest Hero and Mentor: My Mum.[/SIZE][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=orange][B]Il faut d'abord durer [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- Ernest Hemingway[/SIZE][/I]

02-06-2006, 11:56 AM	#4
AwdreeHpburn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tiffany's Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 4,637	I too am surprised they aren't doing more. I hate how some of these systems are set up to drive people to illegal action. I don't get it. I want to go and get her kids. I want to set her up ....I feel helpless but compelled to act. I guess we'll just have to keep calling the police and Child Protective Services. Going through the motions until her baby is born addicted to meth or dies shortly after birth or one of her other kids freezes to death from being outside too long while she sleeps, or.... __________________ What i really meant to say, is that I'm sorry for the way I am......

02-06-2006, 12:29 PM	#6
AwdreeHpburn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tiffany's Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 4,637	How do I find non-government agencies? You mean like a treatment facility? __________________ What i really meant to say, is that I'm sorry for the way I am......

02-06-2006, 12:32 PM	#7
arwen Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The Netherlands Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 5,396	My friend is in roughly the same situation. Her sister is schizophrenic, on all kinds of meds, suicidal and uses drugs nonprescribed on occasion. She has two children, she got pregnant right after her mother and sister (my friend) got custody over the eldest. My friend rarely speaks about it. I think a family intervention should be an option, just like a family taking custody of the children. An ex of mine used to live in a house where a child was severely neglected. When we were together, we both tried to warn child services. No luck. It takes a lot for them to be alarmed, so I advise you to keep screaming until action is taken. Ilse. __________________ You always* have a choice.* 11 February 2010: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]* is due!* Please see the forum rules for posting on enotalone.com

02-06-2006, 11:38 AM	#3
the yang to the worlds yin Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 722	CPS isn't always the most well organized organization out there. my suggestion is to start calling rehab clinics and see if your family can do an internvetion. if she's in a rehab clinic for the remainder of her pregnancy, she can't do any harm physically to the baby. now, if that doesn't work, i suggest you do your research by calling hospitals, police, forums, anything you can to see what exactly the technicalities are for having to catch her in the act. but i think your doing a great thing, and i know this must be pretty hard for you, considering she's family. but good for you for doing the right thing.

02-06-2006, 12:22 PM	#5
Dako Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 9,113	I'd suggest going to non-governmental organisations and setting up an intervention. Leaving this to a civil-service worker is just asking for delays and administative nonsense. Meth is scary stuff and takes a long time to stop. Crystal makes you feel so normal and right that you believe it. Meanwhile you're a neurotic, sick mess with no interest in anything but yourself. Not the best thing for motherhood.

02-06-2006, 12:42 PM	#8
Dako Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 9,113	A google search on: drug treatment intervention turns up acres of options. Police and child welfare agencies are hobbled by red tape. They seldom do anything until something bad happens, or until the unfit parent is in jail for something serious.

02-06-2006, 01:19 PM	#9
AwdreeHpburn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tiffany's Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 4,637	Great - thanks Dako. I don't know why I didn't think of it but I will google as you said. Thanks for the great idea. -T __________________ What i really meant to say, is that I'm sorry for the way I am......

02-10-2006, 02:39 AM	#10
moonstone Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 12	I am amazed that social services will not intervene, until police do. I have worked for child protection before (not in the US) and once a complaint (by the public) is made to the department, an investigation will proceed. I too, think that community support might be a possible option for her. But as you said your sister's children are your primary concern at the moment. In my experience, the best way to 'expose' poor parenting, is to have children visible in the community. If they are not of school age, and are in the privacy of their own home, it makes it more difficult to detect neglect/abuse. If her children are young, it would be wise to have them in some child care/play school a couples times a week. This gives the community an opportunity to notice inadequate parenting. Childcare worker's have a mandate to report such concerns to social services (does this apply to US policies???) Im not sure if this is a viable option for your sister's circumstances.