Gay Dating

I recently started back to class(a week ago), and I already have a crush on three different guys(one in each of my classes)...***sigh *** (lol)So far I don't know any of their sexuality.

One of them, however, makes me wonder(a little...or maybe it is just wishful thinking). Oneday when I was in class(he sits in the row ahead of me, diagnol to the left)I looked over at him, and he looked back. I sorta looked away(because I'm kind of shy), but I forced myself to look back...and for several seconds we held each other's gaze. Then I looked away and looked back again...This time I gave a slight smile(not an overt gesture, but just one of those "I'm remembering something funny" smiles), and he was sorta looking back at me...I don't know if that means anything, because I am totally clueless about all of this...

The other two are probably straight, but I just like sitting by them anyway...lol.

I just really hate playing this guessing game...I don't want to waste my life away guessing. The only guys I know for sure who are gay are the: bold, brazen, and boisterous flaming queens on campus(No offense intended to ANYONE), who wear their sexuality like a badge of honor. I think that is all fine and good but I am not the least bit turned on by men like that. I'm just a regular person who happens to be gay...no more no less, and I would like to meet someone who is the same way. I don't think I need to transform into a gay activist just to get a boyfriend.

My cousin(who I came out to. He's gay also)said that I should just wait and finish my studies and then I'll definitely someone. I guess that's true...But I feel so left out when I see everyone flirting and falling in love.

Oh well, I was just having one of those "moments."

FOXLOCKE!!! WASSSUUUP MAN! LOL, don't mind me .. I have my goofy moments.

Yeah I'm in the same predictament as you! The staring thing is a big give away to me. I don't think a straight guy would glance so hard at another male for a long period of time.Like you I am attracted to the very macho masculine type males. They don't got to be the most masculine guys, but like you mentioned.. The obvious effemenite males I am not attracted to in anyway (No offense to them). But this is where you stop being scared & stare back harder.You're going to have to test him. If only I can take my own advice lol. You can also tell alot about what someone is thinking when they're looking at you.

There's one thing I regret the most. Back in High School.. I had to go to summer school my 10th grade year. There was this cute guy there that resembled the R&B singer Ginuwine, don't know if you know who he is. Now I like Ginuwine & I'm very attracted to him, so you know I would like this guy lol. Anyway, we'd play the staring game everyday in class. He'd always smile at me & when we are in class, he'll stare at me. One day I was bold enough to stare back at him.. Funny thing was, the dude stared at me & he was smiling & blushing so hard, that he literally couldn't look me in the eye & he started looking down at his desk.I thought that was cute & funny. It was so obvious that he was really diggin me. Even with all of that, I wasn't brave enough to start a conversation with him. Eventually, summer school ended & I never saw him again. Those are just one of those instances where I look back at it & I just start kicking myself over it

So, start talking with him. I know it's easier said than done like I've said before. But the only way you're going to figure him out is to start a conversation about him. Flirt with him a little & see where he takes it.Maybe

compliment him on something. The way he dresses (Even if you think what he has on is ugly lol). I mean try to do something & "IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, DUST YOURSELF OFF & TRY AGAIN! lol

Don't end up thinking about what could have been.. Put yourself out there! I have alot of regrets!!! I MEAN ALOT! It's hard to even think about the chances I had. So go for it!!

Oh I definitely know who Ginuwine is. I used to refer to him as "Ginufine."(lol) I didn't care for his music, but I did like him growing up, haha.

Anyway, I agree with you ThaKidd. I told myself that I would try the staring thing on someone, and it sorta actually worked...Even though I don't know if he is gay or not, but sometimes I will catch him glancing at me. I just keep hoping that ONE of my crushes will actually be gay and sweep me off my feet...lol.

I guess I could try talking to him, but I keep choking up. I get tongue tied when I like a guy and start acting somewhat "goofy" around him...lol.

I pointed him out to my lesbian friend and she said that we would make a really cute couple...lol.

Well, whatever...I need to concentrate on my studies and not all the cute guys in class.

FoxLocke,

I think you should definitely try and strike up a conversation with this guy as ThaKid suggested, even if it's something as simple as what your reading in class, or something to that effect! Of course, it is, as he suggested, easier said than done. And I wish I could take my own advice but it always seems easier giving other people help and aid than taking your own medicine, so to speak. So how about this: you exchange some words with your crush, and I'll do the same with mine, and we can compare notes on our respective experiences from there.

I just really hate playing this guessing game...I don't want to waste my life away guessing. The only guys I know for sure who are gay are the: bold, brazen, and boisterous flaming queens on campus(No offense intended to ANYONE), who wear their sexuality like a badge of honor. I think that is all fine and good but I am not the least bit turned on by men like that. I'm just a regular person who happens to be gay...no more no less, and I would like to meet someone who is the same way. I don't think I need to transform into a gay activist just to get a boyfriend.

You really hit the nail on its proverbial head with this one. This is what frustrates me about the dating scene as well. And I suppose the fact that the three of us are interested in guys who don't necessarily wear their sexualities on their sleeves makes crush situations like these all the more frustrating. Then again, part of it is nice to just fantasize about possibly being in a relationship with someone you suspect of being gay, isn't it? At least for a while, before the confusion becomes maddening...

My cousin(who I came out to. He's gay also)said that I should just wait and finish my studies and then I'll definitely someone. I guess that's true...But I feel so left out when I see everyone flirting and falling in love.

It's interesting that he said this because sometimes I wonder the same thing, whether its even worthwhile to get involved in these gay groups on campus or even think about dating here considering that I'm going to graduate in May (then again, I only live two hours away from where I go to school -- does this make my situation any different than others?) And I agree that the left out feeling is very painful -- it seems to reach its peak around Valentine's Day and through the beginning weeks of Spring.

That being said, I don't think that this should stop any us from at least trying to make friends, regardless of whether there's the potential for a relationship or not. Whatever comes after a new friendship will either come on its own or not at all. Not the most comforting thought, I suppose. But a lovesick fool can always hope, haha!

A question though: I was talking today at dinner with my crush (not the latest one in my class, but my friend I've mentioned in previous posts) and he was talking about how it's much more difficult for him to approach girls than guys. To which I responded that the opposite was true in my case: I find it much more difficult to approach guys than girls. Do others have an easier time making friends with people of the gender to which they aren't sexually attracted to? I just think of the GLBT group on campus I go to for their weekly meetings -- and when I walk in the room sometimes I get deathly afraid that I'm being judged or examined or whatever and it takes A LOT for me to strike up a conversation, just because I'm afraid of making a fool of myself, coming accross as not worth talking to, etc.

 

Do others have an easier time making friends with people of the gender to which they aren't sexually attracted to? I just think of the GLBT group on campus I go to for their weekly meetings -- and when I walk in the room sometimes I get deathly afraid that I'm being judged or examined or whatever and it takes A LOT for me to strike up a conversation, just because I'm afraid of making a fool of myself, coming accross as not worth talking to, etc.

Ok Prufock06,to answer your question.. I feel it's easier talking to girls than it is to guys lol.You also made me realise something, I have alot more female friends than guy friends lol. I'm not the flaming queen,finger snapping type (no offense). I act & dress just like the next guy. I just find myself relating & getting along with females more. Like you mention because I'm really not sexually attracted to them & because they too like guys lol. I could talk to the most attractive female & I wouldn't feel bothered talking to her or nervous. Now if it was a guy, that's a different story. Sometimes girls think I am hitting on them & some try to make the moves on me & I have to end up saying I already have a girlfriend lol. If I was straight, I probably would have gotten somebody by now. I wish guys would hit on me! This is a problem I have.. When I am out with guys & a girl tries talking to me. I pretend to get their number down on a cell phone, but I never call them. I just do it as a front in front of the guys, because I can't turn down an attractive female in front of them without looking weird. That's why I hate going out with straight guys.. Everything is just so Straight oriented lol... I don't even know if I made any sense with what I just said.

I also find myself being worried if I am being judged or examined. So alot of the time in social environments like my church, where it seems all of the people my age seem to know each other or converse with one another. I'm quiet most of the time. I really don't like going up to people & to start talking to them, it's just an awkward feeling.So I spend most of my time to myself quiet in situations like this & I want it to change. I'd like to be a more talkative person & a more social person. I just keep having that worried feeling that I'm going to be made fun of or something to that effect. We have to seriously get to the point where we're comfortable in our own skin enough to not care with what people say. Because when we stop thinking about it, we'd probably be more socialable & get that guy we're been drooling over lol!

I just really hate playing this guessing game...I don't want to waste my life away guessing. The only guys I know for sure who are gay are the: bold, brazen, and boisterous flaming queens on campus(No offense intended to ANYONE), who wear their sexuality like a badge of honor. I think that is all fine and good but I am not the least bit turned on by men like that. I'm just a regular person who happens to be gay...no more no less, and I would like to meet someone who is the same way. I don't think I need to transform into a gay activist just to get a boyfriend.

Congratulations FoxLocke, you're growing up. *Pats on the head* Soon you can be old, cranky, and bitter like me!

I for one, hate it when I have classes with attractive guys and avoid them as much as possible. In fact, I am currently in the incredibly fun process of avoiding my brother's incredibly sweet, smart, and devilishly cute (straight) roommate who likes me alot, since there's no chance of anything. It's a blast, and we both love the awkwardness and hard feelings that result.

My cousin(who I came out to. He's gay also)said that I should just wait and finish my studies and then I'll definitely someone. I guess that's true...But I feel so left out when I see everyone flirting and falling in love.

I think that if you wish you can find someone and study at the same time. It's hard but doable.