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  1. #1
    Member SeaBisquit's Avatar
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    why do guys get close than pull away?

    at times it seems like we are getting really close than all of a sudden he will pull away. why does he do this? sometimes i think it doesn't have anything to do with me tho because he says i'm the only one that he talks to. so i'm guessing something else is wrong?

  2. #2
    Member lost_status's Avatar
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    From my expirence, guys who do that arnt sure what they want. They might be insecure if the relationship. They will get close one minute and then they think its too much, or they arent ready, or they might think they dont want to get attached, so they pull away.

    Guys arnt the only ones who do it, girls do it too :P

  3. #3
    Bronze Member hk87's Avatar
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    I know, it's SO annoying! My friend does it, but I think it's because he has a girlfriend and thinks he shouldn't be talking or getting involved with me!

    Hk87

  4. #4
    Member SeaBisquit's Avatar
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    sometimes i think he is afraid of getting hurt because he says things like girls always end up hating me.

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  6. #5
    Member lost_status's Avatar
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    Hk87, are you seriious! are you good friends with him? It shouldnt matter if he has a gf, argghh how annoying! LOL

  7. #6
    Bronze Member shorty20's Avatar
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    I'm reading a book called "mars and venus on a date" in it, it describes 5 stages to a relationship, and the second is a stage of uncertainty. He's not exactly sure what he wants, but don't take it personally. I would use this time to take time for yourself as well. Don't pester him about why he's backing off or not calling as much. Stay cool, hang out with the girls, and when he calls, just be pleasant and enthusiastic. Act warm and happy that he called, not resentfull that he's been pulling away. He'll come around and realize what a catch you are.
    ~It's not about waiting for the storm to pass.... it's about learning to dance in the rain~

  8. #7
    Platinum Member kellbell's Avatar
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    Hey SeaB!

    From my experience guys tend to pull back simply because they need time for themselves and not to "lose" themselves in the relationship. It's nothing personal to you, it's just they way they are. In my experience, guys tend to have an easier time looking out for their own needs whereas women tend put others needs first. Not saying that is the case all the time, it is just that it has happened to me more times than not.

    What I would suggest is to pull back a little yourself and do other things like hang out with your girlfriends, your hobbies, and such. It's important to live your own life while being in the relationship and not lose whom you are. Just try to relax and give each some space. I am sure once you do that, things will be much better for you. Take care and good luck with everything.
    "Let your soul be your pilot, let your soul guide you, it will guide you well." Sting

    <---- me and my mom :)

    "Get busy living or get busy dyin', damn right..." Morgan Freeman, Shawshank Redemption.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member chai714's Avatar
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    When you have sex with a man who has no emotional attachment to you, he'll no longer be interested. The sooner you give it up, the less likely he is to stick around.

    If this isn't the case with you, then I think that he simply lost interest at some point.
    "Your mind is your greatest weapon." - David J. Lieberman, Ph.D

    "Most every person or situation can be influenced through the power of psychology."

  10. #9
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    i don't think it's you. i think it's something else that's bugging him. to be honest most guys won't show there feelings or let out what's really bugging him.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member hk87's Avatar
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    Lost status- I'm being totally serious! It's crazy isn't it? I'll hang out with him for a few days, then not hear from him for like a week! He just goes all weird on me and doesn't talk much, where as other days he can't say enough to me! We are good friends, and I love spending time with him (because I like him ) but he doesn't know that as I don't show it, but he does pull away from me, it's like he suddenly gets a conscience- he maybe likes me, but then feels bad for thinking that and goes away to try and get over it, but then comes back! His g/f and him are very long distance though....

    Hk87

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