I need advice

scars.run.deep26 · 01-20-2006, 01:10 PM

Hey all out there i need some advice. i have a friend who's been cutting for a long time, and i just stopped, and i dunno what to do to help her. she says it was the owrst mistake of her life, but doesnt want to stop. shes been to therapy but it didnt help. ive just been there for her as a friend and im wondering if thats all i can do...help me please. reply back at my email at my profile please if can help me.

ShySoul · 01-21-2006, 02:05 AM

Being there for her as a friend is the best thing you can do for her. She needs to know people love her and are there for her. She needs to know she has friends she can trust. You especially can help her, since you went through the same thing and know exactly how she feels. Just make sure that you don't try so hard to help her that it brings you down to that point again yourself.

Otherwise, she has to make the final steps to recovery herself. You can help her, be there for her, see that she gets help. But don't feel like you have to save her yourself.

Also there are some links to sites that might be of help on the top of the Self injury forum, if you didn't see them. Maybe they can be of some help.

Wish both of you the best and hope that things get better for her.

estelle · 01-27-2006, 08:29 AM

it is good that you have stopped cutting and you should be proud of yourself, well done.

you can understand how hard it is to stop cutting and if she does not want to stop then you cant make her. having a friend is very important, she needs someone to talk to.

you could also encourage her to deal with her emotions in a less destructive way. help her find out alternatives and simply let her know that you support her and dont judge her.

good luck

Dubzuk · 06-05-2006, 06:16 AM

U being there for her is a really good sign of a true friend, i really think that she's gunna need somebody to talk to whenever she feels down to stop her cuttin, try and find other ways, even if its just screaming in a pillow or seomthing, i really hope that ur friend gets through it, tell her to stay strong.

Shakai · 06-05-2006, 01:04 PM

It's good you are there for her, just keep reminding her that you aren't going to leave her side. Does she know that you used to cut? She might open up to you more about why she does it, and how you can help her.
I'm in the same situation as you are. My friend is a cutter and I know she won't stop if I ask her, because I do it too and that's hypocrisy. I just let her know that I'm there for her through the good and the bad. It's taking a while but she is getting through the road to recovery.
Just staying friends with your friend is great. Don't let her go through it alone.

perfectliljewel · 06-05-2006, 04:25 PM

if she doesn't WANT to stop then there isn't much you can do. when you have an addiction you have to want to stop. i know it might seem like you're just standing there letting it happen but just make sure she knows your there for her. try to get her out of the house as much as you can and if she doesn't cut, this may sound stupid but, make a big deal out of it, treat her to a movie or something. something people just want to know someone cares.

01-20-2006, 01:10 PM	#1
scars.run.deep26 Offline Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Not telling Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1	I need advice Hey all out there i need some advice. i have a friend who's been cutting for a long time, and i just stopped, and i dunno what to do to help her. she says it was the owrst mistake of her life, but doesnt want to stop. shes been to therapy but it didnt help. ive just been there for her as a friend and im wondering if thats all i can do...help me please. reply back at my email at my profile please if can help me. __________________ Jessi

01-21-2006, 02:05 AM	#2
ShySoul Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Where love guides our hearts and actions Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 6,135	Being there for her as a friend is the best thing you can do for her. She needs to know people love her and are there for her. She needs to know she has friends she can trust. You especially can help her, since you went through the same thing and know exactly how she feels. Just make sure that you don't try so hard to help her that it brings you down to that point again yourself. Otherwise, she has to make the final steps to recovery herself. You can help her, be there for her, see that she gets help. But don't feel like you have to save her yourself. Also there are some links to sites that might be of help on the top of the Self injury forum, if you didn't see them. Maybe they can be of some help. Wish both of you the best and hope that things get better for her. __________________ The ShySoul has recently been on a mission to share a banner of love, respect, compassion, honesty, and selfish giving with one another. If you believe in these things as well, please make them a part of your everyday lives. Quality is what counts in the end. The soul never dies. We all have a strength within us that no force can deny. Speak up for what is right and never let anyone silence you. Feel free to introduce yourself. http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=134460

06-05-2006, 06:16 AM	#4
Dubzuk Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Loughton Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 147	U being there for her is a really good sign of a true friend, i really think that she's gunna need somebody to talk to whenever she feels down to stop her cuttin, try and find other ways, even if its just screaming in a pillow or seomthing, i really hope that ur friend gets through it, tell her to stay strong. __________________ Dont Worry Be Happy

06-05-2006, 01:04 PM	#5
Shakai Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Posts: 9	It's good you are there for her, just keep reminding her that you aren't going to leave her side. Does she know that you used to cut? She might open up to you more about why she does it, and how you can help her. I'm in the same situation as you are. My friend is a cutter and I know she won't stop if I ask her, because I do it too and that's hypocrisy. I just let her know that I'm there for her through the good and the bad. It's taking a while but she is getting through the road to recovery. Just staying friends with your friend is great. Don't let her go through it alone. __________________ How can I sleep? When you lie awake. How can I eat? When you're starving yourself. And how can I live? When you've thrown yourself to an early grave.

06-05-2006, 04:25 PM	#6
perfectliljewel Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: sometimes on earth... but usually im floating around Gender: Female Posts: 558	if she doesn't WANT to stop then there isn't much you can do. when you have an addiction you have to want to stop. i know it might seem like you're just standing there letting it happen but just make sure she knows your there for her. try to get her out of the house as much as you can and if she doesn't cut, this may sound stupid but, make a big deal out of it, treat her to a movie or something. something people just want to know someone cares. __________________ "just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry and just because she comes off strong doesn't mean theres nothing wrong" <3 Jewels

01-27-2006, 08:29 AM	#3
estelle Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 16	it is good that you have stopped cutting and you should be proud of yourself, well done. you can understand how hard it is to stop cutting and if she does not want to stop then you cant make her. having a friend is very important, she needs someone to talk to. you could also encourage her to deal with her emotions in a less destructive way. help her find out alternatives and simply let her know that you support her and dont judge her. good luck