in love with a narcissist

lefthanginagain · 01-16-2006, 12:15 AM

14 yrs ago a young lady use to walk by my house daily. She was beautiful and I always said to myself, "I will be with her some day". I finally met her one day out in my yard. We became very "loose" friends for about 6 months just chating. I moved away for 13 yrs and unbelievably met her at a friends house, whom we both knew. We began dating. We would always go to casinos and stay overnight. We had sex right away. It was the "bomb". and is ever time. We had great times with very little arguement. After 2 yrs. I found out she was seeing 3 other men. By this time I had fallen quite in love.When confronted with this news she tossed me away like a piece of trash for 8 months. I heard from her again and we began the same relationship. However this time she was much crueler and had no respect , empathy, kindness, or anything unless she wanted something. Come to find out she is a narcissist. She treats people like objects. Even through all this I LOVE her. I am having a terrible time not contacting her. I know I am setting myself up for more abuse but cant help it. Can someone who has gone threw this please help . It has only been 3 wks and I feel myself slipping and wanting to contact her.

newts · 01-16-2006, 02:21 AM

Yup,

Fortunately I only had this person in my life for nearly 2 years, it was so hard to give him up, it takes so much strength to let them go, however, in my case it was the best thing I could have done for him. He is now on drugs to help him with his addictions and seems to be a much better person for it, whilst he still (in my opinion) shows signs of being a narc, he seems to be so much more responsible for his actions (keeps blaming me for everything) he is just so much more stable than he has ever been.

Stay away, my life is so much more fulfilled without him and I am sure over time when the pain subsides you will feel the same way.

WesternEdge · 01-16-2006, 02:45 AM

Narcissists are very hard to give up. They tend to be intelligent, charismatic and very skilled at getting what they want. I had one in and out of my life for a couple of years. He was the smartest guy I ever met, had a degree and spoke several languages. When we first met, he was extremely charming and swept me off my feet. Within three months, he was so surly, selfish and distant, I couldn't believe it was the same person. We split up a couple times, but I always went back. The final time was about 14 months ago, and I have had no contact with him since. It was only six months or so ago that I realized the person I knew the first couple of months was fake and the real person was the nasty one. That helped me get over him, finally.

I totally understand your wanting to contact her, but DON'T. Narcs don't care about anyone but themselves.

tomservo · 02-04-2006, 03:15 AM

I've begun to realize that this girl I dated, and am still kind of hung up on, is a a narcissist and possibly has borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder. I know that those three PDs kind of overlap. She basically manipulated my feelings for two years and said she wanted to date me, but as soon as I started having some personal problems (which, truthfully, I didn't really communicate the problems I was having to her) she cut things off. And then expected things to be just fine. She wanted to be friends but I couldn't because that's not how I felt about her. I've been miserable ever since, but now that I don't see her anymore it's getting easier.

01-16-2006, 12:15 AM	#1
lefthanginagain Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Colorado Gender: Male Posts: 6	in love with a narcissist 14 yrs ago a young lady use to walk by my house daily. She was beautiful and I always said to myself, "I will be with her some day". I finally met her one day out in my yard. We became very "loose" friends for about 6 months just chating. I moved away for 13 yrs and unbelievably met her at a friends house, whom we both knew. We began dating. We would always go to casinos and stay overnight. We had sex right away. It was the "bomb". and is ever time. We had great times with very little arguement. After 2 yrs. I found out she was seeing 3 other men. By this time I had fallen quite in love.When confronted with this news she tossed me away like a piece of trash for 8 months. I heard from her again and we began the same relationship. However this time she was much crueler and had no respect , empathy, kindness, or anything unless she wanted something. Come to find out she is a narcissist. She treats people like objects. Even through all this I LOVE her. I am having a terrible time not contacting her. I know I am setting myself up for more abuse but cant help it. Can someone who has gone threw this please help . It has only been 3 wks and I feel myself slipping and wanting to contact her.

01-16-2006, 02:21 AM	#2
newts Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 38 Posts: 422	Yup, Fortunately I only had this person in my life for nearly 2 years, it was so hard to give him up, it takes so much strength to let them go, however, in my case it was the best thing I could have done for him. He is now on drugs to help him with his addictions and seems to be a much better person for it, whilst he still (in my opinion) shows signs of being a narc, he seems to be so much more responsible for his actions (keeps blaming me for everything) he is just so much more stable than he has ever been. Stay away, my life is so much more fulfilled without him and I am sure over time when the pain subsides you will feel the same way. __________________ If you can't be with the one you love. Love the one your with.

01-16-2006, 02:45 AM	#3
WesternEdge Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: United States Gender: Female Age: 43 Posts: 4	Narcissists are very hard to give up. They tend to be intelligent, charismatic and very skilled at getting what they want. I had one in and out of my life for a couple of years. He was the smartest guy I ever met, had a degree and spoke several languages. When we first met, he was extremely charming and swept me off my feet. Within three months, he was so surly, selfish and distant, I couldn't believe it was the same person. We split up a couple times, but I always went back. The final time was about 14 months ago, and I have had no contact with him since. It was only six months or so ago that I realized the person I knew the first couple of months was fake and the real person was the nasty one. That helped me get over him, finally. I totally understand your wanting to contact her, but DON'T. Narcs don't care about anyone but themselves.

02-04-2006, 03:15 AM	#4
tomservo Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 46	I've begun to realize that this girl I dated, and am still kind of hung up on, is a a narcissist and possibly has borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder. I know that those three PDs kind of overlap. She basically manipulated my feelings for two years and said she wanted to date me, but as soon as I started having some personal problems (which, truthfully, I didn't really communicate the problems I was having to her) she cut things off. And then expected things to be just fine. She wanted to be friends but I couldn't because that's not how I felt about her. I've been miserable ever since, but now that I don't see her anymore it's getting easier.