Can gay people appreciate opposite sex beauty?

FoxLocke · 01-15-2006, 05:33 PM

I have always loved to look at beautiful women. Grant it, I know that I'm gay. However, I love to look at magazines of beautiful Hollywood starlets, models, and even women in real life. I even watch America's Next Top Model sometimes to ogle at the beauties.

I minor in art at my university. So naturally I love to draw and paint. And I find myself liking to draw women better than men. I just have this extreme fascination with female beauty.

However, I'm not attracted to them like I am to men. For along time this really confused me. I have an innate sexual attraction(and emotional) to men, but I still enjoy admiring women. Don't get me wrong I love looking at beautiful men too(see my avatar)...but aesthetically, I find women very appealing.

So, It is possible for a gay man to still appreciate beautiful women? Well, I guess I should apply the same question to lesbians as well.
Do any other gay people think certain members of the opposite sex are beautiful?

**annie24** · 01-15-2006, 05:36 PM

Well, I'm straight and I love to look at beautiful women. Sometimes I see gorgeous women walking down the street and I try hard not to stare. I'm a bellydancer and I love watching other women bellydance and admiring their style and their bodies. I have no desire to date or to be sexual with them, just to watch.

Sexuality isn't all or nothing, one way or the other.

I think you're toatlly normal

metro_girl · 01-15-2006, 05:58 PM

Please don't take this the wrong way. How do gay guys know they won't change their mind about being gay if they had an intimate relationship with a woman? What if there's some blueprint in their minds about what they want based on ealier childhood or adolescent experiences, or even a controlling mother and no strong positive male role models? For example, I grew up in an Italian-American household. My grandparents were born in Italy. I lived in a Little Italy neighborhood. My ideal man for the longest time was a Rocky Balboa-type. If a man deviated from that norm, I wasn't at all attracted to him. Blonde-haired and blue-eyed men were not at all attractive to me. They seemed weak and prissy. As I grew up and moved away from my neighborhood and went to college, I realized I wasn't all that attracted any more to the Rocky Balboas. I used to think I had to be married to an Italian guy who was Catholic and who came from a "good" family (meaning he lived in my neighborhood and my family knew him). I am now going out with a guy who is about four years younger who has light brown hair and blue eyes, who grew up in a smaller Midwest town. He's kind and polite. I'm not even remotely attracted to the Rocky types anymore. It's taken me a while to figure that out. I think who you're attracted to does change throughout the course of your life. Just IMHO.

**annie24** · 01-15-2006, 06:01 PM

Well, they might change their minds....

but... it seems to me that the issue of changing your "type" from Rocky-type goes to blonde guys is less drastic than going from gay to straight.

At 25, he may like women from time to time, but if he likes men now, it's probably the way he is. I think it's more of a fundamental sexual issue than blonde guys vs. macho Rocky guys.

Jinx · 01-15-2006, 06:30 PM

Quote:

So, It is possible for a gay man to still appreciate beautiful women? Well, I guess I should apply the same question to lesbians as well.
Do any other gay people think certain members of the opposite sex are beautiful?

I personally think so. As you believe women can be appreciated in that sense I do for men. Even though there is none of the sexual or emotional attachment to men, when my friends have their boyfriends I can make the decision in my head about whether the man seems handsome or not. I myself am not quite sure how to word it, but it is along the same lines as you've described, certain things are pleasing but in a different way.

It is almost like a photogenic quality as it regards to each sex. While we may not personally be attracted to them it seems they're an outstanding illustration that catches our eye in the human species.

Just because we're gay, doesn't mean we're beauty blind I guess is the nature of the answer here. We like anyone else can spot an attractive individual of any sex, it is similar to when two straight women tell each other they look beautiful. If truly straight, it isn't expressed in a sexual manner, it is expressed in the "look" manner.

KIDD · 01-15-2006, 06:35 PM

I too admire women. I know a beautfiul woman when I see one. But I'm not sexually attracted to them at all. Sometimes if I see a very attractive woman I even find myself staring at them. So yeah, you may not be physically attracted to women.. but you are attracted to their beuaty.

FoxLocke · 01-15-2006, 07:08 PM

Quote:

It is almost like a photogenic quality as it regards to each sex. While we may not personally be attracted to them it seems they're an outstanding illustration that catches our eye in the human species.

Precisely!!! I was looking for a way to describe it, but Jinx worded it beautifully. For me it is the equivalent of looking at a beautiful photograph and just studying all of the angles and etc.
I'm a very visual person and beauty in all of it's shapes and forms intrigue me. In that regard I am gender blind...

To answer Metro girl's question there is no question about my sexuality. Trust me, I'm gay.

As Annie stated there isn't a large gap from being attracted to an attractive Rocky Balboa type to a Rocky 4 Ivan Drago(who is VERY attractive. lol) type. They are both guys.
But It would be a huge leap for me to jump from being sexually attracted to Ivan Drago to Naomi Watts(who I think is gorgeous).

This post wasn't about sexuality per say. As I stated above, I'm definitely gay. I'm not even worried about that. However, I was just wondering if other gay people found members of the opposite sex attractive.

This issue did confuse me during my formative years because I had an appreciation for beauty but I didn't know how to distinguish that from sexual attraction.

Quote:

Please don't take this the wrong way. How do gay guys know they won't change their mind about being gay if they had an intimate relationship with a woman? What if there's some blueprint in their minds about what they want based on ealier childhood or adolescent experiences, or even a controlling mother and no strong positive male role models?

Lack of positive male role models or a domineering mother is not the root cause of homosexuality. If that were the case then well over half the male population(if not more) would be gay. True, I didn't have any strong male role models growing up...But I knew I was gay well before that. I just know that I'm hardwired completely different.
I dated lots of girl. But I was just never attracted enough to want to pursue anything further.

Hair color, eye color, and feature differentiation are far different from gender. I dated lots of beautiful girls...but I didn't like any of them "that way."

I just wanted to know whether or not other gay individuals felt the same way.

Prufrock06 · 01-15-2006, 07:44 PM

Yeah, I find plenty of women physically attractive.

Recognizing a beautiful woman walking down the street or in class is no different than appreciating the beauty in any other piece of art. But, of course, what makes me different from most of my straight male friends is that, for me, the attraction stops there. In fact, I would say it's less of an out-and-out attraction (not like the kind I feel when I see a handsome guy in class or around campus) but just more of an overall recognition and appreciation of something that looks visually appealing. I'm not really gender-specific in what I find beautiful, though I am gender-specific as to what I'm sexually attracted to, or what I would want to invest in an emotional relationship with, if that makes sense.

Funny thing is, I feel like I have to convince my male friends sometimes that just because I'm gay doesn't mean I lied all those times I said such-and-such was a really attractive girl -- and that I can still recognize female beauty when I see it. Nine times out of ten, she was. I just wasn't attracted to her on a sexual level. Like we'd talk about some of the female stars of television shows or some of the female chefs on Food TV and every once in a while my one friend will ask me, "did you really think she was pretty?" My answer, of course, is yes. I just may have embellished talking about how sexy she was, how I'd want to sleep with her, etc. -- for obvious closeted reasons.

I think it's perfectly natural to see beauty in the opposite sex (if you're homosexual) and in the same sex as well (if you're heterosexual). I think maybe sometimes there's a hangup about finding beauty in the gender to which you aren't sexually/emotionally attracted to -- as if it's taboo to recognize beauty or attractiveness in someone you'd never kiss or sleep with.

But do you all think there are similar characteristics of "beauty" that people look for all across the board, whether heterosexual or homosexual? In other words, are there some physical/emotional characteristics that are just considered beautiful as a universal? Or is beauty much more specific than that?

Just curious.

Jinx · 01-15-2006, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Funny thing is, I feel like I have to convince my male friends sometimes that just because I'm gay doesn't mean I lied all those times I said such-and-such was a really attractive girl -- and that I can still recognize female beauty when I see it. Nine times out of ten, she was. I just wasn't attracted to her on a sexual level.

I've ran into this problem with female friends and their boyfriends, crushes, whatever. Its like you're suddenly discredited in the field of beauty. I actually think being a lesbian has given me a mind more open to the interpretation of beauty.

This does seem to throw people a curve, because I'm ***** I guess I'm suddenly beauty blind to anything male, well gee, oops, I'm not.

Quote:

Like we'd talk about some of the female stars of television shows or some of the female chefs on Food TV and every once in a while my one friend will ask me, "did you really think she was pretty?" My answer, of course, is yes. I just may have embellished talking about how sexy she was, how I'd want to sleep with her, etc. -- for obvious closeted reasons.

Those female chefs are indeed an eyeful far as I'm concerned. I'll concur with you on that one, different reasons but still.

I could go into specifics but I'll refrain from doing so as not to get off subject with illustrating differences between sexual attraction and natural beauty here, I'm sure we all understand that without my additional two cents on it.

Quote:

But do you all think there are similar characteristics of "beauty" that people look for all across the board, whether heterosexual or homosexual? In other words, are there some physical/emotional characteristics that are just considered beautiful as a universal? Or is beauty much more specific than that?

I believe there are certain traits we're wired with on a subconscious level then there are those which we learn through life as being valuable. When we're born, we know that people are helping and keeping us alive but as the years speed by we learn to value a personality or emotion because it presents a certain aspect of the person.

I'm sure to a degree, we all have certain traits that just stick out in each sex. In a photogenic natural beauty sense I generally just prefer women who are the extreme feminine examples and men who are the masculine almost a rough looking type (When I mean masculine there is a degree of broad shouldered and muscular but I don't mean the steroid produced type, that I don't care what I am, is just not nice looking to me. Of course we all vary but thats my opinion). This may even be a result of stereotypes to a degree that we all look for what the men and women are "supposed" to look like, I think that contributes to part of the photogenic look.

Personally though, on the level of attraction, I rarely find myself interested in life with women who are extremely feminine looking. I prefer an individual who is a little more realistic and little less blonde. Nothing against blondes, I'll say that, but herein, for me blondes are more prone towards that photogenic quality, yet brunettes and dark haired women are my own personal interest.

EnglishSilver · 01-15-2006, 08:34 PM

In "real life" I tend not to see guys as physically attractive. If I like a man, its purely down to personality. On the TV I do find some male stars attractive, their looks and possibly the character they are playing (e.g the doctor in Lost) but not sexually attacted to them in any way, they can keep their clothes on thanks! So yes, Id say I can appreciate opposite sex beauty, but thats all it is, skin deep beauty. What attracts me to a woman is so much more complex and rich I could write a whole page lol.

01-15-2006, 05:33 PM	#1
FoxLocke Offline Silver Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Across 110th Street Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 1,003	Can gay people appreciate opposite sex beauty? I have always loved to look at beautiful women. Grant it, I know that I'm gay. However, I love to look at magazines of beautiful Hollywood starlets, models, and even women in real life. I even watch America's Next Top Model sometimes to ogle at the beauties. I minor in art at my university. So naturally I love to draw and paint. And I find myself liking to draw women better than men. I just have this extreme fascination with female beauty. However, I'm not attracted to them like I am to men. For along time this really confused me. I have an innate sexual attraction(and emotional) to men, but I still enjoy admiring women. Don't get me wrong I love looking at beautiful men too(see my avatar)...but aesthetically, I find women very appealing. So, It is possible for a gay man to still appreciate beautiful women? Well, I guess I should apply the same question to lesbians as well. Do any other gay people think certain members of the opposite sex are beautiful? __________________ "Tyger! Tyger! burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?" 1794 William Blake Last edited by FoxLocke; 01-15-2006 at 07:24 PM.

01-15-2006, 05:36 PM	#2
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	Well, I'm straight and I love to look at beautiful women. Sometimes I see gorgeous women walking down the street and I try hard not to stare. I'm a bellydancer and I love watching other women bellydance and admiring their style and their bodies. I have no desire to date or to be sexual with them, just to watch. Sexuality isn't all or nothing, one way or the other. I think you're toatlly normal

01-15-2006, 05:58 PM	#3
metro_girl Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Heart of America Gender: Female Age: 40 Posts: 99	Please don't take this the wrong way. How do gay guys know they won't change their mind about being gay if they had an intimate relationship with a woman? What if there's some blueprint in their minds about what they want based on ealier childhood or adolescent experiences, or even a controlling mother and no strong positive male role models? For example, I grew up in an Italian-American household. My grandparents were born in Italy. I lived in a Little Italy neighborhood. My ideal man for the longest time was a Rocky Balboa-type. If a man deviated from that norm, I wasn't at all attracted to him. Blonde-haired and blue-eyed men were not at all attractive to me. They seemed weak and prissy. As I grew up and moved away from my neighborhood and went to college, I realized I wasn't all that attracted any more to the Rocky Balboas. I used to think I had to be married to an Italian guy who was Catholic and who came from a "good" family (meaning he lived in my neighborhood and my family knew him). I am now going out with a guy who is about four years younger who has light brown hair and blue eyes, who grew up in a smaller Midwest town. He's kind and polite. I'm not even remotely attracted to the Rocky types anymore. It's taken me a while to figure that out. I think who you're attracted to does change throughout the course of your life. Just IMHO.

01-15-2006, 06:01 PM	#4
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	Well, they might change their minds.... but... it seems to me that the issue of changing your "type" from Rocky-type goes to blonde guys is less drastic than going from gay to straight. At 25, he may like women from time to time, but if he likes men now, it's probably the way he is. I think it's more of a fundamental sexual issue than blonde guys vs. macho Rocky guys.

01-15-2006, 06:35 PM	#6
KIDD Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Stone Mountain, Georgia Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 438	I too admire women. I know a beautfiul woman when I see one. But I'm not sexually attracted to them at all. Sometimes if I see a very attractive woman I even find myself staring at them. So yeah, you may not be physically attracted to women.. but you are attracted to their beuaty.

01-15-2006, 07:44 PM	#8
Prufrock06 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Northern VA Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 203	Yeah, I find plenty of women physically attractive. Recognizing a beautiful woman walking down the street or in class is no different than appreciating the beauty in any other piece of art. But, of course, what makes me different from most of my straight male friends is that, for me, the attraction stops there. In fact, I would say it's less of an out-and-out attraction (not like the kind I feel when I see a handsome guy in class or around campus) but just more of an overall recognition and appreciation of something that looks visually appealing. I'm not really gender-specific in what I find beautiful, though I am gender-specific as to what I'm sexually attracted to, or what I would want to invest in an emotional relationship with, if that makes sense. Funny thing is, I feel like I have to convince my male friends sometimes that just because I'm gay doesn't mean I lied all those times I said such-and-such was a really attractive girl -- and that I can still recognize female beauty when I see it. Nine times out of ten, she was. I just wasn't attracted to her on a sexual level. Like we'd talk about some of the female stars of television shows or some of the female chefs on Food TV and every once in a while my one friend will ask me, "did you really think she was pretty?" My answer, of course, is yes. I just may have embellished talking about how sexy she was, how I'd want to sleep with her, etc. -- for obvious closeted reasons. I think it's perfectly natural to see beauty in the opposite sex (if you're homosexual) and in the same sex as well (if you're heterosexual). I think maybe sometimes there's a hangup about finding beauty in the gender to which you aren't sexually/emotionally attracted to -- as if it's taboo to recognize beauty or attractiveness in someone you'd never kiss or sleep with. But do you all think there are similar characteristics of "beauty" that people look for all across the board, whether heterosexual or homosexual? In other words, are there some physical/emotional characteristics that are just considered beautiful as a universal? Or is beauty much more specific than that? Just curious.

01-15-2006, 08:34 PM	#10
EnglishSilver Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Birmingham, England Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 33	In "real life" I tend not to see guys as physically attractive. If I like a man, its purely down to personality. On the TV I do find some male stars attractive, their looks and possibly the character they are playing (e.g the doctor in Lost) but not sexually attacted to them in any way, they can keep their clothes on thanks! So yes, Id say I can appreciate opposite sex beauty, but thats all it is, skin deep beauty. What attracts me to a woman is so much more complex and rich I could write a whole page lol.