Do i try to help her or drop her?

karen95 · 01-14-2006, 07:25 PM

i have a friend that i am not really in much contact with you but i think i have good reason.
i have known her all my life. but she tries to mess up all her friends relationship. she broke the trust in my last relationship. but it is not just me, it is all her friends. i believe that she likes nothing better than to get off with an attached man. she went after my ex and would not take no for an answer. i have a friend who is pregnant and she tries it on with her boyf and the list goes on and on and on.
she does not really meddle in our lives in any other way but always tries to get with all her friends boyf. this has not just happened to 1 or 2 of us. she tries it with us all, and she is not one that will take no for an answer, she will keep at it until they get with her one night, and if she does not get with them she will make up lies and pretend that they were up for it and she said no. i know its lies cause i caught her out one night.
should i just drop her. i am wary of getting into anther relationship because of her because i know she will mess it up and offer herself on a plate to whoever im with. and i know that if i drop her as a friend she will be more likely to do it

DN · 01-14-2006, 08:31 PM

Drop her - immediately. She is no friend.

darkblue · 01-14-2006, 08:36 PM

Agreed with DN - that is not a friend.

honeyspur · 01-14-2006, 10:52 PM

i agree with the above. she sounds like she has serious problems and your instincts are kicking in. i'm glad you have good instincts.

i get a slight feeling that you feel kind of sorry for this person? and that is why you are unsure?
be assured then that your inticts are right and maybe you just don't have the time and energy it's going to take to help this person. she has a long way to go and probably not a lot of skills. hope this helped some....

karen95 · 01-15-2006, 08:00 AM

i have kind of dropped her. i would not socialize with her at all now. she might phone me about once a fortnight. and if i met her anywhere i would speak to her.
it just that i have known her all my life. she is even god mother to my child. her "true colours" did not appear until about 2 years ago.
just so wary of her. i guess you could never have friendship under those circumstances. thanks for the advice.

01-14-2006, 07:25 PM	#1
karen95 Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 147	Do i try to help her or drop her? i have a friend that i am not really in much contact with you but i think i have good reason. i have known her all my life. but she tries to mess up all her friends relationship. she broke the trust in my last relationship. but it is not just me, it is all her friends. i believe that she likes nothing better than to get off with an attached man. she went after my ex and would not take no for an answer. i have a friend who is pregnant and she tries it on with her boyf and the list goes on and on and on. she does not really meddle in our lives in any other way but always tries to get with all her friends boyf. this has not just happened to 1 or 2 of us. she tries it with us all, and she is not one that will take no for an answer, she will keep at it until they get with her one night, and if she does not get with them she will make up lies and pretend that they were up for it and she said no. i know its lies cause i caught her out one night. should i just drop her. i am wary of getting into anther relationship because of her because i know she will mess it up and offer herself on a plate to whoever im with. and i know that if i drop her as a friend she will be more likely to do it

01-14-2006, 08:31 PM	#2
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,445	Drop her - immediately. She is no friend. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

01-14-2006, 08:36 PM	#3
darkblue Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Glasgow, Scotland. Gender: Male Posts: 5,085	Agreed with DN - that is not a friend. __________________ _________________ Aut vincere aut mori. "Whoever loves; becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism." - Sigmund Freud Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself. That is the first principle of existentialism - J.P. Sartre

01-14-2006, 10:52 PM	#4
honeyspur Offline Gold Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Michigan Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 690	i agree with the above. she sounds like she has serious problems and your instincts are kicking in. i'm glad you have good instincts. i get a slight feeling that you feel kind of sorry for this person? and that is why you are unsure? be assured then that your inticts are right and maybe you just don't have the time and energy it's going to take to help this person. she has a long way to go and probably not a lot of skills. hope this helped some....

01-15-2006, 08:00 AM	#5
karen95 Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 147	i have kind of dropped her. i would not socialize with her at all now. she might phone me about once a fortnight. and if i met her anywhere i would speak to her. it just that i have known her all my life. she is even god mother to my child. her "true colours" did not appear until about 2 years ago. just so wary of her. i guess you could never have friendship under those circumstances. thanks for the advice.