The Recipe?

make_up_your_mind · 01-11-2006, 08:47 AM

Hi.

I need help. I am 15 and a half. She's almost 17. (school diary has everyone's birthdays). I saw her once today, in the library. If I see her again, what can I do? I can go and sit in the chair next to her, and say what? 'Excuse me, but, I want to know you, and eventually date you'. Huh?

What if she doesnt like my voice?. Or my short brown hair? Or my face? Or a lot of things.

Can anyone suggest a recipe? Something I can do to really catch her attention. I don't want to try out any David De Angelo ****. Just some tips to talking to this girl.

ALSO, some other important things:

1) Some people advise me to build a friendship with a girl before asking her out (i.e. months of friendly chatting etc..). The thing is, this girl is in her final year and will be going to university next. That leaves literally two terms ( about 5/ 6 months?) to get to know her and date her and whatever. If I'm supposed to take ages making a friendship first, time will be over by the time I know her.

2) It seems she has gone out with three people. (theres a site which some guy runs, which lists 'ties' between people (i.e. dates) in my school...pupils submit the ties and they get posted there on the site). However, I have NEVER seen her with any boy doing anything. And NEVER talking to any of the three boys listed, so I guess theyre faulty ties. And she seems like someone who doesnt have a boyfriend or hasnt really had one. But, it still might be a problem...?

Thank you...And please reply everyone

. I need as much help as possible, plweaaaaassseee pwetty pweaaase

DiscipleOfChange · 01-11-2006, 11:39 AM

Interestinglly enough, the old cliche, "be yourself" has its merits. I would advise against showing any serious forms of attraction at first, especially since you haven't spoken before. I also have to tell you, having survived high school myself, that most girls aren't interested in younger guys at that point in their life. Additionally, starting a conversation would be easier if you had a class with her or were in a club together so that you could have something to start a conversation with. Otherwise, I would suggest seeing if any of your friends are her friends as well and finding a way to have them introduce you to her. In any event, good openers are always simple and open-ended. Try something like asking her how to get to an obscure place in the school. Then after she tells you, introduce yourself and explain that you're still fairly new to the school. She'll probably introduce herself at this point but if not, you could ask her name, what grade she's in etc. None of this is guaranteed to work and trust me, no matter what anybody says, this isn't an easy aspect of life to understand and master.
On the issue of her not liking any given aspect of your physique or character, answer me this: would you really want her if she didn't like you for all that you are?
If there's anything I can impart to you at this point in your life it's the importance of having a defining sense of personality so that you stand out as unique apart from the rest of the crowd. Unfortunately, high school is a world within itself. Even in high school, however, standing out as unique will make people notice you and those who you'd really want as friends will appreciate your uniqueness.

hope this helps

~Mark

Blue Skittles · 01-11-2006, 01:12 PM

Just be confident in yourself, don't be worrying about if she won't like your voice or your hair or anything like that. Just go up and talk to her try to get a friendly conversation going, ask her about herself, maybe later on once u get to talking with her u can ask her out to a movie or a dance or something. Just chill and be yourself ok?

make_up_your_mind · 01-11-2006, 01:48 PM

The things is 'myself' is quite different amongst my male friends. I am quite immature and stuff. Of, course, around girls , I change that and act grown up. But, if Im to be myself then I will make stupid sexual jokes and be all immature. Therefore,I cant be myself,because I simply cant act like I do around my friends, with her.

Blue Skittles · 01-12-2006, 12:26 AM

Ok well, be yourself but be respectful. You can do both at once.

01-11-2006, 08:47 AM	#1
make_up_your_mind Offline Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: London, UK Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 80	The Recipe? Hi. I need help. I am 15 and a half. She's almost 17. (school diary has everyone's birthdays). I saw her once today, in the library. If I see her again, what can I do? I can go and sit in the chair next to her, and say what? 'Excuse me, but, I want to know you, and eventually date you'. Huh? What if she doesnt like my voice?. Or my short brown hair? Or my face? Or a lot of things. Can anyone suggest a recipe? Something I can do to really catch her attention. I don't want to try out any David De Angelo ***. Just some tips to talking to this girl. ALSO, some other important things: 1) Some people advise me to build a friendship with a girl before asking her out (i.e. months of friendly chatting etc..). The thing is, this girl is in her final year and will be going to university next. That leaves literally two terms ( about 5/ 6 months?) to get to know her and date her and whatever. If I'm supposed to take ages making a friendship first, time will be over by the time I know her. 2) It seems she has gone out with three people. (theres a site which some guy runs, which lists 'ties' between people (i.e. dates) in my school...pupils submit the ties and they get posted there on the site). However, I have NEVER seen her with any boy doing anything. And NEVER talking to any of the three boys listed, so I guess theyre faulty ties. And she seems like someone who doesnt have a boyfriend or hasnt really had one. But, it still might be a problem...? Thank you...And please reply everyone . I need as much help as possible, plweaaaaassseee pwetty pweaaase Last edited by make_up_your_mind; 01-11-2006 at 01:59 PM.*

01-11-2006, 11:39 AM	#2
DiscipleOfChange Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Beloit, WI Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 395	Interestinglly enough, the old cliche, "be yourself" has its merits. I would advise against showing any serious forms of attraction at first, especially since you haven't spoken before. I also have to tell you, having survived high school myself, that most girls aren't interested in younger guys at that point in their life. Additionally, starting a conversation would be easier if you had a class with her or were in a club together so that you could have something to start a conversation with. Otherwise, I would suggest seeing if any of your friends are her friends as well and finding a way to have them introduce you to her. In any event, good openers are always simple and open-ended. Try something like asking her how to get to an obscure place in the school. Then after she tells you, introduce yourself and explain that you're still fairly new to the school. She'll probably introduce herself at this point but if not, you could ask her name, what grade she's in etc. None of this is guaranteed to work and trust me, no matter what anybody says, this isn't an easy aspect of life to understand and master. On the issue of her not liking any given aspect of your physique or character, answer me this: would you really want her if she didn't like you for all that you are? If there's anything I can impart to you at this point in your life it's the importance of having a defining sense of personality so that you stand out as unique apart from the rest of the crowd. Unfortunately, high school is a world within itself. Even in high school, however, standing out as unique will make people notice you and those who you'd really want as friends will appreciate your uniqueness. hope this helps ~Mark __________________ When it comes to how to read signs from someone you're interested in, the most rational explanation is most often the one you should accept as true.

01-11-2006, 01:12 PM	#3
Blue Skittles Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Canada Age: 26 Posts: 1,091	Just be confident in yourself, don't be worrying about if she won't like your voice or your hair or anything like that. Just go up and talk to her try to get a friendly conversation going, ask her about herself, maybe later on once u get to talking with her u can ask her out to a movie or a dance or something. Just chill and be yourself ok?

01-11-2006, 01:48 PM	#4
make_up_your_mind Offline Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: London, UK Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 80	The things is 'myself' is quite different amongst my male friends. I am quite immature and stuff. Of, course, around girls , I change that and act grown up. But, if Im to be myself then I will make stupid sexual jokes and be all immature. Therefore,I cant be myself,because I simply cant act like I do around my friends, with her.

01-12-2006, 12:26 AM	#5
Blue Skittles Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Canada Age: 26 Posts: 1,091	Ok well, be yourself but be respectful. You can do both at once.