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"Locking eyes" overrated?


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I'm posting this here and not in "Attraction/Flirting" because I want shy people's opinions. What does "locking eyes" with another girl (in my case) mean? Girls, what are you thinking??

 

I've read other posts about how people usually take the "locking eyes" with another girl/guy as a sign of attraction; and how you can tell if someone likes what they see if they stare, smile, etc. And I think I know when it's just a friendly smile and nod, nothing else....

 

Although I'm very shy, I usually have my head up when I'm walking around at my school or something. I notice a lot of girls will "lock eyes" with me, not just quickly glance (maybe just because I'm 6'5" and skinny ). This happens so often I don't take the locking eyes thing as a signal to talk to a girl; and in my ~2 years at university, I think only 3 or 4 girls have talked to me out of the blue, but it was just about notes or something. So... what does "locking eyes" mean to other people??

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Eye contact could mean that a person is interested or it could mean that you keep making eye contact. You may be extremely shy but there is going to come a point where you can choose to be shy or you can just say hello, it doesnt take that much effort and it will build up your confidence. Remember its just a conversation.

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Generally, I would consider the locking of eyes to mean an attraction, or interest at the very least. However, I don't think that this rule is etched in stone. If a girl is shy or insecure, she may be intimidated to look directly into your eyes even though she is attracted to you. Your above-average height adds another factor, and i would tend to think that this accounts for a certain percentage of those many "eye locks" when you are walking on campus, though not all.

 

Try to think of what it means to you when you lock eyes with someone. Are you always attracted to that person, or is that just your nature? I tend to keep my eyes fixed on those of the person to whom i am speaking, regardless of my level of attraction for them. This makes me think that the "eye lock" is more of a complex signal then some would have you think.

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Well, I consider myself a shy and introverted person (not bad at initiating conversation and keeping it going though...). When I had a crush on someone, I would look at him when he didn't see me. Once he caught my eye, I just quickly turn away because I was too shy... I know that could be interpreted by my crush as a sign of uninterest, but I just didn't have the courage to keep the eye contact...

 

And I agree with uninhibited. Because although I'm this shy, I had no problem looking straight into people's eyes (sometimes making them feel uneasy...) when I'm talking to them. So again, "eye locks" are not to be interpreted without taking the context into account.

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Ok you got the eye lock, but was there a smiling follow up?

 

I remember walking down the street and I locked eyes with a girl for about 3 seconds, then I let a small smile out and then she did and then we both ended up with big grins and she walked by and I never saw her again. (locking eyes for more than 5 seconds may get creepy/scary for girls though, like a stare, and having conversation without relaxing the eye lock to look around is bad form)

 

*shrug*

 

It's about the follow up...

 

 

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Ok you got the eye lock, but was there a smiling follow up?

 

I remember walking down the street and I locked eyes with a girl for about 3 seconds, then I let a small smile out and then she did and then we both ended up with big grins and she walked by and I never saw her again. (locking eyes for more than 5 seconds may get creepy/scary for girls though, like a stare, and having conversation without relaxing the eye lock to look around is bad form)

 

*shrug*

 

It's about the follow up...

 

 

 

What if she's too shy to smile back? Or even somewhat intimidated by the guy?

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Chai,

 

I asked you this before but perhaps you never got my pm or never had time to pm yet (no worries..) just wondering (you or anyone else):

 

How can you tell the difference between when someone is "interested" by you or fascinated by what you're saying, and "attracted to you" (because you put them in the same category)... you know my situation a bit more chai, so maybe you can help. If not, that's OK... I just don't know whether the guy liked me or not still. And I don't even know if I really like him...

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What if she's too shy to smile back? Or even somewhat intimidated by the guy?

 

I'm often too shy to smile back as well, and will just quickly look away when we lock eyes. It often depends on the guy though -- if I'm really interested in him & know, almost for sure, that he likes me back, then I'm more confident to look at him and smile, and maybe even start up a conversation.

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I'm often too shy to smile back as well, and will just quickly look away when we lock eyes. It often depends on the guy though -- if I'm really interested in him & know, almost for sure, that he likes me back, then I'm more confident to look at him and smile, and maybe even start up a conversation.

 

Interesting, because there's this girl who looks at me over her shoulder while I look at her. So she passed by me and I smiled at her, she paused a second and we locked eyes, So I'm not too sure and don't want to jump to conclusions. The way I can usually tell if a girl is interested is if she touches me, just during regular conversation and saying hi etc, I'm still a bit clueless otherwise lol

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The way I can usually tell if a girl is interested is if she touches me, just during regular conversation and saying hi etc

 

Yea, I think the only time I'll ever be confident is either if a girl touches me, or if she tells me she likes me. Those have yet to happen; although I've had a few seriously invade my personal space, when I don't know if they even like me or not, and that's very uncomfortable.

 

Oh, another variable for the equation...and I'm sorry if I'm completely clueless... What is it if a girl stands one inch away from me while talking to me ("locked eyes" + "too close for comfort") ?

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same here... I love it. I went to a Christmas party tonight at the place where I volunteer and there was a guy there who looked a lot like Clark Gable (the actor who played Superman I believe?) except he was shorter and less musclar. But still pretty good-looking. He seemed to stare at me a lot, and chose to sit next to me during dinner. We locked eyes a few times as well, but I wasn't that attracted to him so I didn't really feel the fluttery butterflies in my stomach like I do sometimes when I really like someone... he was a bit too introverted for me I think. But he is really nice and interesting... so I wouldn't mind getting to know him better I guess. On the way out, he touched my shoulder and was like "hey, I'm leaving now, but nice to meet you..." and we locked eyes and I said "yeah, nice to meet you" quickly because he was leaving... and I felt sorta sad. But then he was at the bus stop, waiting for the streetcar and I went to talk with him and we had a pretty interesting conversation and when the bus came he looked sorta sad to leave, and was like "well maybe I'll see you sometime at (the place where we volunteer)." And I was like "yeah, maybe..." and we just looked at each other and then he left.

 

But the problem is that he only volunteers on Tuesdays and I work on Tuesday, so I can only volunteer on Wednesday... I don't really know when else I will see him... and it felt awkward giving him my number when he didn't ask...

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There's nothing quite like eye contact to make me hold my breath in anticipation. I think it's really erotic.

 

LOL. Agree. Locking eyes with my crush sent my heart to racing.

 

Something more about "locking eyes" to consider about - certain people are experimenting with eye contacts. I dunno if they are playing games, they may find it fun to stare at shy people a lot.

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Clark Gable (the actor who played Superman I believe?)

 

You mean Christopher Reeve? From the movies in the 70s and 80s? Clark Gable was a few decades ago I think.

 

The look is something that you can't really describe, its something that you can just feel. With shy people it is often followed by a smile and by them looking away real quick. It really melts my heart when a shy girl does that.

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Hey,

 

Yes, I meant Christopher Reeves. I meant to write that. WHY I wrote Clark Gable (??) I don't know. I think I was thinking of another movie, lol. Anyway, I think you're right about the look being something you feel... but being the logical person I am, I guess that's often not enough for me and I feel compelled to analyze it, to see if it was really something... heh. And *I* do the 'glance, then look away/down' thing, but I'm not shy... I don't think. It's more to protect my ego I guess. Because I don't want the guy thinking I'm attracted to him if he's not attracted to me... so I look away. And also, some guys I just glance at, but I'm not attracted to them. But then they look at me and I don't want them thinking i'm attracted to them because i'm not... so they're probably thinking "oh yeah, she looked away, she likes me"... but really, I don't..

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it's kind of funny that you brought up this whole locking eyes thread b/c there has been this one girl who keeps locking eyes with me yet i don't have the courage to say anything to her. But from my observations i can tell she's really outgoing and likes to talk to her friends in the class. The thing is i dont know if she likes me b/c when she's looking at me she doesn't really smile or anything, she'll just stare, like i'm staring at her. Me and her also have the same lab together and it's even more noticeable b/c i sit like to the left of her facing her backside but when the teacher speaks she has to turn around and look at the teacher but i find that she's looking at me too. It's kind of hard to talk to her there too b/c i'm shy and she's usually around a couple of friends in the lab. The problem is that she hasn't come up to talk to me neither. I wonder if she's playin around or if she is attracted to me?

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Ya, the glance down thing isn't just for shyness. I find very outgoing people do it as well. Or maybe its that when we see someone we like we all get a little shy.

 

Lol. All this wondering about if something is a sign or not. There is so many possibilities. Gives me a headache. Lol. That's why I think you should just go off of feeling, everything else gets to confusing.

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