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  1. #1
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    "Locking eyes" overrated?

    I'm posting this here and not in "Attraction/Flirting" because I want shy people's opinions. What does "locking eyes" with another girl (in my case) mean? Girls, what are you thinking??

    I've read other posts about how people usually take the "locking eyes" with another girl/guy as a sign of attraction; and how you can tell if someone likes what they see if they stare, smile, etc. And I think I know when it's just a friendly smile and nod, nothing else....

    Although I'm very shy, I usually have my head up when I'm walking around at my school or something. I notice a lot of girls will "lock eyes" with me, not just quickly glance (maybe just because I'm 6'5" and skinny ). This happens so often I don't take the locking eyes thing as a signal to talk to a girl; and in my ~2 years at university, I think only 3 or 4 girls have talked to me out of the blue, but it was just about notes or something. So... what does "locking eyes" mean to other people??

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    Eye contact could mean that a person is interested or it could mean that you keep making eye contact. You may be extremely shy but there is going to come a point where you can choose to be shy or you can just say hello, it doesnt take that much effort and it will build up your confidence. Remember its just a conversation.
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine

    "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

  3. #3
    Platinum Member chai714's Avatar
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    Strong eye contact usually means:

    1) Attraction/Fascination
    2) Aggression.

    There are more body language signs for attraction, but as far as eye contact goes that's mostly it. Pupils may dialate too, but it's difficult to really catch.
    "Your mind is your greatest weapon." - David J. Lieberman, Ph.D

    "Most every person or situation can be influenced through the power of psychology."

  4. #4
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    notice not them looking at you but the WAY they look at you, if girls stare a lot and smile thats most likely a sign of interest.

  5. #5
    Member uninhibited's Avatar
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    Generally, I would consider the locking of eyes to mean an attraction, or interest at the very least. However, I don't think that this rule is etched in stone. If a girl is shy or insecure, she may be intimidated to look directly into your eyes even though she is attracted to you. Your above-average height adds another factor, and i would tend to think that this accounts for a certain percentage of those many "eye locks" when you are walking on campus, though not all.

    Try to think of what it means to you when you lock eyes with someone. Are you always attracted to that person, or is that just your nature? I tend to keep my eyes fixed on those of the person to whom i am speaking, regardless of my level of attraction for them. This makes me think that the "eye lock" is more of a complex signal then some would have you think.

  6. #6
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    Well, I consider myself a shy and introverted person (not bad at initiating conversation and keeping it going though...). When I had a crush on someone, I would look at him when he didn't see me. Once he caught my eye, I just quickly turn away because I was too shy... I know that could be interpreted by my crush as a sign of uninterest, but I just didn't have the courage to keep the eye contact...

    And I agree with uninhibited. Because although I'm this shy, I had no problem looking straight into people's eyes (sometimes making them feel uneasy...) when I'm talking to them. So again, "eye locks" are not to be interpreted without taking the context into account.
    Last edited by unicornq; 12-13-2005 at 02:19 PM.

  7. #7
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    Ok you got the eye lock, but was there a smiling follow up?

    I remember walking down the street and I locked eyes with a girl for about 3 seconds, then I let a small smile out and then she did and then we both ended up with big grins and she walked by and I never saw her again. (locking eyes for more than 5 seconds may get creepy/scary for girls though, like a stare, and having conversation without relaxing the eye lock to look around is bad form)

    *shrug*

    It's about the follow up...

    Last edited by Derek; 12-13-2005 at 03:15 PM.
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    Derek

  8. #8
    Member Dre_7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derek
    Ok you got the eye lock, but was there a smiling follow up?

    I remember walking down the street and I locked eyes with a girl for about 3 seconds, then I let a small smile out and then she did and then we both ended up with big grins and she walked by and I never saw her again. (locking eyes for more than 5 seconds may get creepy/scary for girls though, like a stare, and having conversation without relaxing the eye lock to look around is bad form)

    *shrug*

    It's about the follow up...

    What if she's too shy to smile back? Or even somewhat intimidated by the guy?
    Poverty stole your golden shoes
    It didn't steal your laughter
    And heartache came to visit me
    But I knew it wasn't ever after -Jewel

  9. #9

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    Chai,

    I asked you this before but perhaps you never got my pm or never had time to pm yet (no worries..) just wondering (you or anyone else):

    How can you tell the difference between when someone is "interested" by you or fascinated by what you're saying, and "attracted to you" (because you put them in the same category)... you know my situation a bit more chai, so maybe you can help. If not, that's OK... I just don't know whether the guy liked me or not still. :/ And I don't even know if I really like him...

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dre_7
    What if she's too shy to smile back? Or even somewhat intimidated by the guy?
    I'm often too shy to smile back as well, and will just quickly look away when we lock eyes. It often depends on the guy though -- if I'm really interested in him & know, almost for sure, that he likes me back, then I'm more confident to look at him and smile, and maybe even start up a conversation.

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