Catholic and Atheist relationship

justify_yourlove · 12-01-2005, 05:14 PM

I am catholic and my boyfriend is atheist. I know church is separate from state, so we can legally have marriage (outside the church). I know the Catholic church is against it (wed in church) and I've heard that I have to talk to a priest about it if we plan to marry in the church. Does anyone have any experience with marrying in the Catholic church with an atheist?

Initially, we both decided that we'll let our children decide what religion or non-religion they are. Then, I told him that my family always baptizes the baby months after birth. After that, I think my boyfriend says we can baptize our future children then. However, I know he is still strongly against this but is doing it for myself and family. Do you think he should keep this decision?

Would it be a bad idea if I ask and try to convince my boyfriend to go to church with me Sundays? I told him it doesn't necessarily mean he believes in it but being there with me...his presence. Is the church against atheist going to church?

Does anyone have any advice (or experiences) on how we can deal with this serious conflict?

shes2smart · 12-01-2005, 05:16 PM

Is this the cross-dressing guy you posted about the other day?

life_s_strange · 12-01-2005, 05:18 PM

love will stand the test of time

**melrich** · 12-01-2005, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Would it be a bad idea if I ask and try to convince my boyfriend to go to church with me Sundays?

I think youcan ask him but ask with no pressure and no expectations. Never try and foist your religion on to someone else.

As for the marriage thing, I know where I live the churches have relaxed the stance a lot. It seems to come down to the individual thoughts of teh parish priest.

**Hope75** · 12-01-2005, 05:26 PM

Wait, aren't you broken up from this guy? You are talking about marriage while you are broken up?

Beec · 12-01-2005, 05:32 PM

I think you need to have a decision before marriage and stick to it. If he agrees to something, you need to know he will mean it. But you also need to be ready to shoulder the burden of raising your kids as Catholics, because I doubt he will lift a finger.

Actually getting married in the Church should not be a problem, but they will probably make him agree that he will raise the kids Catholic.

However, if you really are Catholic, and he is really atheist, I don't see your chances of a longterm thing as being good. In order to have a successful relationship, you need to have a set of values that are very similar. I don't know how a Catholic and an atheist could do that.

**melrich** · 12-01-2005, 05:39 PM

Quote:

I don't know how a Catholic and an atheist could do that.

I'm athiest/partner catholic. Together nearly 6 years. No plans yet to seperate. No issues.

justify_yourlove · 12-01-2005, 05:43 PM

Yes, it is him.

justify_yourlove · 12-01-2005, 05:43 PM

We keep saying we're "broken up" but I think we're in denial. We still want to get married.

**lady00** · 12-01-2005, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justify_yourlove

We keep saying we're "broken up" but I think we're in denial. We still want to get married.

No offense meant by this at all...but that makes no sense to me. You're either broken up or you're together. It seems to me if this is not clearly defined then there is some missing communication between the two of you. If you want to get married then why are you saying you're broken up? These are contradictory statements.

12-01-2005, 05:14 PM	#1
justify_yourlove Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Los Angeles, CA Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 51	Catholic and Atheist relationship I am catholic and my boyfriend is atheist. I know church is separate from state, so we can legally have marriage (outside the church). I know the Catholic church is against it (wed in church) and I've heard that I have to talk to a priest about it if we plan to marry in the church. Does anyone have any experience with marrying in the Catholic church with an atheist? Initially, we both decided that we'll let our children decide what religion or non-religion they are. Then, I told him that my family always baptizes the baby months after birth. After that, I think my boyfriend says we can baptize our future children then. However, I know he is still strongly against this but is doing it for myself and family. Do you think he should keep this decision? Would it be a bad idea if I ask and try to convince my boyfriend to go to church with me Sundays? I told him it doesn't necessarily mean he believes in it but being there with me...his presence. Is the church against atheist going to church? Does anyone have any advice (or experiences) on how we can deal with this serious conflict? __________________ Best Wishes, Emily

12-01-2005, 05:16 PM	#2
shes2smart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,142	Is this the cross-dressing guy you posted about the other day? __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake"

12-01-2005, 05:26 PM	#5
Hope75 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: kitteh ville Gender: Female Age: 33 Posts: 12,512	Wait, aren't you broken up from this guy? You are talking about marriage while you are broken up? __________________ Muffin cats need love too. Please refer to the forum rules before posting: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php Mama to a beautiful baby girl born 6-25-09. :)

12-01-2005, 05:43 PM	#8
justify_yourlove Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Los Angeles, CA Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 51	Yes, it is him. __________________ Best Wishes, Emily

12-01-2005, 05:43 PM	#9
justify_yourlove Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Los Angeles, CA Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 51	We keep saying we're "broken up" but I think we're in denial. We still want to get married. __________________ Best Wishes, Emily

12-01-2005, 05:18 PM	#3
life_s_strange Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Illinois Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 5	love will stand the test of time

12-01-2005, 05:32 PM	#6
Beec Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: New York Posts: 7,556	I think you need to have a decision before marriage and stick to it. If he agrees to something, you need to know he will mean it. But you also need to be ready to shoulder the burden of raising your kids as Catholics, because I doubt he will lift a finger. Actually getting married in the Church should not be a problem, but they will probably make him agree that he will raise the kids Catholic. However, if you really are Catholic, and he is really atheist, I don't see your chances of a longterm thing as being good. In order to have a successful relationship, you need to have a set of values that are very similar. I don't know how a Catholic and an atheist could do that.