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Thread: How long should a guy wait to call?

  1. #1
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    How long should a guy wait to call?

    Lots of different schools of thought here. I don't know who to believe.

    Let's say, guy meets girl. They talk, good vibing. Guy gets her phone number. How long should he wait to call and contact her?

    Most guys call within 2 days. Girls, would that come off as either too eager or too predictable?

    Some guys call the next day. I understand not wanting to play the waiting game, but again - too eager?

    A few guys say about a week. A WEEK?! My personal opinion is that it is much too long, especially with the age of high-tech phones, email, text-messaging, yada yada yada... and ESPECIALLY if you live in a city where life is furiously fast-paced (DC, NYC, etc). A week in the high-tech warp-paced era is way too long. It might have worked in the 1960s and 1970s when life was slower paced... but I don't agree with waiting a week to call in times like now.

    Finally, other guys wait 3-4 days. To me, this seems about ideal, a good middle-of-the-road solution. Girls, does a guy waiting 3-4 days to call after you meet him keep you on your toes, or is that STILL too predictable or does it come off as trying to play it too cool?

    How would you girls (honestly) feel if a guy waited an entire week or more to call? Would you still go out with him? If so, why?

    Lastly, question #2: ... maybe it is not so much the time elapsed between the first meet and the first phone call... maybe it is WHEN he calls, as in the day of the week? Lets say, guy meets girl and gets phone number on Thursday night. He doesn't call during the weekend because he assumes the girl has plans during the weekend and would be busy... and decides to call her on Sunday night or Monday. That's 3-4 days, not too bad.

    But what if the guy meets her on Saturday night... would you girls want him to call ALSO on Sunday night or Monday to set up plans for a date on, say, Wednesday night? That's only 1-2 days... might seem a bit eager, but what if he just wants to set up a date on a weeknight - and not on the weekend?

    Or should he also wait 3-4 days and call on Wednesday or Thursday to set up a date on the weekend? Doesn't sound right to me. However, if this guy continues to wait and calls on Thursday night and sets up a date on the following Monday, there would have been 10 days elapse between the first meeting and the first date - I'm thinking that is too long. Right?

    So maybe the question is NOT how long to wait to call... but WHEN during the week to call... to set up a date that would be within a week of having met the first time? My thinking is: it's best to set up a date or a get together within one week of the first meeting... otherwise 2 weeks, even 3 weeks, the memory of the first meeting would be vague and the date would be a bit awkward. Am I way off here?

  2. #2
    Bronze Member Lion-Guy's Avatar
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    Wait 48 hrs. then give her a call.

  3. #3
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    48 hours... suppose you met her thursday night, and you called on saturday night? She probably won't answer cuz she won't be home... or if you got her cell, she won't answer either cuz she'd be out with friends and having a good time. so if it was me, I'd wait another day or so to call... when the weekend is over.
    Last edited by Venturer; 12-01-2005 at 02:05 PM.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member RayKay's Avatar
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    Like you said, it's not so much the time frame as a rule, it really depends!

    If a guy takes a WEEK to call though and unless I knew he was on safari in Africa without a phone or something, I would say I would lose interest. To me, it's about first impressions, and I would feel that if his interest was already low, then I was not going to risk low interest later either. I just get turned off. And that does not impress me. 3-4 days, I think they watch too much Swingers instead of relying on their own judgement and feelings about it, however, it's fine with me since we all do have crazy schedules sometimes - like you said, middle of the road. And I think appropriate in many cases like over the weekend if you just met Th/Fr, or over the holidays. 2 days, fine with me - I don't think they are needy of clingy at all, just that they care enough to talk to me! 1 day, well if it's the day after a great date or something, or we are seeing each other regularly, fine with me too. I have likely been thinking of him too, so it's nice

    If someone was to call and ask me out for the upcoming weekend later then Wednesday - assuming this is someone I just met or am casually seeing and not someone whom I am more regularly seeing, or exclusive with (since in that case, it's just different!). Thursday or Friday gets more into that "do they think I wait around for them, I have other plans now" zone, UNLESS we had already set up a date for Friday/Saturday and the call was simply to confirm the plans.

    I agree it is best to set something up sooner, rather then later. I have done plenty of online dating, and if I was interested in someone, and they in me, 7 to 10 days was when it was best to meet to see if it worked offline. Because honestly if it did not, we could both just move on and not waste time building something that was not to be.

    In sum, listen to your own feelings about it, with some caution of course. Don't call her 15 times the night you meet her to make sure she got home okay, and brushed her teeth, and to wish her sweet dreams. People LIKE some anticipation, it heightens the experience. Just don't take too long so that the anticipation turns to worry...then doubt...then disgust....
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  6. #5
    Member Ms Omaniac's Avatar
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    wow...im prob the wrong person to answer this but i figure i would just so that you can have a well-rounded set of answers.

    personally...if we clicked really well...i would want a phone call the next day. if he didnt call me the next day...id understand but try to hold back in liking him too much. but personally...if i felt like we clicked and he called the next day...it would reassure me we DID indeed click and it's not all in my head. he liked me as much as i liked him and wants to see me at our earliest convenience.

    even if it's just a call to say hi...im thinking about you...see you soon in a few days kinda thing. just to know im in their thoughts would totalllllly make my day.

    but if he called me in like 48 hours...id start to lose interest because id think...wow...i cant stop thinking about how great he was but i guess he isnt thinking the same about me.
    - ivy

    if you're in a good mood...don't worry....you'll get over it.

    nothing prevents happiness quite like the memory of happiness.

  7. #6
    Gold Member Caterina's Avatar
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    Two days is fine, it shows you are interested. Immediately is not good, but two days is...or even three. Don't wait too long though either.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    This is a very easy concept call when you want to call. You have to find what is appropriate for you thinking. The point is that if she is really interested its not really going to matter when you call and if she doesnt respond when you call then she wasnt that interested. All people can do is tell you their personal perferences and speculation based on the girls they deal with, each girl is different and will respond differently.
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine

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  9. #8
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
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    I've always tried to be in the 2-4 day area.

    However, when I called it would be to set up a date. A few minutes of chit chat and how are you, then I ask her out. After I take her out, I would also take a few days to call her again. If she sent me any message saying she enjoyed the date or thanking me, then it might be early in that range. Nothing from her, it would be longer. I used to try to space my first dates out at about ten days. So, calling three days after the first date was sometimes too soon, four days was ok.

  10. #9
    heloladies21's Avatar
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    This call timing rule is very overrated and not as important as the material you use when talking to her. It really depends on the type of read you get off of the girl. There are girls I've called right after getting her number at the club and other girls I've waited 4 days to call. It all depends on the vibe you get from her. 1 week is way too long though, she'll forget about you for sure.

    Lately I've been calling a lot sooner, usually next day. My personality comes accross as not needy so I'm not worried about that. Best time to call is honestly when you feel like it because you will be most comfortable and coversation will flow more smooth.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member Lion-Guy's Avatar
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    I don't get his "needy' buisness. I think you are interested in the person just call them and ask them out. Girls shouldn't think that a guy is needy, just straight forward and not afraid to go after what they want. If you get shot down, no big deal, go onto the next. Waiting x amount of time sounds like a game to me.

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