Depression in Society today.

[Scratcher Gillespie]

Hi guys,

I often lurk around these forums without posting. I've found there are some amazing and intelligent people here, and they certainly helped me through a break-up situation I went through a few months ago.

Today I thought I might try to provoke some discussion. I'm going to talk about a touchy subject - depression. I'd appreciate it if people took an open mind to what I'm saying, rather than defensively saying 'I had depression, its not like that, you don't know what the hell you are talking about' I have never had depression, however I had an ex-girlfriend who did, as well as knew a lot of girls who also had the disease. I'm not claiming to be a saviour or guru, I'm just writing my opinion based on my personal experiences.

Basically the issue I have with depression is that from my experience with white middle class girls/boys from successful, nuclear families, there seems to be no obvious rationale, apart from possibly a chemical imablance in the brain. My own attitudes to depression in white middle class boys and girls, who have not experienced the 'harshness' of life or life events that would bring on a case of depression is this.

Society today through the use of mass media especially TV, movies and magazines gives the impression to young people (more so girls but males as well), that life is going to be one big picknik, you are going to find the partner of your dreams, you are going to be the coolest person around at school, basically that life is going to be one big fairytale.

Now when people reach the mid-teenage years, they begin to discover that the world isn't everything it's made out to be. Their parents are just people with the same faults and inconsitencies as anyone else, with the ability to hurt them just the same as anyone else. They read magazines and find that they are not as attractive as the models they read about, begin to discover that the guy of their dreams is possibly not going to ride in and sweep them off their feet (The Hugh Grant style tall dark handsome, rich man), people in their lives are going to do things that upset them, and their grand fairytale plan for life isn't going to fall into their arms.

I think when people begin to realise that the real world is a very different place than what they have been led to believe. Some people are brought up thinking that the world owes them happyness. That their family/friends/teachers are responsible for them feeling bad, and they get stuck in a rut which leads to depression.

An example of this is a friend of mine's mum hasn't been the textbook loving mother to her, and she holds an enormous amount of resentment and hate, and blames her mum for this. In my opinion, the sooner she realises that her mum is just a normal person like anyone else, not the saviour that she has been led by society to believe she should be, the quicker she will be able to let go of this resentment, forgive her mother and accept that some people are simply not going to behave in the way she expects. This will allow her to live a much happier and productive life, rather than holding onto hate and expectations which are unrealistic.

Also, my ex-girlfriend had a similar attitude. If anyone (including me) did anything to upset her, she would blame them for contributing to her depression. I'm well aware that people say and do hurtful things, however, she was realising her happyness from other people's actions (Being told she was loved, beautiful etc), rather than from within herself. Finding happyness in this way is a house of cards that is just asking to be brought down when someone close to you that you have idealised does something to hurt you.

Basically the point of this long post is that people are hung up on the real world and people in it not living up to expectations that they fall into the rut of depression. I think that by embracing the real world, along with the mother who is not loving, the friends who occasionally do things to hurt you, the father who was not around, as a fact of life and not expecting life to be one big fairytale would go a long way to helping people realise that happyness comes from within onesself, rather than from other people.

I'd love to read other people's thoughts on this.

Regards

Scratcher Gillespie

[sonjam]

Hi Scratcher Gillespie

I totally agree that happiness comes from within, but I disagree that the fact that things go wrong in peoples lives is the cause of their depression.

These events could contribute to feelings of anger, resentment, and other emotions, and it could even contribute to depression - if the person is already a sufferer. BUT the fact is that the chemical imbalance is not CAUSED by this.

I know that some extreme events in a person's life like loosing a loved one, or a job etc can be the onset of depression, and that typically is not lasting depression, if treated correctly.

It seems people are getting confued between "having a bad day, or feeling down" with real depression....

[antigravity]

Hmmm.. I suffer from depression, and I come from a white, middle class, nuclear family. As I was growing up I was very protected from the world by my parents.

This isn't a bad thing, however as I grew up and felt the pressures of society (getting a job, looking after finances, dealing with rejection [still dealing with this!], finding and keeping relationships/friendships) I realised that this world isn't fair, and that life is tough. I never knew these pressures ever existed growing up.

If you look from afar at what i've done so far with my life (have a good job, have a nice car, have a small but good group of friends, had a 5 year relationship) but throughout this period (last 5 years... finished school at 17.. 22 now) i've NEVER been happy. Never actually attempted suicide, but have thought about it many times. Why haven't I, and why can't I be happy or satisfied with myself?

Maybe I'm not happy because I don't like today's LIFE itself. I don't enjoy going to work, having obligations and responsibilities of any kind, and most of all, I hate how society forces the way we live our lives and how such fickle things can determine how easy life is (being rich, good looking or naturally popular) for some people and so difficult for others.

Life isn't what I wish it were. I think that is why I'm depressed, and maybe why so many other people are depressed. Growing up sheltered from reality has allowed me to grow up with a false understanding of how life is, and when I was forced to face reality, I couldn't (and probably still can't) deal with it, hence the depression.

[darkblue]

You are basically blaming society for contributing to depression.
That society sets expectations of happiness and what life should be like.
How a 'good life' is normal (whatever that is)

I have to disagree with this.

Each depressive low must be taken uniquely.
There may be a multitude of reasons why someone has developed this illness - and however easy it is to pass the blame to a certain cause; it's unrealistic.
There also may only be one, exact cause - such as Sonjam said, the loss of a loved one.

No one knows why the neurotransmitters are reabsorbed during depression, causing a lower than normal mood.
Therefore, we cannot blame any particular cause.

I think, first of all we should attempt to understand depression; as an illness, before trying to pinpoint aspects of life which may contribute to the development of it.

[antigravity]

Originally Posted by darkblue

You are basically blaming society for contributing to depression.
That society sets expectations of happiness and what life should be like.
How a 'good life' is normal (whatever that is)

I have to disagree with this.

Each depressive low must be taken uniquely.
There may be a multitude of reasons why someone has developed this illness - and however easy it is to pass the blame to a certain cause; it's unrealistic.
There also may only be one, exact cause - such as Sonjam said, the loss of a loved one.

No one knows why the neurotransmitters are reabsorbed during depression, causing a lower than normal mood.
Therefore, we cannot blame any particular cause.

I think, first of all we should attempt to understand depression; as an illness, before trying to pinpoint aspects of life which may contribute to the development of it.

Of course there many reasons for depression, but my situation backs up the OP. I haven't had any traumatic experiences, or a bad upbringing. No abuse (in fact the exact opposite.. I was probably spoilt growing up)... So not all depression is caused by some sort of traumatic event.

[darkblue]

antigravity, I agree - some people have no clear reasons for their depression. And traumatic events are not the only reason why people develop the illness, as I stated:

There may be a multitude of reasons why someone has developed this illness - and however easy it is to pass the blame to a certain cause; it's unrealistic

[antigravity]

Originally Posted by darkblue

antigravity, I agree - some people have no clear reasons for their depression. And traumatic events are not the only reason why people develop the illness, as I stated:

Oops.. got me there. Sorry!

[Scratcher Gillespie]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

antigravity, firstly, I am sorry to hear about your illness and wish you all the best in your recovery. From what you have written, you appear to be very close to the 'stereotype', much like the people in my own life, that I was discussing, where the personal feelings of the sufferer are magnified by expectations generated by mainstream society.

darkblue - yes I am blaming society in a way for depression. I am strongly of the opinion that environmental factors are either a trigger or a contributor to the psychological state that produces the illness. I think it's no wonder people like antigravity feel disillusioned at the state of society, when they were conditioned at a young age to expect something, when the reality was very different. This would be a very traumatic event and would cause one to question ones entire fabric of being.

sonjam - different people have different opinions, of which mine is only one, about the causes of the illness. For example, I found this quote whilst researching my reply.

"You may have heard people talk about chemical imbalances in the brain that occur in depression, suggesting that depression is a medical illness, without psychological causes. However, all psychological problems have some physical manifestations, and all physical illnesses have psychological components as well. In fact, the chemical imbalances that occur during depression usually disappear when you complete psychotherapy for depression, without taking any medications to correct the imbalance. This suggests that the imbalance is the body's physical response to psychological depression, rather than the other way around."

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To everyone - Obviously there is no simple answer to this problem. There is no one cause for the illness. I still believe that environmental factors like I have discussed have a large impact with regards to the disease.

I also know when I eventually have kids, I am going to make a point of preparing them for the harshness of the real world, in order to limit the chances of them suffering the illness.

Kind Regards,

Scratcher Gillespie

[darkblue]

How can you prepare your children for the reality of life, while still allowing them to enjoy childhood?

[lillady898]

also know when I eventually have kids, I am going to make a point of preparing them for the harshness of the real world, in order to limit the chances of them suffering the illness.

Wow, that's kind of scary. Just out of curiousity, how are you planning on doing this? I'm big about letting children be children, they're not just as developed to be able to "take on the real world" as adults, and should never be treated as adults. I'm not saying don't give children any responsibilty and don't let them explore and learn some things on their own, but you can't neccessarily prepare a child for harshness. You can teach them coping skills, how to make good decisions, etc., but nothing can prepare someone for the harshness of the world. It's something learned from experience. So, I'm wondering, are you going to make the experience this harshness while they are children?

I'm sorry if I seem like I'm going on about this, but the last time I heard about a parent "preparing a child for the harshness of the world," the 12 year old child was already working to pay for his own clothing.